Michelle nodded enthusiastically. Abi focused on the steak in front of her and chewed in silence.
John sighed out loud. Everybody turned to the ex-soldier, as he obviously had something on his mind.
“I’m grateful — but I don’t really understand.” He turned to Tammy, the need for answers plain on his face. “Why did she pick us? Surely they knew other people better than us?”
Tammy smiled at John. The dark-haired, blue-eyed beauty was oblivious to the effect her smile had on the men around the table. Unperturbed, she replied, “It’s OK, John. Nobody at this table is going to hold resentment against you for getting picked.”
John shook his head. “Jeffersons... I’ve been thinking about that since yesterday, but that name just doesn’t ring any bells.”
“Nevertheless, they knew you. And Maddie must have heard of you. My guess is that it has something to do with your time in the armed forces.” Tammy reached for the diary. “No use trying to figure that out now. There is more in here, although nothing about who they chose. It could be that they couldn’t really decide at the end anyway. The only reference as to why they picked certain people was that they felt they owed them a debt of gratitude.”
People around the table started muttering and talking among themselves, trying to make sense of it all. The conversation was short-lived, and John asked, “Is there anything else in the diary, Tammy?
“Yes.” She found a page. “Maddie’s second-to-last entry is very short.”
She read it:
I can’t reach Pedro. There is no answer to my calls and texts. I snuck out and drove to his place last night. He’s gone. I think somebody saw me at his place. I’m scared.
Tammy looked around the table. “I fear that Maddie was right. Pedro never made it back here, as was evidenced by the note we found. I wonder if Maddie herself is safe.”
Abi shrugged. “No offense, Michelle, but I don’t really care. My parents are probably dead. And my brother too. He’d just had a child with his wife, too.” She struggled with her emotions for a second. “Maddie might have saved a few people, but she didn’t save them.” She stood up suddenly. “S-sorry. I just need to be on my own for a bit.” She grabbed a water bottle and headed out the front door.
BB stood next. He grabbed another water bottle and a couple of apples and walked out without a word. John looked on with concern but stayed in his seat. He turned to Michelle.
“Just give her some time. It’s tough. She’s trying to deal with this.”
Michelle nodded with a sad smile.
The group ate their dessert in silence. Afterwards, Tammy asked for their attention one more time.
“I forgot to mention that Maddie wrote about her encounter with Q.”
Several folks raised their eyebrows at this.
“It was shortly after Pedro’s last call. Maddie had pretty much given up on saving any more lives. She wrote that she was feeling confused and depressed. She was worried about Pedro and couldn’t decide if she was going to run away or stay with her parents. All the apples had been harvested, but Maddie decided to scour the orchard one last time for any fruit that had been overlooked. She had gathered a handful of apples in a basket and had to run into the house to use the bathroom. She left the basket by a tree as she didn’t want to raise any suspicion with her parents. When she got back out to her basket, she found Q. She wrote that she had urged Q to take all of the apples and to make sure his family got some.” Tammy gave her head a rueful shake. “We all know how that turned out.”
The last thing Tammy shared with the group was about the feelings Maddie had towards the Rosae Crucis by the end. She described how the young woman was filled with regrets, and how she anguished about the fate of normal people — the people she knew and the ones she didn’t. She described watching TV and seeing her favorite sitcom:
I know these people are actors. I know the personalities they portray are fake. But then again, I also know that these are real people, and those characters are written by other real people — possibly based on yet again other real people. Is it fair that they all perish? That they all should die?
Brenin calls the establishment a vile, corrupt vehicle of enslavement. The people I watched on TV do not strike me as slaves. Brenin says that the ones in power are monsters, but is Brenin himself not a monster for what he has set in motion?
I tried to talk to Mom and Dad about it. They have now admitted that something is going on. “Something has started,” Dad said. He did not say whether it was something wonderful or something terrible. I questioned some of the new edicts that Brenin has proclaimed. I asked them why we shouldn’t question his new rules. I still remember my words, as I had practiced them: “For is it not the Rosae Crucis way to always question, to seek knowledge and by doing so gain enlightenment?”
Mom looked at me as if I were on fire, and Dad jumped off the couch and raised his hand as if to strike me. He froze with his hand still raised above me. He seemed to regret his actions immediately.
“Maddie...” he said, slowly lowering his hand to his side. But the damage was done for me. He would not be changing his ways. He forbade me to ever talk that way again. He said that we would be leaving soon, to go stay with many people of the Order. He said talk like that would get all of us in trouble.
I ran up here and wrote this down. I’m not sure why, as I doubt anybody will find this diary. But I guess that maybe writing this down confirms my
