But that had been on Rose’s mind—when she wasn’t just stewing in rage—for the past few days.
That was how she found herself walking down the newly decorated streets of Gold Valley, heading toward the police station when she very much should have been off working at the ranch. But Logan’s avoidance made all that difficult.
Instead, with a sandwich clutched tightly in her hand, she walked into the station, waving at Marlon, the secretary, as she walked back toward her sister’s office.
Thankfully, Pansy was there, wearing her uniform and looking tough and smart as always.
Rose was so proud of her sister. The way that she had single-mindedly worked to get this position, to uphold their father’s legacy.
“Rose,” she said. “What brings you here?”
“Oh, I just thought I would bring you lunch.” She held up the sandwich.
“Oh. West is on his way. He was going to take me out.”
Rose’s stomach fell in disappointment. “Oh.”
“But I can sit for a bit. He won’t be here for a while.”
“Okay,” Rose said.
“You can eat lunch if you want,” Pansy said.
It was then Rose realized she only had one sandwich. “Oh. I kind of forgot to get myself something.”
“Okay,” Pansy said. “Since I’m meeting with my husband, you eat that sandwich, and then you tell me why you’re actually here. Because if you had really come to bring me lunch, you would’ve remembered your own.”
“It’s just... I need to talk to you about...about men.”
“Oh,” Pansy said, looking vaguely appalled.
“I can’t talk to Sammy. Not anymore. Because you know, she’ll tell Ryder.”
“Fair,” Pansy said.
“And I don’t want to talk to Iris about it. Partly because she doesn’t actually know anything. And also because I just made a really big mess of something, and she’s right in the middle of it.”
“Do you mean the Elliott thing?”
“Yes. He liked me, apparently.”
“Oh,” Pansy said, this one with a more disturbed inflection than the previous.
“I know.”
“Do you... Do you like him?”
“Oh, no,” she said. “I really don’t.”
“I thought you wanted to talk to me about men?”
“I do. Not him. I was just saying... It’s part of why I can’t talk to Iris. Also, you’re not a virgin.”
“No,” Pansy said slowly, shifting in her seat. “I’m not.”
“I am.” She waited for her sister to react. She didn’t. “I don’t know anything.”
“I actually did know that,” Pansy said.
“Well. I don’t want to know nothing, not anymore. I walked myself into a really terrible situation, and I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t know if I should... I don’t know if I should go for it, or if I should not, or what.”
“Well, none of what you just said tells me anything I didn’t already know, which is that you don’t exactly have a rich sexual history. And you didn’t tell me what happened, either.”
“I got kissed.”
“Well, that’s good. Normal. I think, the lack of... I think the way that we did things isn’t exactly...”
“I know,” Rose said. “We are a bunch of weirdos. A bunch of weirdos who have avoided some very typical milestones because of our...our family stuff. But that doesn’t mean that I feel ready for it now. Except I also... I really liked it.”
“Your kiss?”
“Yes. But it’s with somebody that I probably shouldn’t have kissed. And I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do, because he said it’s not going to happen again. But I think it could. I think it could if I...if I pushed him.”
“Well, do you want to push him?”
“Kind of. But I don’t know what would happen if I did. When he wants sex?”
“He’s a man. If he kissed you, he wants sex.”
“Is that how it was with West?”
Pansy scrunched up her face. “I don’t really want to talk about my sex life with West.”
“Please. I’m desperate. You told me... I mean, you told all of us when you slept with him. So can’t you just... Can’t I use your knowledge to my benefit, please?”
“I’ll try,” Pansy said. “But if it gets too awkward I’m going to have to tap out.”
“Fine. I’ll try not to be awkward.” Rose had always been fairly forthright, while Pansy was a bit more guarded. Rose would have cheerily taken every detail her sister wanted to give. Because that was how you learned, after all. It just made good sense to share when you had something interesting to share.
“What do you need to know?”
“It’s good, right? I mean, sex. It’s fun?”
“I don’t know if fun is the right word,” Pansy said. “I mean, it can be. But it can also be...intense. It can make you feel connected to somebody in a way that you might not want to be. You know, you’re talking to someone who figured she’d have a little bit of a wild time with the bad boy and ended up engaged to him. So maybe I’m not the best person for this discussion.”
“You’re the only person I have,” Rose said. “And, okay, that actually is helpful. So, I know the two of you ended up falling in love. But you did want to just have fun with him. And it was fun.”
“Yes. I guess. On the most basic physical level. Yes.”
“What made you decide to...to do it?”
“I didn’t exactly decide,” Pansy said. Her cheeks turned bright red. “The first time just kind of happened. So did the second time. It kind of just kept happening. But West is just... I don’t know. He’s a whole thing.”
Her sister did not sound unhappy about the fact that her fiancé was a whole thing.
“I think I might have to decide,” Rose said. “I think I might have to... I think I might have to push him. But I’m not sure if I want to. How do I know if I want to?”
“If you don’t know if you want to, then don’t.”
“It’s not that... It’s the consequences. I just... I don’t know how I would go back to...”
“Who is it?” Pansy asked.
There was a sudden sharpness to her sister’s eyes. A sudden stillness to
