“I have a balcony and an entire wall of windows you can stargaze at.”
Her eyes shift to me and then over my shoulder, looking at the room.
“I’m going to take a shower, and if you’re up for it, I’d like you to stay tonight. Just be here with me.”
She meets my gaze. “You’ll wake me up when you get up so I can go back to my room?”
“If you want me to.”
She nods.
I press a kiss to her temple. “I’ll be right out.”
Under the hot spray of the shower, my thoughts clear as the memory of Chloe gripping the rail and standing in front of me replays in my mind. The glint of excitement, the way she bit her bottom lip with anticipation as her eyes had darkened and desire guided her. God, she was fucking beautiful—perfect. I shudder, my cock strained and desperate for her again. I turn the water to cold.
She was a virgin.
Regardless of how big of a deal this feels to me, I know it’s an even bigger deal to her.
I dry off before wrapping the plush towel around my waist, finding Chloe in a chair she moved beside the window. I grab a pair of underwear and drop my towel, pulling them on as I ask, “What made you decide to study astronomy?”
She turns, her gaze crossing over my torso and the rest of my body. She swallows. I would high five myself if she weren’t here to witness it, relieved I affect her in the same fucking manner she does me each time I see her. “I’ve always been mesmerized by the sky—the moon, the sun, the stars, how our planet can provide so many things for us…” She shakes her head. “I’ve always been kind of a geek for it, and when I was thirteen, my grandparents sent me to space camp as my Christmas present, and I was hooked. I always thought I wanted to be an astronaut before that, but then I learned about the complexity of space and astronomy and how many big questions are linked to it and how many things we’ve learned from space that have bettered our lives, and it kind of snowballed for me.”
I move to stand behind her. “Your geek side is fucking hot,” I tell her.
She laughs, her cheeks tinting pink. “Speaking of sides, I didn’t know which side of the bed you prefer…”
I’ve never had sides. “Sleep wherever you want,” I tell her.
She unfolds her legs and stands. I focus on remembering the icy cold water of my shower, trying to calm myself down so I don’t reach for her and slip off her shorts and tee to have her naked and at my mercy within seconds. I fight the idea of her on her back, legs spread, and bared to me as I drive her to climax again. Two years of temptation and lust have been built, and now that the dam has been broken, it seems impossible to contain.
Her thigh brushes against my fingertips as she passes me, leaving the fresh scent of citrus and floral as she moves to the bed.
I grab the remote from the nightstand and close the shades and turn off the lights, loving the sight of her in my bed. “Can I ask you a personal question?” I ask, reaching for her as I slip beneath the sheet.
“Why was I still a virgin?” she asks.
“I saw you make out with Lincoln Beckett freshman year, and I’m not shaming you, I just … you caught me by surprise.”
“I prefer to pretend that night never happened.”
Thank-fucking-God. “Why?”
“Because I saw your hand up some chick’s skirt, and it made me so jealous, I nearly cashed in my V-card that night.”
Guilt binds around my lungs, making it difficult to think as I work to recall further details of that night, but try as I might, the only thing I remember is hating my teammate and Chloe for kissing him. “I’ve done a lot of things I regret.”
She shakes her head. “Regret is wasted energy, and some of the most beautiful and amazing things come from mistakes.”
“So you didn’t sleep with anyone that night?”
“I almost did … but it just didn’t feel right.” She sighs. “I don’t know how to explain it. I never wanted the moment to be planned or to have it be a big production because it seemed that would make it all feel orchestrated, and the entire carnal desire and lust and everything would be a calculation—a plan—and I feel like my entire life is filled with calculations and rules and plans. This was one thing I just didn’t want to make rules for. And then there was this incident where I suggested to someone I was dating that we do something in the back of his truck when we were out camping with some friends, and his reaction made me feel so dirty, like there was something wrong with me.”
Her words create a puzzle that seems comprised of different pieces, all evoking distinctive emotions: jealously, relief, intrigue, confusion, and so much desire I can barely think past the haze of lust that’s settled across me like a fucking fog. “What a fucking idiot.” I slip my hand under her shirt and grip the soft skin of her hip. I want to taste her again, feel her against me, see her fully exposed, but I have little doubt she’s sore, so instead, I pull her closer, evoking another giggle from her as she turns so her back is to my front. I nuzzle against her bare neck, trying to understand how this can feel so utterly perfect when nothing about it is anything I’ve ever wanted.
19
Tyler
I button my suit jacket and straighten my tie.
Most say I look like my dad, but my hair is from my mum, and my height is from her side as well. I was taller
