After we had both had a few drinks and an awkward dinner, I still couldn’t get rid of him. I went to my nephew Shawn’s room and told him, “Shawn, you got to come help me figure this out.” I had just met this guy, and he was drunk off his ass! I was thinking to myself, We’re not going anywhere with this; it’s not going to work. So Shawn made up an excuse for me and got me out.
The very next day Luis’s assistant showed up to my door with a spectacular Bulgari diamond necklace (diamonds aren’t my best friend, but we’re close). I was surprised—and yes, impressed—but in the back of my mind I was also thinking, What, does he just keep a bunch of diamond necklaces nearby in case he meets a girl? I know they have jewelry stores in Aspen, but I also knew to be cautious: he’d dated Daisy Fuentes, Salma Hayek—all of these incredibly beautiful and famous Latin women. I soon learned that was his way; he was an authentic, over-the-top Latin lover, for real.
Luis was exciting and extravagant. We were both Aries, and we vibed energetically. He was incredibly romantic and spontaneous. We would go on adventures: ditch security and go for a ride, or pick up and go to Mexico City. He had a phenomenal house on a piece of pristine Acapulco beach, with real pink flamingos! His mansion was majestic, with dramatic carved wooden doors and porches and balconies everywhere. He would often have a full mariachi band serenading us while we had dinner outside on a warm Mexican evening. One of my favorite things to do was jump off the master-bedroom balcony with my beloved dog, Jack, into the sparkling pool below. (Me and Jack were the only ones who didn’t speak Spanish, which wasn’t always easy.) His staff was so devoted to him; he was like a god to them. Luis was beloved and cherished by all his people.
One time I teased him for not having a hot tub (I got a pip penthouse with a sick hot tub / We can watch the flat screen while the bubbles filling up). So what did he do? He surprised me for Christmas with an entire planetarium-style hot tub that you can swim into! We threw a fabulous New Year’s Eve party there, going from 1999 to 2000, with the hot tub grotto as a main attraction. Luis didn’t hold back in his material displays of adoration. Once, he filled an entire private jet with red roses to surprise me. His dramatic romantic gestures spoke to the eternally twelve girl in me, because they really were like something you saw in the movies.
It was all grand and exciting, but it was far from perfect. For one thing, our relationship was characterized by culture clash. Though we were both young and successful, he was a lot stodgier than me. Our friends were total opposites. His were more conservative, serious and uptight and boring, while I’d have Brat, Tots, Trey, and whoever popping all around. What was more difficult were the cultural gaps between us when it came to race. He would always insist that he didn’t see me as Black. We’d have these arguments, and I’d explain, “No, when your dad is Black, it makes you Black, so you’re going to have to accept that about me.” But in his mind, if I didn’t look Black, I wasn’t. For him it was simply skin deep. It was too difficult to explain that for Americans, it’s much more complicated. I think for him, easier was better.
Though we made an effervescent couple, it’s always hard to live and love in the limelight. He may have been the Elvis of the Spanish-speaking world, but when he came to the United States, no offense, but for the most part I was the “star of the show.” He’d been through a lot and lost his mother at a very young age. From what I’d been told, his father was very difficult and controlling. I tried my best to support him emotionally, but I was going through my own shit, and it got to a point where I could no longer deal with it. We were not helping each other heal. At his best Luis was generous, spontaneous, and passionate, but at his worst he was erratic and anxious, and had a dark cloud hanging over his head.
After three years, I knew it was time for us to part ways. We had a good run, and I still have fond memories, but ultimately, he wasn’t the one.
As the great Cole Porter wrote, “It was great fun / but it was just one of those things.”
Okay, so it’s five am, and I still can’t sleep
Took some medicine, but it’s not working
Someone’s clinging to me, and it’s bittersweet
’Cause he’s head over heels, but it ain’t that deep
—“Crybaby”
THE EMANCIPATION OF ME
After Charmbracelet, circumstances forced me into a new place. I said to myself, I’m going to do what I want to do completely, and with that I began to work on my next album. I was going to do something from my heart, something empowering. In 2004, L.A. Reid became the CEO of Island Def Jam Music Group. I was so excited because we had always wanted to work together. He heard some of what I had been working on—“Stay the Night,” a song I wrote with Kanye West. He said, “If this is what you’re doing, I’m in!” One night L.A. and I were sitting in the Mermaid Room in my New York penthouse, talking about the essence of the album and how I felt it was going to be all about
