Inch by inch, in slow motion, she turned her body away from the table, her eyes closed. The scent of the lily and the fragrance of the ocean had been interspersed with something else, another smell that was etched in her memory. She opened her eyes in one quick movement, and there he was, Nathan, just a few yards away from her.
*
He took a step forward and watched her fall to the ground, scuttling backwards on the sand to grab hold of a chair. She looked completely terrified, and he couldn’t blame her. She’d believed he was dead, and here he was, very much alive, turning up out of the blue without any warning, giving her no time to process or even count to five.
He watched her scramble to her feet again, counting up her fingers, and his heart swelled as all the feelings he’d tried to deny flooded through him. He’d been wrong. He’d been so fucking wrong.
*
She ran to him, crossed the distance between them, and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him close, wanting there to be no space to divide them, not even air.
‘I can’t believe… I can’t… you’re alive,’ Autumn stated, kissing his cheeks, holding his face in her hands, her fingers moving over every inch.
‘Yeah, like Jesus, me, back from the dead,’ Nathan responded with half a smile.
‘Oh, Nathan, I can’t believe you’re here! You’re real. This is real. I just can’t…’ Autumn’s tears flowed thick and fast.
‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered, taking her face in his hands and looking into her eyes.
‘Why are you sorry? I’ve dreamed about this, every night, dreamed you were still alive, longed for you. You don’t know how much I’ve longed for you.’ Autumn smiled at him, touched his face as if to check he was really flesh and bone and not a hologram.
She’d never felt anguish and joy culminating together before. It was the most overwhelming feeling. Her body didn’t quite know how to respond. The tears fell, her heart palpitated, and her stomach flipped like playing cards being dealt. She was a wreck.
‘I wasn’t going to come back,’ he stated.
‘What?’
Suddenly, all the emotion stopped bombarding her senses, and she stilled. What had he said? What did that mean?
‘I’ve been an idiot, Autumn, such a prick. I thought staying away was the best thing for you. I know you deserve so much better than me, and we got too close. I got too close and—’
‘I don’t understand,’ she managed to speak, the words tripping out of her shaking lips.
‘I pretty much died in that warehouse, but that soldier kept up the CPR until the paramedics turned up and saved me. Then I had a visit from Section 7. As soon as I was fit enough, they wanted me and a team to finish As-Wana, find their leader, their base, and destroy all their operatives. So, two weeks later, that’s exactly what we did.’
‘But you don’t trust Section 7. They lied to you. You told me that.’
‘I didn’t do it for them. I did it for you. Those bastards beat and degraded you. I needed revenge for that.’
‘And then? Where have you been since then? Why didn’t you call me? I was in pieces, Nathan, broken apart, grieving for you, and you were… You were what?’
‘I heard what you did at the IMAs, the donation, how you spoke about me. And the award, Autumn. You won an award,’ he said, pride coating his tone.
‘I didn’t care about the award. I would have given everything I owned away for one more minute with you, but you were what? Hiding?’
‘Yes, if you like,’ he agreed with a sigh.
‘You sent Tyler, to look after me. Why? Why didn’t you come back? I told you I loved you. We talked about a future.’
‘Tyler’s good at what he does, and he’s younger than me, about your age. I reckon he knows what knife and fork to use, too,’ Nathan responded.
‘You tried to palm me off with some sort of replacement! How dare you!’ Autumn screamed.
She went to hit him then, with all the force she could muster, but before she could land the blow, he caught her hand.
*
He’d rehearsed what he wanted to say so many times, but now, he was here, now, she was standing in front of him, this beautiful woman who had blossomed and grown and changed so much since they first met. All the well-practiced words were failing him. He had to make this right. He had to be truly honest with her. For the first time since he lost his family, he had to unfasten the Kevlar wrapped around his heart and bare his soul.
*
‘Yeah, I hoped you’d fall for Tyler. Handsome bloke, strong, can protect you, smart, too. Half of me wanted it to happen because I thought he’d make you happier than I ever could,’ he began.
Autumn let out a sob and put both her hands to her mouth. Did he really think she was that fickle? She’d never told any man she loved him before, but she’d told him, and what? Hadn’t he believed her?
‘But that was a fucking stupid idea,’ he continued. ‘I couldn’t stop thinking about you, couldn’t stop thinking about him with you, and every time we made contact, nothing changed. You were eating a little bit more, but you weren’t noticing Tyler, and you spent most of your time walking around with a photo of me.’
Her eyes were still discarding tears at a rapid rate, and she almost couldn’t see anything. From the ultimate high of him being alive, she was dropping down into a cold, dark pit.
‘Before I fell unconscious, I was still doing my job. I made sure I thanked everyone, tried to make situations right for the future, but I forgot someone.’
‘Me?’ Autumn guessed.
‘No, me. While I
