“Why are you insisting on paying for everything?” Amanda asked while Viktor was still trying to form a response.
“Why do you insist that I cannot?” he defensively shot back before his brain had time to stop him.
“Because paying 50/50 is normal and completely reasonable. It’s reasonable even for people who are good friends … We just met and I’m not comfortable with you spending large amounts of money to do things with me.”
“But it’s my money and if I’m not worried about spending it, then why are you?”
“I don’t care how you spend your money, Viktor, as long as it’s not on me.”
Viktor was at a complete loss for understanding. Her position baffled him. He didn’t understand why she felt so strongly about it and why it was such a problem to let him pay if he wanted to. Normally people were happy to let him pay.
Amanda could tell that he was genuinely confused and knew she needed to explain her feelings better in order to help him to understand why it was important to her.
“Let me try to explain,” she said softly. “We get along great, do we not?”
“Yes,” he agreed.
“Would you say that we have both benefited from meeting each other?”
“I would.”
“I would too. I feel like we both bring something to the table.”
“Yes,” Viktor again agreed.
“If your financial investment began to greatly outweigh mine, that would change the dynamic of our relationship.”
“How so?” he asked, wanting to understand and not feel frustrated.
“Because whether you intend for it or not, I will begin to feel indebted to you.”
“But you’re not,” he disagreed.
“Listen to me. Whether you intend for it or not, I will feel indebted to you,” she repeated slowly. “As the amount of money you spend on me rises, so does my anxiety. I’m not a sociopath who can just take your money and feel nothing, or worse, feel entitled to it. It makes me uncomfortable. And the more money you spend, the more uncomfortable I feel and the more indebted I feel and it’s not a good feeling.”
“I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or indebted.”
“You understand, that’s how I feel when you always want to pay for everything?”
Viktor nodded but still found it hard to accept her viewpoint and couldn’t look at her. He knew she worked hard for her money and had little to spare outside of what she had saved for this trip. The money he was spending wouldn’t even cause a blip in his finances. He was tempted to tell her so but feared that might only make things worse.
“Viktor," she softly said his name.
He finally looked at her, still appearing perplexed.
She reached forward and took his hand. “I am really glad we met and I really enjoy spending time with you.”
His expression relaxed and he squeezed her hand back. “Me too.”
“So let me pay for the gondola and let’s enjoy the day.”
He nodded while still appearing conflicted. “Okay.”
“Are you upset with me?”
He shook his head and offered a warm reassuring smile. “Not at all.”
Amanda finished styling her hair after breakfast and then they left to visit some of the shops before heading to their tour later that afternoon. Amanda picked out souvenirs for her mom and a few of her close friends.
They arrived a few minutes early for their gondola ride. Amanda went ahead and paid for it and then they waited for their gondolier to show them to the boat. The boats were much narrower than Amanda had imagined. They were only designed for 2 passengers who, out of necessity, would need to sit very close.
Viktor got into the boat first and then offered his hand to Amanda to help her in next. Once they settled in, the gondolier pushed off away from the dock and they began gliding their way through the ancient canals of Venice. It was peaceful and relaxing and Amanda couldn’t help but also notice how very romantic it was.
She thought back on their interchange that morning. She reflected on how Viktor listened to her and took her feelings into consideration; how he yielded to her view even though he clearly disagreed. As she lost herself in silent contemplation she became very quiet and distant.
“Is everything all right?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she quickly replied with a smile. “I’m having a great time.”
“Good. Me too.” He reached out and gently squeezed her hand, sending a wave of butterflies through her stomach.
Amanda was suddenly cognizant of how much she liked Viktor and how her feelings for him were beginning to exceed that of mere friendship. As that awareness sunk in, so did a touch of fear and apprehension that made her wish she could return to her previous state of blissful ignorance.
While Amanda thought it likely that they would keep in touch, there was no talk of seeing each other after Italy. Viktor lived on the other side of the continent and between work and caring for her mother, it’s not like she would have time to go visit him. Plus, he spent a good chunk of his time traveling around the world, it seemed. They were from different worlds. Beginning a relationship would be more than challenging; it would be foolish, she reasoned.
While Amanda tried to push the possibility from her mind, it seemed as if the world was conspiring against her. She began to notice happy couples everywhere she looked. They had no doubt been there the entire time, she just hadn’t paid any attention. Now though, it seemed as if every couple in Italy was there embracing, holding hands and kissing. Even on passing gondolas there were couples snuggled together, enjoying the sights. Above them on one of the bridges they were passing under was a young couple locked in a very long, passionate kiss.
“Good grief,” Amanda muttered to herself as she tried to look somewhere else, only to be confronted with another couple.
Viktor overheard her quiet mumbling and found it curiously amusing. “You do not approve?”
Amanda took a deep breath, feeling flustered
