‘So, where are you from? Obviously not London,’ Autumn said, putting her fork down and nursing her glass of wine.
‘Obviously?’
‘Well, I mean your accent is…’
‘I’m from Hull,’ he told her.
‘I haven’t been there.’
He let out a laugh and breathed air in through his nostrils. His eyes creased up and he leaned back in his chair. She dropped her eyes to her plate and pushed a mushroom around. Embarrassment washed over her again.
‘It isn’t somewhere you set out to visit. Although it does have a tourist information center—fuck knows why,’ he said, shaking his head.
‘Do you still live there? I mean, when you’re not doing this sort of thing?’
‘God, no.’
‘So, where do you—’
‘Not Chigwell or Chelsea,’ he responded with a smile.
She gave him a timid one back but let out a quiet breath of frustration. He wasn’t going to tell her where he lived. He probably wasn’t allowed to tell her where he lived. He was, after all, someone employed by her mother, someone used to keeping secrets, someone who dealt with the truth by wrapping it up in a package of lies.
‘Remember our deal?’ Nathan asked, watching her swirling the pasta around with her fork.
‘I’m so full, I don’t think I can manage it all.’ Autumn sighed and put her hands to her stomach.
‘Oh, I think you can.’
His eyes were fixed on her. She looked from him to the dinner plate and collected another miniscule amount on her fork.
‘So, what is it with you and food?’ he asked. ‘Isn’t it a bit 1990s to have an eating disorder? Aren’t people into drinking those fucking friendly bacteria drinks and running on treadmills tuned into their iPods to stay in shape now?’
‘I don’t have an eating disorder, I just have a small appetite.’
‘Yeah, of course,’ Nathan said with a nod.
‘What’s it to you, anyway? Why does it matter to you how much I eat? I mean you’re not my dietician!’
‘Why does it matter to me? You want to know?’ He leaned across the table toward her.
She nodded. Now that he had leaned forward, almost aggressively, she wasn’t sure she did want to know.
‘These people, whoever they are, are going to come for you, and, like I told you before, when they do, you’re not going to last very long on five strands of pasta, two bits of onion, and a couple of mushrooms. You need to be fit. You need to be healthy. You need to be prepared for anything that happens.’
‘But they won’t take me. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? To stop them from taking me.’ Autumn looked at him for confirmation.
‘I don’t know whether I can stop them,’ Nathan admitted.
‘But you said… you said you’d make sure…’ she began as fear wrapped itself around her like an invisible cloak.
‘You’ve got to trust me, Autumn, no matter what happens. No matter what I tell you, no matter what anyone else tells you, you have to trust me. I can’t stress that enough.’ He reached across the table and took hold of her hands.
Pins and needles pricked her forearms as he squeezed her hands in his. Those blue and gold eyes bored into her, trying to find their way into her deepest thoughts, her most hidden away dreams, and her multitude of fears.
She opened her mouth to speak and two fat tears fell from her eyes and snaked their way down her cheeks. ‘Is Juan really sleeping with Janey?’ she asked. Her voice was weak and hoarse as she closed her eyes, bracing herself for his reply.
‘Yes,’ he responded.
She squeezed her eyes shut even more, trying to crush the feeling that was brewing in her head, a feeling that threatened to set off a reaction, a loss of control. Her boyfriend and her personal assistant, her best friend, both of them cheats and liars, both of them thinking they could make a fool out of her. They may not have ever said anything meaningful to her, but they were all she had.
‘Listen, don’t feel bad about it. They’re a match made in heaven from what I’ve seen, and you can do a lot better. I mean what sort of bloke puts olive oil on his head?’ Nathan asked.
Autumn snapped open her eyes and wiped them with the back of her hand. She took a firm hold of her wine glass and emptied the contents down her throat.
‘He even had it imported,’ she said with a sniff.
‘Wanker.’
She loaded her fork up with food and opened her mouth as wide as possible to fit it all in.
‘More wine?’ Nathan suggested, offering her the bottle.
With her mouth full of food, Autumn replied, ‘Yes, please, and… do you have chocolate?’
Nathan smiled and nodded his approval.
‘I’ll look, but don’t hold your breath for Cadbury’s.’
*
He’d found a bar of dark chocolate in a cupboard full of baking ingredients. He could only assume it belonged to the owner. He watched her as she broke off square after square and urgently pushed them into her mouth. He wasn’t sure eating the entire bar would be enough to deal with what he was going to tell her next.
He took a large mouthful of wine and swallowed it for something like Dutch courage. He was losing his way here, and if he wasn’t careful, she would see that.
*
She looked across at him from her position on the sofa. As soon as she’d opened the chocolate, she’d almost forgotten where she was and even who she was. She’d taken up a position in the middle of
