The usually quiet Keith raised his hand. Mel stopped speaking and looked his way.
“Some people need physical exertion. The need to punch something. We could use that gym downstairs to release the pent-up anger and energy.”
Mel nodded. “That’s a great idea Keith. Thank you.”
She continued. “Other things we can do, are write things down in a journal, go find a quiet place for contemplation or prayer, or if needed get something from the clinic to help you deal with things. I found that it takes a bit of all these things...”
She thought about it for a second, then nodded as if she had made a decision.
“One of the best strategies for dealing with grief, is sharing it.” She looked at John. Her husband was astute enough to know she was about to open up to the group.
“John and I have been together for fifteen years. We got through some pretty dark times together.” Her expression turned melancholy. John stared intently at his wife as she continued.
“We both have military backgrounds. John was the ultimate warrior.” She smiled. “What a body!” A couple of the other women smiled in agreement.
“John loved his job. Imagine when something is such a huge part of your life. And then it gets ripped away from you.” John’s face was devoid of emotion, but he rubbed his lower arm, where the prosthetic met real flesh.
“I will not tell you what happened. That is for John to share, or not share. What I can tell you is that it took a lot of time. It took anger, and tears, and even medications. But we had to get over it. This could break you as a person, but it could also break your relationship. It was sink of swim for us.”
She smiled towards her husband. “We did more than swim. We flew.” She declared.
Mel smiled, then her expression become poignant. She faced the group again. “As it turned out, that was just a test for us. We had another test coming.” She paused for a moment. She was deeply troubled. John was tense. He looked ready to leap out of his seat and run to her. She locked eyes with her husband and continued.
“You see, five years ago, we got pregnant.” Her smile was bittersweet. “This was like the gift that we needed, to help put all other tragedies behind us.”
She shook her head slightly and genuinely smiled.
“We were like a typical couple expecting their first child. John pretty much wanted to bubble wrap me to keep me from getting hurt. We changed our entire lifestyles! We were so paranoid, that we were at the doctor’s all the time.” She looked up at the group and grinned. “Heck, we started buying baby things and diapers during the first trimester! One room in our basement was floor to ceiling diapers and wet wipes and baby outfits!” Nancy and Rachel both laughed at this, having had similar experiences. The sound of their airy, genial laughter was musical.
Mel’s smile slowly faded though. John was on the edge of his seat, his urgent need to protect his wife apparent to all. Mel continued after the last echo of laughter was gone.
“I was almost eight months along, when I went into labour. This was something we were told to prepare for, due to some genetic dispositions. We were prepared and did everything we were supposed to.” Mel shuddered and was silent for several seconds. “In the end it didn’t matter. Our baby didn’t survive childbirth.” Mel took a shuddering breath after forcing it out.
The cafeteria was silent.
“We went through our own personal hell then. You know all those stages of grieving? Denial, anger and all that? Well we went through them all. It was ... tough.” A single tear rolled down her cheek. “The toughest...”
She swallowed and wiped her eyes. Nobody made a noise. She looked up at the crowd and continued. “But we didn’t let it destroy our lives. In the end, it made us stronger.” She smiled at John and he smiled back. “We depended on each other and got through it. When one was weak, the other was the rock! We didn’t give up on life.”
“And now I’ve shared this grief. And it’s just a little bit easier.” She nodded to herself, then looked at the group. The room was quiet for a long moment.
“Wow. You are so right.” Craig stated from where he was sitting. He had his arm around Sarah and was holding her tight. “I was all focused on the little things when we had this huge elephant in the room. Thank you, Mel.”
There was a murmur as just about everybody seemed to agree.
Except Claire.
Claire got up from her seat. She was visibly shaking.
“I ... I don’t...” She looked around in panic and without another word she rushed out of the room.
“Somebody go after her!” Mel said.
Nancy and Shelley immediately stood up and started moving off. Sarah was close behind them.
“I’m coming.” Maria said and followed the women. Shelley had seen Claire flee up the stairs, and the foursome followed.
Once they were upstairs, they could hear Claire in the far room to their right. They walked down the hall and gathered at the door. Claire was standing near the window, facing outward into the sun. There was no doubt that if she could have run further away, she would have done so.
Nancy took the lead and slowly walked in. Her movement smooth and measured, as if to keep from startling Claire. She found a chair about six feet from Claire and carefully lowered herself.
Claire turned. Her hand covered her mouth, so only her eyes were visible.
“We just want to make sure you’re ok, Claire.” Nancy assured her. “Look, I know you have gone through a terrible time. We want you to know that we are here for you.”
Claire slowly lowered her hand from covering her mouth, and let it
