Keith ran back into the street to find the zombie struggling to get up. He was facing away, which was something Keith was thankful for. He stepped up behind the crouched figure, lifted the object over his head, and smashed it down as hard as he could.
Garden gnome one, zombies zero.
The car alarm continued to blare, and it was attracting more attention. Several shapes were moving in the distance, as well as another one nearby.
Maybe I should try lying low instead.
He ran to his house and was almost at his door when another zombie appeared, stepping out from between two houses. Keith rushed inside, closed the door, and looked out through the spyhole. Sure enough, the zombie was making a beeline for his house.
Keith ran through his house to his spare bedroom. He needed a weapon. He picked up the bokken from its stand.
“UH, KEITH?” ETHAN INTERRUPTED. The young man had a confused look on his face. Keith knew exactly what his question was.
“A bokken is like a katana,” Keith said. “It’s a sword. But it’s made of wood.”
“Right.” Ethan smiled. “Hey, you probably wished you had a real sword.”
“You have no idea, but you will. Let me continue the story.”
That day, he had hefted the wooden sword but had no time to appreciate the weapon, as somebody began pounding on his front door. The red oaken weapon felt solid in Keith’s hand, and he stepped back into the hallway full of confidence.
Keith walked to the door, which was rocking from the blows. He pondered the situation for a second. He couldn’t swing the bokken in his hallway — not enough room. He needed more space. He needed to get outside.
Keith turned and ran to the sliding door in his kitchen that led to the deck and the back yard. He stepped outside after making sure there were no zombies lurking there. Then he ran around the house and again into his front yard.
Not one but two zombies were pounding on his door. A male and a female. The door looked ready to give as the zombies threw their weight against it.
Before Keith could do anything, the door crashed inward.
He took a quick step forward to get a better view. The male zombie had fallen in with the door and was crawling inside. The female was still on her feet but outside. Keith had to get their attention, otherwise he would be forced to follow them in.
“Go ahead. Make my day,” Keith called out in his worst impression to date.
“UH, KEITH?”
The query and a couple of guffaws brought him back to the present.
“Damnit, Ethan! Sudden Impact? ... Samson himself — ah, never mind you wouldn’t get that. ... Clint Eastwood?”
“Who is that?”
“Ugh. Today’s youth. Where was I?”
“Go ahead. Make my day,” Ethan helpfully told him.
Keith continued his story after a sharp look at his pupil.
He had managed to get the zombie’s attention with his challenge. The female seemed to be in her mid-fifties. She had big hair. That was one thing Keith noticed about her as she lumbered towards him. The other thing he noticed was that she was quicker than the other zombies he’d encountered.
Nevertheless, Keith fell into his stance and executed a flawless set of swings. The bokken was a blur as he struck the woman three times in quick succession.
Except the result should have been a crumpled victim on the ground at his feet, yet he found himself on his back, wrestling with the zombie. Making a wild grab, she had torn Keith’s shirt, cutting his chest with a gaudy ring.
What was worse, out of the corner of his eye he could see the second zombie approaching. He rolled and got himself untangled from the big-haired zombie but had to release his bokken to her grip.
Keith sprang to his feet and dodged the second zombie, tripping him on his way past. He ran into his house, making loud cracking sounds when he stepped on the door.
He ran through the living room and kitchen looking for a weapon. There just wasn’t anything useful. Just then he heard the telltale cracking as the first zombie stepped on his door. Keith escaped to his bedroom.
What the heck was I thinking? The bedroom? The thought came too little, too late as Keith pulled the door shut behind him. Then he saw it.
His toolbelt. His hammers.
Keith knew how to wield those things. He was always toying with them on breaks at work, showing off his martial arts skills to his crew.
He slipped on the toolbelt and it just felt right. Keith pulled a hammer out and opened the door. He silently walked down the small hallway to the living room — and came face to face with a zombie as he stepped around the corner. The zombie lurched forward, trying to bite Keith. But Keith was faster. He leaned back, and the zombie’s momentum carried him forward to collide face first with the wall. Keith used his advantage to drive his hammer into the back of his opponent’s head, claw first. A spray of blood and other liquid shot out past the hammer and soaked his arms. The hammer stuck fast as the zombie slid down the wall. Keith gave it a tug, but it was stuck.
He still had his other hammer, though. It was a framing hammer. A bit bigger and heavier but without the claw for pulling nails.
“JEEZ. SPARE US THE lesson on hammers,” Nat said with a laugh.
“Yeah. Who do you think you are, the hammer whisperer?” Jack added. The rest of the group scolded the young man for that joke.
“Okay, Okay.” Jack put his hands up in surrender. “Sorry, Keith. Please go on.”
The second zombie was crawling across the door at the entry. It was the big-haired zombie. Keith stepped over her and raised his hammer. The zombie grabbed Keith’s ankle, but the hammer was already coming down. It took two hits with blunt force to break the skull.
Keith had
