‘But I know it’s happening. I can’t turn a blind eye to it.’ He slammed the gun back down on the cabinet.
‘I agree with Nathan,’ Autumn spoke up, handing Tawanda a cluster of onions from the basket.
Tawanda shook her head, and Autumn could sense her displeasure in the way she threw things into cupboards as she unpacked the baskets.
‘It’s the right thing to do, Tawanda,’ Nathan told her.
‘Is it, Mr Nathan? It’s the right thing to do to involve this child in your personal grievances, is it? She doesn’t know anything about this life, and she shouldn’t know. You shouldn’t be turning her into some sort of avenging angel like you. You know my feelings. I believe in truth and honor, but not at any price. Sometimes you have to let things go.’ Tawanda lifted her head and locked eyes with Nathan.
Autumn watched Nathan. He stood firm, looking back at his friend, but unmoving, unfaltering, determined.
‘Mother of Mary, why are you so stubborn?’ Tawanda exclaimed then turned away.
‘I’m going to need your help, Tawanda. I want to keep this as a safe house. I need you to be ready if—’
‘I know what my job is, Mr Nathan, and, of course, I will help you. I’ve always helped you, because you are a good man. Good and brave. But foolhardy.’ She put the basket down on the table and swept from the room.
Autumn didn’t let Tawanda’s retreat, or the silence that followed, deepen. ‘I’m not a child, you know.’ She raised her eyes to meet his.
‘She’s a mother who’s never been a mother. It’s just her way,’ Nathan stated.
‘I know that, but I’m not a child. I’m not stupid. I may have had a different reality to most people, but I know the difference between right and wrong, and I know all about spin. That Playboy photo shoot I did was to show the world I didn’t have an eating disorder. I ate doughnuts for two weeks before I let anyone near me with a camera.’
She swallowed and waited for a response. He gave none, just looked at her, unmoved.
‘What I’m trying to say is, this is murder and helping people that blow other people up for God knows what cause. I don’t want her press-releasing her way out of it. She should be made to pay just like anyone else, regardless of her position,’ she concluded.
He looked back at her, his expression unreadable. She watched the rise and fall of his chest, still waiting for his response. He opened his mouth and finally spoke.
‘Wear shoes you can run in.’
Twenty-Two
‘Are you angry with Nathan?’ Autumn spoke later.
Tawanda was brushing her hair again. Autumn had had the services of all the top London hairdressers at her disposal, but she had never had her hair brushed quite so much. Usually, she hated the fussing and pinning and hairspraying, but with Tawanda, it was different. The brushstrokes felt almost therapeutic. Plus it was the only time the woman was really quiet, apart from the humming.
‘Angry with Mr Nathan? No, not angry. Maybe a little frustrated,’ she responded on a down stroke.
‘What did you mean when you said his decisions shouldn’t be based on his own desire for revenge?’
Tawanda laid the brush down on the sofa. The humming ceased. ‘Did I say that?’ she queried.
‘Something close.’
‘It is not for me to tell you, child.’
‘Is it something to do with Marie?’
‘What do you know about Marie?’ Tawanda snapped, her eyes darkening.
‘He has the name tattooed on his arm. Who is she? Is it his wife? Is he married?’
As soon as she asked, she knew what she wanted the answer to be. She wanted Tawanda to tell her no, he wasn’t married. And she wanted her to tell her that because, despite everything that was going on around her, whenever she looked at him now, she wanted him. It was just a sexual thing. He was a physically perfect specimen beneath the poor clothing, and she was just reacting as nature intended.
‘It is not for me to tell you. That is Mr Nathan’s choice,’ Tawanda responded.
What sort of answer was that? Did it mean yes or no? Whoever this Marie was, wife or not, no one seemed to want to talk about her. Why was that?
‘Well, I’m about to go to dinner with the woman who’s trying to have me kidnapped, so a bit of background would be nice, seeing as I’m supposed to be putting all my faith in him,’ Autumn told her.
That statement wasn’t true. She did trust Nathan, but she wanted—no she needed—to know what this Marie had to do with everything. It shouldn’t be so important, but somehow, it was. Despite the high-stakes situation, if he was married, she would have to turn those feelings off. Perhaps that was why he had ended their kiss.
‘It is not for me to say,’ Tawanda repeated.
‘But you know.’
‘Miss Autumn, you don’t need to know about Mr Nathan’s past to know whether you trust him or not. Take him at face value. What do you see?’
‘So, she’s in his past, not his present,’ Autumn said, gladness coating her tone.
‘Mr Nathan is a complicated man. He doesn’t behave like men you know. He lives by a different set of rules. He doesn’t know anything else.’ Tawanda picked up the hairbrush and recommenced her brushing routine.
‘He tells me the truth, I know that. Not a lot of people have done that in my life,’ Autumn said, turning so Tawanda could get to all her hair.
‘He tells you what you need to know. He is doing his job.’
‘He tells me what he can. I understand how things have to be. Whatever he doesn’t tell me, it’s because he can’t. It’s for my own security.’
‘What is it you really want to know?’
The woman touched her shoulder and turned her slightly until they were facing each other. Autumn shrugged and dropped her head to avoid looking into Tawanda’s eyes.
