Hummmmmmmmmmmmm.
Gritting my teeth, I turned my nose to the wall and lifted a warning finger to it. “Be quiet, you stupid wall!”
“Letty,” that boy said as he stepped beside me and splayed himself against the wall, his long blonde ponytail letting loose a few strands that he tucked behind his ear. “You know that you hearing the walls isn’t a bad thing, right?”
I scoffed so hard spit fell from my lips. “Goes to show what you know. Do you see anyone else in this nuthouse listening to the walls? No, of course you don’t. Only me, the freak.” I put my ear to the wall, my eyes facing that boy. A smile worked its way up his mouth, and he stared at me in a way I didn’t understand. We hardly knew each other, but he always gave me these looks. Looks like there was a time when I used to remember his name. “Why do you call me Letty?” I asked him in a mumble, picking at some of the cement cracks on the wall. “No one else calls me that. My name is Violet.”
His gaze dropped and he stared at my hands before he answered. “You said it. I don’t remember when.”
I pushed off from the wall and squinted at him. “I never said that.”
“You don’t even remember my name, how would you know what you’ve said to me?”
I grumbled under my breath, because he was partially correct. Plus it wasn’t that I didn’t like being called Letty. It actually felt right to me, especially the way it rolled off that boy’s tongue, like he was praying. Violet always made me feel like I was in trouble. I just didn’t want him assuming we were friends, because we weren’t.
“Say my name. Just once, and I’ll leave you alone, I promise.”
I’ll admit, while I didn’t really know that boy, something inside me was certain that that was a promise he wouldn’t keep.
“Ol…” The word stuck in my throat like the dry pills. My fingers twitched inside my sleeves. I wanted… I wanted to touch him. To run my fingers through his hair. To kiss him.
What the hell was wrong with me?
Swallowing, I looked down at the polished floor. “Olivander.”
Saying it out loud, it felt familiar, almost like I’d heard it before. When was the question.
Olivander’s hair fell over his eyes again, almost hiding his hopeful expression, until he tucked it behind his ear again. “Do you remember me, Letty?”
I wanted to cry. Of course I didn’t remember him, I had no memories outside of this place, and the fact that he expected me to know him was overwhelming me. Freeing them from my sleeves, I brought my fists up and started banging them against my skull.
Worthless brain, worthless girl. Not good for anything. Can only forget where things are and hear the walls hummmmmmmmmm.
SHUT UP!!
Beat my brain in, beat it until it stops being useless.
“Letty, no! Stop.” Olivander grabbed my arms and fought with me to lower my fists, pulling me into his arms so I’d stop hurting myself. His arms closed around me, and something about it started to calm me down. It was nice, being so close to him. I scraped at my knuckles with my teeth, my fists pinned between us. “Letty,” he soothed, his large hand sliding up my cheek and running through my hair.
HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
The walls were shouting at me, demanding to be noticed above Olivander’s soothing words in my ear. I shoved him away and brought my leg up to kick against the wall.
“SHUT UUUUUP!” I shouted, the air crackling around me, and then an explosion took me with it.
I sat on my bed, bandages on my arms, hazy and uncertain how I’d gotten there. I’d taken my pills, and then… I guess I’d gone to my room? But how had the bandages gotten there?
“Hey,” someone said in my doorway, and I looked up to see a blonde-haired boy in the doorway, his long hair pulled back into a ponytail. He also had bandages on his arms, and a few on his neck and face. Why was he talking to me? I’d never seen him before in my life.
“Hi,” I said awkwardly, tugging on my bandages. I didn’t feel like talking, I just wanted him to go away. “You new here? Hope you’re not as batshit crazy as the rest of us. But then again, you wouldn’t be in here if you weren’t.” I stood and he watched every movement I made like the way cats study their prey. “I’m Violet.”
His face fell, almost as if I’d punched him in the stomach. “I’m Olivander. Nice to meet you, Violet.” He turned, standing there for a few seconds clenching his fists, and he was off down the hall, his shoes echoing on the tile.
What a weirdo.
I put on a clean white jacket from my Asylum assigned wardrobe and left my room, the floor cold on my bare feet. Checking down both sides of the hall, the boy was already gone. Good riddance. It wouldn’t be good to make friends with someone who causes trouble, and he seemed the type.
I navigated through turns and doorways, hiding my face behind my hair whenever someone passed me. If they stopped me, they’d ask me if I heard the walls, and I didn’t want them to know the answer was yes. The small hum was still there, as it was every day, reminding me why I was locked up, for being certifiably bonkers.
One of my only refuges here was at the end of my journey: the library. It didn’t have much, mostly books from before the 1980’s, but I had no idea how long ago that year was, they didn’t tell us things like that. I could only tell it had been awhile by the obvious aging on the books, the covers flaking off, and the pages turning
