But it makes it easier—not seeing him.
“I thought the storm was supposed to hit next week?” That was my hope because if it did hit early, that means the chances of finding my mom and Mr. Michaels are zilch.
“Never know with environments like this. This may not even be the storm they are talking about. It could just be the average snow cloud. I wish I knew,” Rowan’s voice echoes off the four walls of the elevator; hitting me from all sides. It’s gotten deeper over the years, and it drapes over me like a cloak, tingling my spine, teasing me, but most of all, making me feel at home again.
“Oh, okay.” That’s all I know to say.
We sit like that in silence for who knows how long, and the oxygen in the cart starts to get hot from the lack of fresh air. I’m breathing in his recycled air.
Why do I suddenly want to swallow it all up?
“So, Gray says you guys have been talking.”
I lift my head from my knees to give him the evil eye, but I forgot, he can’t see me. “Yeah, but only in a legal sense.”
“Don’t be so disappointed,” he snaps.
I pinch my brows together, out of habit from making so many expressions when I speak. “I’m not disappointed. He has been a good friend and has helped me as much as he can.”
“That’s really it?”
“Yep,” I nod, popping the end of the word for emphasis.
“If you want to take it further with him, it’s okay. You can. Gray is a good guy.”
Did Rowan seriously just give permission for me to date his best friend? “I think we both know he would do better with someone like Blaire.”
“Does that bother you?”
I slam my head on the wall of the elevator and groan from frustration. “What is it that you want, Rowan? No, it doesn’t bother me. I only see him as a friend, that’s all. Just as he sees me. He’s helped me when no one else could.” Or would. I wanted to ask for Rowan’s help so bad, but I know he would have laughed in my face and told me it was exactly what I deserved.
Well, that’s what I think anyway.
He doesn’t say anything in return. I guess it was the exhaustion in my voice, the worry, or something, I don’t know what it was, but it was enough to make him speechless. I’m waiting until he blows, though. This must be the calm before the storm. He’s going to let me have it. I’m not sure how long we are going to be stuck together, but something has to give.
And I had a feeling it’s me who will break from whatever he has to give.
I wipe the back of my neck. Sweat has started to gather along my hairline and is dripping down the column of my spine. “Do you think they are okay?” I ask, whispering in the dark to make sure I’m not by myself.
“I wish I knew,” he answers a few seconds later.
“They have to be, right? I mean, we can’t lose them, too.”
“I know. Both of us have lost enough.”
I swallow, wondering if he means the relationship between us.
“You smell different,” he says out of the blue, completely changing the subject.
I let out an offensive huff, “It’s hot in here, okay? I’m sweating. It’s snowing outside, and I’m sweating my body weight.”
He laughs. It’s almost eerie since it is in the dark, but knowing it is Rowan keeps my nerves steady. Even after all these years, I still feel safe around him. No matter how angry we are at each other. “No. I don’t mean in a bad way. You changed your perfume. It’s still sweet, but more flowery.”
It’s a good thing it is dark, or he would be able to see how red my cheeks are. “Yeah, I changed it. They call it ‘wild honeysuckle’.”
“It smells good, even through the sweat.”
“Rowan! Are you saying I smell bad right now?”
“I’m just saying, both of us probably are a little rich right now, okay?” The mirth in his voice makes me smile.
“Well, I wasn’t going to say anything but…” I leave my sentence hanging to make him think he stinks. He doesn’t. He smells like cologne. It’s light and airy, kind of like the ocean, but mixed with sandalwood. It’s different from the last one. I guess we both upgraded.
“You’re full of it. I smell like damn sunshine and man.”
“And man?” I giggle. “Aw, whatever you need to tell yourself.”
“You’re still a little shit, still. Aren’t you?”
“Aren’t you?” I mock him, as if we are fifteen again.
“I ought to make you sleep in here while I sleep like a baby in the suite.”
His statement makes reality crash down. The suite. His life. His hatred for me. For a minute, I forgot about everything. “I’ve been keeping track of you and Gray with the company. I know it doesn’t mean anything, but I’m proud of you both. The company has grown so much. You must be so busy.”
“Thanks. Yeah, it’s been a journey, Gray is handling everything right now while we search for dad and Barbara.” He pauses and lets out a deep breath. I swear, I can feel the warmth dancing over my skin, even if I am on the other side of the elevator. “And you’re wrong. It means a lot, Everly. Thank you.”
I don’t say anything back. What’s there to say? Besides ‘I love you still’. And that will make an already awkward conversation completely unbearable. I want to comment on how good he looks. I want to tell him how sorry I am for ruining everything, but now isn’t the time. Not while we are trapped in a metal cube, sweating our asses off and needing to find our parents.
My head thuds against the wall, and I shut my eyes.
“Everly?”
“Yeah?” But we are interrupted by the door being plied apart. “Finally.”
I wince as I think of how that sounded.
