Kate stood still for a moment, unable to move. Something about that interaction rang a familiar tune. The slam of a door…the abrupt rejection of care…
“Looks like I’m nae the only one annoyed by ye, lass,” Manning said slowly. Then he shook his head and returned to peeling parsnips.
“I’m nae annoyed, especially nae with Katie,” Ian said. “But I must speak with ye, Manning.”
“I can go…” Kate said.
“Nae, ye have much work to do,” Ian said. “Manning. Please come with me.”
They exited the kitchen, and Kate felt a small pang of regret that Ian had left.
She finished cleaning the table and picked up the bucket to fetch more clean water. But when she reached the door, Ian’s and Manning’s voices came from the hallway.
“Lord, ye must understand, she doesna belong here. ’Tis clear as day.”
Ian sighed. “I ken that she doesna.”
Kate’s chest chilled.
“She will be gone when her memory comes back. She’s already started remembering something.”
So he wanted her to be gone. He didn’t want her to stay, did he?
“Aye. Good. The lass has these strange ways of doin’ things. I dinna like her meddling in my kitchen.”
“It won’t be for long. Be patient with her. She’s been through a lot.”
Yes, Ian only pitied her. All that care, all that kindness, it wasn’t because he liked her. It was because he had a good heart.
“Aye, lord. ’Tis hard, though, with her around.”
The bucket trembled in Kate’s hands.
“Manning, ye’ll manage. ’Tisna easy for her.”
Steps approached the kitchen and Kate put the bucket on the floor and returned to the table. She found the cloth and wiped the table without really knowing what she was doing. Her heart was like a raging wound. The pressure in her stomach increased.
Manning came into the kitchen, and without another word, proceeded into his attached room.
Kate exhaled. She didn’t think she could deal with him right now, knowing how much her presence was disturbing him. Ian came in, and something lightened in her heart.
“I—” he said.
She picked up the bucket again and went to the door. “I need to fetch water,” she said.
“Allow me.”
Ian moved to take the bucket from her hands. Their fingers touched briefly, sending a jolt of electricity through Kate. She jerked her hand back.
“Don’t worry, I’ll manage,” she said. “I’m perfectly capable.”
Ian glanced at her, puzzled. “Aye,” he said. “I am certain, ye are.”
She marched out of the house. Steps followed her, surprisingly.
She put the bucket on the stone wall of the well and turned to him.
“Listen, Ian, I really don’t want to inconvenience anyone, least of all you. You’ve been kind to me, and I don’t want to take any more of your patience. Just, please, tell me if you want me to go.”
He frowned. “What?”
“I don’t want to be a burden.”
His jaw tightened.
“Ye are nae a burden,” he said, his voice hard.
He definitely looked annoyed.
“Right,” she said and put the bucket onto the hook. “Manning doesn’t agree with you.”
He sighed. “Dinna fash yerself about Manning.”
“Easy for you to say.”
Ian rubbed his temples and closed his eyes.
“Look, lass, stop thinking about this over and over. I ken ye’re struggling, but I told ye I’m nae yer friend, and I canna always be making peace between ye and Manning.”
Kate lowered the bucket. It flopped into the water and she waited until it filled. She pulled it up. Everything he was saying—or rather, how he was saying it—confirmed her fears. He didn’t really want her here. He just pitied her. And now he was annoyed that she’d raised the subject over and over.
Lesson learned.
She wouldn’t raise it again.
In fact, she should leave as soon as possible and relieve them all of her company.
“Won’t happen again,” she said. “I promise.”
She pulled the bucket out and walked back to the kitchen. She didn’t yet know when or how she would leave, but she’d rather poke herself in the eye with a sharp stick than have him look at or talk to her with that tone again.
She cared about him too much to burden him even more with her problems.
Chapter 13
Ian went to the stables to tack up the horse and go out riding as far away as the day would allow. He needed to distract himself, to stop this nagging, sucking feeling of guilt and desperation. He hated being almost cruel to Kate. The headache after several days of drinking himself to sleep didn’t help.
He opened Thor’s stall and brushed the animal, then stroked his neck. Thor looked at him with his shiny black eyes.
“Ye lucky beast,” Ian said. “Nae concerns, nae regrets. Just eat yer hay and gallop around.”
Thor blinked and snorted gently, as though asking what was the matter.
The matter was a dark, heavy weight in the pit of Ian’s stomach. He knew in the back of his mind that he’d snapped at Kate with no good reason. He knew he’d behaved like a cold, ungrateful shite. After what she and Manning had managed for the wake, he should have fallen on his knees and kissed her hands. It was she who’d done it, Ian was sure. The spotless great hall, the quick and delicious pastries, the clean cups and plates… Everything had been ready for the guests, neatly organized through and through.
Manning would have never put in that much effort. Cadha didn’t have the physical strength anymore.
No, he knew it was all Kate.
And yet, Ian had hurt her—again. If he’d seen someone else talk to her as he had, the man would lie on the ground with his nose broken.
It was his cloudy mind, he knew, the hangover that made him act out. As well as his worry about the English invaders who threatened to knock on their doors sooner rather than later.
He put on the saddle and the reins, then walked Thor out. Summer was glorious in the Highlands, just like he remembered. It was never as hot as in the caliphate. Rather, the sun was warm and
