“Iris,” Rose said. “I did not mean to insult you by setting you up with him. I thought that you would want somebody who was stable. Somebody nice. I didn’t see him as beige or boring, that’s not it. So many men out there are...they aren’t together like you. You took care of me. I didn’t want you to be taking care of some guy. I thought you should have someone who had his ducks in a row. Someone who...someone who would take care of you.”
Iris’s expression changed. “Rose, that’s... It’s sweet of you. And it makes me see it a little differently, that’s for sure. But I’m not looking for someone to take care of me. I don’t need it.” She let out a long breath. “It’s just... I need to think about some things.”
“Like?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know, maybe... Maybe I should buy a bakery.”
Rose hadn’t expected that. “A bakery?”
“Yes. I’ve been thinking about it. Ever since we saw that Sugarplum Fairy went out of business. I’ve been thinking about starting my own business. I would need a lot of capital. Money to invest and a business plan, and a lot of things that I don’t know anything about. And really... None of us do.”
“But we would all help you,” Rose said.
“I know you would,” Iris responded. “Look, Rose, I never doubted that what you were doing you were doing because you loved me.”
“But I hurt you. I didn’t want to do that.”
She didn’t think that she could possibly feel...worse. But she did. She felt like she had been stripped of an entire protective layer. Probably left it somewhere back in Logan’s room. And now here she was, having to really face down the implications of what she had done by meddling in her sister’s life.
“I’m so sorry,” she said. “I didn’t understand what I was doing.”
She reflected on the intimacy that she had shared with Logan. In her mind, setting her sister up with a guy was so much more simple than she realized it was now. She was saying: Here, I think you should get naked with this man. Let him touch you. Let him inside of you.
Oh, there were so many ways that Logan had been right about her and all she didn’t know. It stung now. Now that it was too late for her to go back and do better. Be different. Understand.
When she thought of it in those terms, of course pleat-front khaki Elliott was a terrible choice. Of course Iris didn’t want a man who was thinking about water filtration when he touched her.
Sex was... It was intimate and raw and terrifying. It was the most incredible thing she had ever experienced. It wasn’t something she could just go get a lesson in.
She had been an idiot to think so. And Logan had been right.
And maybe, just maybe, that was actually why she was so upset. Because everything he had said to her was true.
That she didn’t know what she didn’t know.
She had no idea what she was asking him for, and so it had been easy for her to walk herself into something she didn’t even understand.
“Are you okay?” Iris asked.
“I... How did you end up asking about me? See, this is the problem,” Rose said. “I just wanted to do something for you. But I’m sorry that I didn’t ask you what you needed. You’ve always been there for me. You’ve always been there for me, and so often in this family I feel like...like I was everybody’s burden to carry. I’m older now, I don’t have to be a burden. And here I went and made myself a burden without even meaning to.” She sighed. “I’m sorry. Can I help you with the bakery idea?”
“I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Neither do I. But we can find out. And I’ll help you. I’ll support you in whatever way I can, even if it’s just...carrying things. Or painting walls.”
“I think I am a long way away from painting anything,” Iris said. “It’s just... It’s just a tiny little idea. In a germ of one. It’s probably not worth thinking much about right now. But... Yeah, I don’t know. I just think it might be nice. To do something new. To do something bigger.”
Rose opted not to say that the concept of doing something had possibly spurred her into doing the most rash, ridiculous thing she had ever done. It wasn’t the time.
And given the way that everything was, she supposed it wasn’t the ideal moment to confess to her sister that she’d had amazing,
