He stopped in front of her and slid his sunglasses to rest on top of his head. His eyes were agonized as he looked at her.
“Cassie,” he breathed, her name a benediction. He swallowed, cleared his throat and started to say something but also looked as if he were waiting for some kind of acknowledgment from her.
“You’re tall,” she muttered. Why did she start with that? Must be the nerves.
His somber eyes twinkled briefly at her comment. He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels. “Told you I was.”
She nodded and stared, dumbfounded. She knew she had a lot to say to him. They’d never talked about what happened. Shouldn’t she be screaming at him and telling him to get lost? Yeah, she’d do that. She just needed to work up to that point.
“I, um… Can I come in?”
“Er, sure.” She nodded as she started to turn and then gasped when Ian reached out for the box. Their fingertips touched, his lingering before pulling the box from her grasp.
She dug out her keys as she walked to the door with him following closely behind. Her heart was racing and now she was breathing much too fast. If she didn’t slow it down, she’d pass out. They walked in, and she turned on the lights while he set her stuff on the table. He glanced around, taking in their surroundings, then took a deep breath as he faced her. She felt like a feeble kitten standing in front of a vicious Rottweiler. Helpless as his gaze zeroed in on her. Oh he didn’t look ferocious. Far from it. He looked almost as bad as she did. The only reason she looked worse was because she’d just recently bawled like a baby over losing her job. Losing him.
And now he was standing in her living room.
“I’m sorry,” he said, shutting his eyes. She shook her head and stepped away from him. She didn’t know if she could have this conversation in person. He followed her. “I know it doesn’t even begin to make up for the damage and pain I caused you.”
She turned on him then. “Why?” she barked. “Why did you do this to me? Why didn’t you tell me?”
He raised his hands in a playacting gesture. “You have every right to be mad—”
“Don’t you fucking patronize me!” She advanced on him, poking her finger in his chest. “You came all the way out here to speak your mind, so you better start. You don’t get to tell me what I do and don’t have a right to feel.”
He grabbed her wrists and yanked her up against his chest to stop her assault. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I fucked up big time. I was ordered to do that consolidation report, to pump you for information and to keep quiet about it. I used you, and I hated it. I’m sorry.”
She pulled her arms free, stepping away from him. It was hard enough looking at him. She couldn’t deal with his touch. She’d fantasized about those hands caressing her, wondering what they’d feel like on her skin. Now she knew the soft yet calloused feel. She seared that experience into her brain and knew she’d always remember how hot his hands felt on her body. Had he not tortured her enough already?
“What are you doing here?” she asked, folding her arms across her chest. She would not cry. She would not cry. She would not cry. If she told herself that enough times, maybe the tears welling in her eyes would just evaporate.
He stepped up to her and rubbed his hand down the length of her arm. Damn him! Why was he touching her? God, it felt so good. Her breath caught in an effort to stave off any crying she was about to do. He leaned in, his head resting on the side of her head, his lips by her ear.
“I love you,” he whispered.
She shook her head in denial and tried pushing him away. He grabbed both her arms and held her tightly against him.
“Don’t push me away, Cassie. Please just let me get this out. Then if you want me to leave, I will.”
He rubbed his head in her hair. She trembled. He was everywhere, pressed against her, breathing on her. She’d never forget any of this. She couldn’t believe he felt about her the way she felt about him. It wasn’t possible. He just felt guilty. His arms wrapped around her, one hand fisting in her hair as he groaned into her ear. Her knees buckled and his hold tightened.
“I’ve got you,” he said softly, meaning he’d stopped her from falling, but then he repeated it over and over again, the meaning clearly changing.
“Ian…” She didn’t know what to say. She shouldn’t let him touch her like this.
His lips found the sensitive spot below her ear, and she was a goner. The hurt he’d caused didn’t matter anymore. She’d been more intimate with this man than she’d ever been with any other. Without ever having touched him. She couldn’t fight the need boiling inside her now. This contact was all she’d ever dreamed about, and after everything that’d happened between them, she at least wanted this dream fulfilled.
She moaned as his lips caressed the column of her neck, and he took that as an invitation. His hands tangled in her hair, and his mouth crashed onto hers. Her surprised gasp gave him direct access to the wet heat he sought. His tongue plundered, exploring every crevice and dueling with hers. Ian was kissing her. She’d lain awake at night and visualized what this would be like.
She never dreamed it’d be this good.
She pulled away to breathe, and he kissed and nipped at her
