‘Yes, I agree. Are you coming back to bed?’
‘We need to decide the best plan to end this, taking into account everyone’s interests.’
He acted disinterested and detached. She knew this would happen. He had almost opened up a little the previous night, almost let her catch a glimpse of who he was behind the career soldier. Now he was reverting back to type.
‘Coffee then?’ she suggested.
He let out a breath and crossed the room toward her. She straightened the duvet and hugged it up around her body. He sat down on the bed, stilled for a second, then took hold of her hand.
‘What happened last night, it was—’
‘Don’t say anything,’ Autumn interrupted, toying with his fingers.
‘I have to… I want to.’ There was a softness to his tone.
‘I know what you’re going to say, and you don’t need to. I wanted someone. So did you. We used each other, and we should be okay with that,’ Autumn said in a matter-of-fact manner.
His eyes connected with hers. ‘That wasn’t what I was going to say.’
Surprised, Autumn didn’t respond. He slowly stroked her fingers, and the sensation sent signals to places he’d touched the night before.
‘Men like me, Autumn, we live by a different set of rules. Last night shouldn’t have happened, but it did, and that’s where it has to end.’
Autumn agreed with a nod. ‘That’s what I was trying to say. You just worded it differently. It was just a physical thing, that’s all.’
‘No, you see, that’s what I’m trying to get out here, and I’m doing a fucking shit job of it.’ Nathan put his hands to his head.
‘I don’t understand,’ Autumn said, tilting her head and looking puzzled.
*
No, she couldn’t understand. Did he really want to even go down this road? What was the point of telling her? If she was okay with the one-night physical thing, shouldn’t he leave it alone? Why did he want to complicate things by telling her otherwise? The answer to that was simple, because of last night. Last night, she had brought out in him something he had thought lost forever. Emotion. Deep, intense, soul-burning emotion. The sex had been hot and fast, on the beach, and again in his bed, but then he’d held her and kissed every part of her with feeling, with his heart. It was a sensation he hadn’t experienced since losing his wife. It scared him. Just knowing he felt that way compromised this operation. He couldn’t keep Autumn safe if he felt that way about her. He’d miss something. His focus would be blurred around the edges, and he’d lose her, just like he’d lost his wife.
*
‘Talk to me,’ Autumn begged, frowning at the expression on Nathan’s face.
He faced her then whispered, ‘I can’t.’
‘Nathan, please, give me something here.’
He headed for the door. ‘I’ll make some coffee then we’ll speak with your mother and Tawanda, decide what to do.’
She watched him leave and sank back into the pillows of his bed. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes.
Last night, when he’d held her, she could have died, right there and then, and been happy. She’d never been made love to like that before. It was raw and passionate, but more than that, it was tender, and she had cried. When she’d hit the top of the rollercoaster, that moment before the rails fell away, she’d burst into tears, and he’d looked into her eyes as she came apart, and he’d held her tight to him and whispered you’re beautiful.
She didn’t want to get out of bed. If she did, she would leave behind the pleasure of the night and have to face the reality of the day. Her reality used to be visiting the recording studio and picking out a new collection of clothes. Now, it was kidnap threats and terrorism. So much had changed in just a few days.
*
‘I made coffee and two types of tea,’ Tawanda said then made a face at Alison in the lounge.
Nathan took a cup from the work surface. ‘Thanks, Tawanda,’ he responded.
‘Things are more serious now, yes?’ Tawanda remarked.
‘We need to make a decision about how we want this to go. I have an idea but… I don’t know if I can do it,’ Nathan told her.
‘I was talking about Miss Autumn. Her bed wasn’t slept in, and I was kept awake quite late into the morning.’ Tawanda’s eyes widened at him.
Nathan poured coffee into his cup. ‘That’s my business.’
Tawanda shook her head and busied herself, chopping fruit for a salad.
‘I know what you’re thinking, but it isn’t like that. I won’t hurt her,’ he insisted.
‘Damage is already done.’
Nathan turned away and made his way into the lounge. Alison looked like she hadn’t slept much, and her cocktail dress, as well as being creased, looked entirely inappropriate for a Michigan morning.
‘Morning,’ he greeted as he sat down on the sofa.
‘Good morning,’ Alison replied. ‘Have you seen Autumn this morning? How is she?’
‘Yeah, she’s all right, you know, considering the news yesterday,’ he responded.
She toyed with the hem of her dress. ‘I’ve not been able to sleep. I wish I’d never agreed to get involved with this.’
‘I don’t suppose Section 7 gave you a lot of choice,’ Nathan remarked.
She met his gaze and shook her head. ‘No one gave me any choice.’
*
Autumn could hear them talking as she stood outside the door. Her mother—what was she supposed to make of her now? Did she believe this new version of events that painted the politician as someone using the terrorists and somehow expertly playing them at their own game? Or did she have another agenda entirely? Was this about money? Did she really care for Autumn? How could she work it all out?
When she heard Tawanda call that breakfast was on the table, she pushed open the door, entered the room and headed for the kitchen without glancing at her mother or Nathan.
‘Morning,’ she greeted
