She holds me until sleep finally shows mercy on me and pulls me under its embrace.
* * *
The next morning, breakfast is delivered on carts that are filled with an assortment of foods including an entire mountain of chocolate filled croissants. I don’t touch any of them.
A man dressed in a suit stands at the door as they wheel the carts back into the elevator, and it takes me a moment to recognize him as the one who’d told Tyler his dad was here to speak with him yesterday. He struggles to make eye contact with me as he clears his throat. “Mr. Banks has a flight booked this afternoon for you all to fly to SeaTac, where a car will drive you home.” He withdraws a letter from his jacket. “The details for your flight are all included here. We’ll have someone up to pack for you all shortly.”
I head back to the bedroom before the elevator doors can close behind him. My hope that this was a mistake and that Tyler’s going to walk through the elevator is fading. I know he’s already on the other side of the Atlantic—I can feel his loss everywhere.
I glance at the clock, realizing I only have a few hours left in the city. I change quickly and grab the stack of money Tyler left and head back out to the living room.
“I’ll be back in an hour,” I tell them.
“Where are you going?” Nessie asks.
I sniffle as I shake my head. “I don’t know.”
She stands from her seat beside Cooper on the couch. The piece of furniture elicits another memory that cuts me as I realize it wasn’t even a full twenty-four hours ago that Tyler and I were right here in this room, and I told him I loved him.
I swallow down the rush of emotions and meet Nessie’s gaze. “Tyler left all this money for me to donate to a shelter or a charity. I have no idea what to do with it. I want to buy everyone in need of a pair of shoes and socks and food and...” I shake my head. “I just want to help.”
Nessie places a hand on my shoulder but doesn’t hug me, and I’m so grateful because I know if she were to wrap her arms around me, I’d crumble right now. “Why don’t we go talk to the concierge? Maybe they can find some contacts since we have to leave soon.”
I nod, appreciating her clear and decisive thoughts that help me formulate a plan. I pull in a deep breath and work to make a list of what we need to do, items that will help the most.
Nessie and I head down to the lobby, finding the concierge who we relay our intentions to. He nods patiently and then shakes his head, telling us he has no contacts or ideas.
His response feels like a bludgeon, destroying the plan I so desperately need to carry out, not only for my sanity, but because I still see the numerous individuals we passed who were trying to sleep on the lit streets for safety, regardless of the loud noises, bright lights, and constant traffic.
“I might be able to help you,” an employee says as she smiles at me. “Mr. Banks had asked me to do some research on shelters and nonprofits in the area who help the homeless community, and I was planning to send it up to you this afternoon.” She smiles at the concierge behind the desk. “May I?”
He moves to the side, watching as she clicks and taps several times before returning her gaze to us. “Let me print this up, and then I’ll share with you my findings.” She moves to the printer and then has us follow her into the lobby, where we sit at a small table, peering over the information as she explains the different services they each provide.
“If I leave some money with you, and how I want it allocated, are you able to send it to them?”
She nods. “Absolutely, Ms. Robinson.”
I take one of the hotel pens from my purse along with the stack of bills, carefully tearing off Tyler’s note and securing it in my wallet. I count through the cash twice before jotting down the increments and how I’d like them divided.
It’s a short plan, one that is too simple and too fast, but as we head back up to our hotel room, I feel a small sense of gratitude slip around the heartache that makes each of my breaths feel too shallow.
“What happened?” Nessie asks as we step into the suite. “Did you guys break up?”
I shake my head. I don’t think so. Maybe?
No. He said we’d figure it out.
Right?
My thoughts spin, and my heart clenches. It’s clear she knows Tyler’s gone. He would have run into Cooper yesterday when he came up to pack. Still, I understand her confusion. “His dad came and got him. They went back to London so he can start preparing to be his father’s successor.”
“Why didn’t you tell him to stay?”
“I couldn’t make him choose me any more than I could have asked you or Cooper to choose me. He loves this company. The history and legacy of it mean so much to him. I can’t take that from him.”
She shakes her head. “There has to be another way.
I brush away more tears. “We need to go. It’s time.”
Our seats on the flight bringing us back to Seattle are first class.
I’d prefer the noise and bustle from the economy seats because my thoughts are deafening as the past twenty-four hours and the past couple of weeks replay again and again. I’m desperate for something to drown them out.
The sensible side of me wants to contest my sadness, provide reason and fact for why I’m overreacting, reminding me that Tyler and I had only been together for a second in the grand scheme
