I place my hand over hers on my chest, hoping she can’t feel how fucking unsteady my heart is beating right now as I await her next words.
“He was a mistake, and I knew that, but Nessie and Cooper were starting to hang out, and I was feeling ridiculously desperate for someone—anyone—to pay attention to me, and I realized my mistake fast. I mean, the guy doesn’t eat anything but ground beef and carrots because the only thing he cares about is working out. And one night, he brought a BB gun when he wanted to hang out and started shooting at pigeons and seagulls, and rather than being smart and ending things, I kept listening to my friends from high school telling me how lucky I was that he liked me because, in high school everyone liked him.” She spreads her fingers so that mine fall between hers, and then she runs her thumb across mine. “We were the worst match. He hated every time I planned anything, and he saw everything I did as being uptight and boring, and I saw everything he did as juvenile and gross.
“He showed up one day while my parents were at work and Nessie was out, and to be honest, I wasn’t concerned, which almost scares me more, because I want to think I’ll know who I can trust and who I can’t. I invited him inside, offered him some pop, and suggested we watch a movie.” She bites the inside of her cheek as my teeth clench with a level of aggression that is foreign and unbridled as I paint a story in my head that involves my own personal brand of revenge for this fuckface.
“It didn’t get very far. Nessie got home and heard me yelling for help.”
My heart fucking stops, anger pulsing through me in waves.
“And then I accused you of wanting me to take you and then fucking swam up to you in the pool without a stitch of clothes on like a total wanker.”
She pulls her head back and rolls to sit up, her lips tipped toward the sky. “You were a cocky jerk, but you never tried to force yourself on me. There are entire galaxies that separate you and him, and not a single bit of that space has to do with your money. It’s about you wanting to help those less fortunate. It’s about watching you give up hanging out with us as we play and working toward your dream. It’s you knowing how I like my coffee and looking for us when we got lost in the desert. It’s for sending a car for me and having breakfast ordered for us every single morning. It’s for last year when my car was having trouble, and you came to get me to take me to class when Cooper couldn’t, and never expected anything in return. It’s for coming to Thanksgiving the past two years and never complaining about how bad our pies are.” She pauses to smile. “There’s nothing about you that is reflected in him, which is probably the only reason I wanted to like him because I’ve had a crush on you for so long, and I was trying so hard to get over it.”
I sit up beside her, brushing my thumb across her cheek, and she leans into my touch. “I want to be the man you deserve.”
“I feel the same way. I’m terrified that your world won’t accept me.”
I shake my head. “We make the rules,” I remind her.
She twists, landing a kiss on my outstretched palm. “I would never turn my back on you and try to screw you over. Even if we weren’t together, I wouldn’t do that. I know how much you mean to Cooper.”
“I know.” I lean back into the pillow. “I know you wouldn’t, that was me; my insecurities and always expecting the worst.” I remain still, trying to stop the mental image of another guy touching Chloe, forcing himself on her. “Will you tell me his name?”
Silence hangs in the air for several beats as I feel her lie down, the movement drawing my eyes open. She’s pensive, rubbing her lips together as she stares beyond me. “I don’t want vengeance. I want to just forget about it. I don’t even know why I brought it up. Nessie thinks I need to talk about it because it will help me get over it, but I don’t have anything to get over. I don’t want it to impact me. I want to move forward and never think about him or that day again.” Her nostrils flare as she slowly moves her gaze to meet mine. “Honestly, what bothers me most is the idea he’ll do it to someone else, and they might not have someone walk in to help them. That, and I really hate the idea of you thinking about it and it keeping you from wanting to touch me.”
I skim my fingers over her shoulder and down her arm, settling my hand on the valley of her waist.
She props her head on one hand, her elbow resting beside my shoulder. “I love when you lose control, and your hands are touching me with this level of desperation and need that makes me feel how badly you want me. I’m addicted to that feeling. I don’t want him to change that. I don’t want anything to change that.”
“I would pay for the entire lawsuit,” I tell her. “To make you, and others, feel safe. I would find you the best lawyers and put the weight of my family’s name into this.”
“I already know the laws. I looked them up because I didn’t want him to do it again, and Florida requires penetration for sexual assault crimes, and he didn’t make it that far. Nessie yelled, and it startled him, and then
