“There may not be any connection, and I don’t pretend to care who killed Dean Arnaud, or why. I’m just curious about how it all fits together, if in fact it does fit together. Most likely, nothing will come of it. I’ll have wasted a little time. On the other hand, life is full of surprises. And it’s not like I don’t have the spare time.”
Mio signed audibly.
“What?” I asked.
“It’s so like you, Shake. For all of your plans and schedules and precautions and all the routines you structure your daily life around, it’s adventure you’re really after. You’re like a wild animal sitting quietly in a room, patiently waiting for an excuse to leap out the window.”
It was my turn to sigh. “Maybe you’re right.”
“I am right. It’s one of the things I like about you. One of your most endearing qualities. We both know you’re wearing a mask, and I like you just fine when you’re wearing it. We also both know you have to take it off now and then, and that’s when the fun begins.”
“Then why do I get the impression you’re trying to talk me out of something?”
“I’m not, Shake. I’m just expressing an opinion. I agree, the world is full of surprises. But the unexpected connections between mundane events are usually just as mundane as the events they connect. As they say, shit happens. It just seems to me that the life you’ve carved out for yourself here in suburbia is your way of not stepping in human shit. So I’m a little confused when you go off looking for something to step in.”
“Aren’t you the one who thinks I’m too domesticated?” I asked.
“For my tastes, Shake. What works for you is your business. And I’m not cautioning you about taking chances. I know you can take care of yourself and I know you could get along just fine without all these domestic props. I just don’t understand why, if your stability is important to you, you would incur the risk. This Arnaud business seems like the perfect way to stumble into a mess that will end up blowing your quiet life all to hell. The murder of a crooked cop, no less. Really, Shake, isn’t this something you ought to avoid?”
“I don’t think there’s much risk involved.”
Mio waved her hand impatiently. “Well, it’s your time. You can fill it however you want. Personally, I think you’d be better off doing crossword puzzles. At least then you could improve your vocabulary.”
It was unusual for Mio to be glib. Unless she simply wanted to change the subject. My expression must have betrayed my feelings.
“I’m not really serious, Shake,” she said. “I know as well as you do that the world tends to surprise us in all kinds of ways. Who knows what little treasures you might find?”
“The world isn’t just surprising, Mio. It’s deeply mysterious. It may look to you like I’m chasing intangibles. And maybe I am. But either way, my curiosity is all I really have. If I stumble across some apparently chance convergence, like Richardson’s photo in Francine’s closet, I don’t just assume there’s a deeper significance, and then go chasing after it. At least not with the expectation of finding anything. But I can’t let that stop me from looking.”
“You like to chase coincidence?”
“I suppose I do. It allows me to act as if the world made sense. For me, coincidence is like a little peephole in a wall. I can pass by without looking and miss whatever might be on the other side. Or I can put my eye up to the hole and satisfy my curiosity. If I choose to look, I may not be able to see much. And most of the time it’s as you say: trivial and mundane. But not always. And either way, the peephole gives me something to focus on.”
“I understand, Shake. Really, I do. The world doesn’t supply us with reasons to do anything other than drink blood. For everything else, we have to come up with our own reasons, our own incentives. I wasn’t criticizing your choices. I just forget sometimes how different you and I are.”
After several minutes, Mio said, “I know you’ve thought about this a lot, Shake. And regardless of what you may think, so have I. No matter how different we might be, we want the same thing. We want to feel like there is some meaning in what we do. I make money by beating humans at their own games. It entertains me, and at the same time, it provides me with effective and efficient strategies for acquiring what I need most from people: their blood. But in the end, the games are just games. I know there isn’t any deeper meaning to them, no more than the coincidences you chase have some deeper meaning. You want to penetrate the world’s mystery because you’re alone and you think you might discover something that will reduce the pain of your solitude. And maybe you will. I don’t know.”
“Aren’t you alone, too, Mio?”
“I am. But not like you. My life keeps me busy. It may only give me an illusion of purpose, but it’s a comforting illusion. That doesn’t seem to work for you. I wonder sometimes if absolute solitude isn’t what you’re really after.”
Mio knew well enough why I lived such a solitary life. She had the same choices I had. Vampires can band together, create their own little communities, where people only enter the picture at mealtime. Most vampires attempt to live this way, attempt to find
