A BOMBARDIER BOOKS BOOK
An Imprint of Post Hill Press
ISBN: 978-1-64293-764-0
ISBN (eBook): 978-1-64293-765-7
Firebrand:
Dispatches from the Front Lines of the MAGA Revolution
© 2020 by Congressman Matt Gaetz
All Rights Reserved
Cover photo by SG
Cover art by Cody Corcoran
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author and publisher.
Post Hill Press
New York • Nashville
posthillpress.com
Published in the United States of America
This book is unapologetically dedicated
to my country—and the Firebrands everywhere
who love and protect her.
CONTENTS
One
Sex and Money
Two
Lighting the Torch
Three
The Russia Hoax
Four
A Perfect Call
Five
Enemy of the People
Six
Mar-a-Lago Magic
Seven
Two Parties, One Scam
Eight
Ending Endless Wars
Nine
China Is Not Our Friend
Ten
Sports Fan
Eleven
A Birthright Worth Defending
Twelve
Big Tech Hates America
Thirteen
Revenge Porn Chivalry
Fourteen
Uncanceled
Fifteen
Air Force One: Of Victories
and Quarantines
Sixteen
A Green Real Deal
Acknowledgments
CHAPTER ONE
SEX AND MONEY
I didn’t show up to sell out. Politicians almost always say the right things while campaigning. That’s not hard if you’re a halfway competent actor—and all politicians are actors.
Politics, they say, is show business for ugly people. The real question is who writes the scripts and produces the acts. You are governed by the theater geeks from high school, who went on to make it big booking guests on the talk shows. Ignore them and they’ll ignore you, and you’ll go nowhere fast. The hairdressers and makeup ladies and cameramen pick our presidents. As well they should. They are closer to the viewers and therefore the voters.
When Sen. Ted Cruz lost the 2016 Republican presidential nomination, he whined to his Black Gold backers that the media had given Donald Trump millions of dollars in free media exposure. You get “earned media” by earning it, Ted. And if they won’t have you on, don’t worry. Our generation doesn’t flick channels for its MTV but will do anything for “the Gram.” I grew up in the house Jim Carrey lived in in The Truman Show. I know that all the world’s a stage, especially when we all have cameras with phones. Stagecraft is statecraft.
Speaker of the House Paul Ryan once knocked me for going on TV too much, without considering that maybe his own failures as a leader stemmed from spending too much time in think tanks instead of in the green rooms where guests wait to appear on TV, and are thereby connected to the dinnertime of real Americans. I take his recent elevation to the board of News Corp., the parent company of Fox News, to be his very silent apology.
It’s impossible to get canceled if you’re on every channel. Why raise money to advertise on the news channels when I can make the news? And if you aren’t making news, you aren’t governing.
The Justice Democrats take it a step further, recruiting candidates through casting calls that look more like Hollywood auditions than politics, screening applicants from a given district who sound good delivering their pre-scripted talking points and then backing them. Through this system of political performance art, the rising socialist Left found their female lead in Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York, now perhaps the most powerful member of the House. FDR, JFK, LBJ, AOC: the Left memorializes its best with their initials, which its allies in Big Tech are happy to turn into trending hashtags while they shadowban those of us getting the real truth out.
President Trump knows talent when he sees it. He knows AOC has star power, which is why he so effectively trolls her fellow New York Democrat Chuck Schumer with the prospect of an AOC primary for his Senate seat. The president knows AOC and I are friendly, and on more than one occasion he has checked on my progress in encouraging her potential Senate run.
Once the good talkers get to Washington, they don’t suddenly break bad. It’s more that Washington presents them with a lot of distractions that make it, shall we say, easy to forget the principles they touted on the campaign trail. You don’t drain the swamp; the swamp drains you. Of course, it’s even easier to be distracted if you never had any principles. The emptiest of vessels become the most corruptible of officials.
D.C. distractions take two forms—sex and money. Getting paid and getting laid. Now, those aren’t inherently bad things. In America, a bounty of both is to be honored and celebrated, not chastised. Congressmen shouldn’t betray their country for them, though—yet too many do. In our time, all the politicians want to be celebrities while the celebrities want to be politicians. It’s hard to party like a rock star when you’re living on a public salary, so others pick up the tab—at a very steep price. It’s just your soul—though no one really believes in that because it can’t be monetized.
Washington, unfortunately, can be a very sexy city. Kissinger said power is the ultimate aphrodisiac, and D.C. covets it like the opioids the country can’t seem to get enough of.
This town is full of celebrities making TV shows and movies, famous politicians, people gaining or losing power, scenic architecture, nubile coeds, embassy parties, and countless cosmopolitan fancies that stun those of us who show up as rural out-of-towners. It should both horrify and enlighten you that Bill Clinton said House of Cards wasn’t far off the mark.
D.C. is said to have the highest concentrations of spies and hookers on the planet. It is often difficult to tell which is which, and that is by design. Influence peddlers are usually attractive or willing, or both. It helps them achieve their goals. So even if you don’t think of D.C. as very tempting, you should stay on your toes here lest you get seduced for one purpose or another. A smiling face might not conceal a dagger, but it could hide someone’s hope of getting a rider added to an agriculture spending bill. And if they can’t seduce you, they’ll get your spouse or your kids—just to get to you. Daniel Golden recounts in his book The Price of Admission that
