“They think I want to kill myself?”
Benbow looked at her earnestly. “Megan, I know you. I know that you’re going through a tough time, but I know—in my heart—that you’re not suicidal. I don’t think they really believe that either, but they’re going to use it. If the provost marshal’s office at least makes a case that will question not only your ability to do your job but also your mental state, they can better separate themselves from any kind of civil repercussions.”
“What motive would I possibly have for killing myself?”
Benbow pursed his lips and exhaled. “They’re going to say that it’s because of the loss of your son. They’re prepared to say that you’ve been stressed for some time—which accounts for the ill-advised decision to keep Gerry Fletcher from his parents. They’re going to say that losing your son pushed you over the edge.”
Anger burned through Megan. “They’re going to—going to use Chris—” She couldn’t go on. When she did, her voice was coarse, as if it had been sandblasted. “They’re going to use my little boy like that?” Her voice grew steadily tighter, ending up as a squeak. “They can’t do that!”
“I’m sorry, Megan. But you need to know what you’re going to face. If we go to court.”
“If we go to court?”
“You have a choice.”
“What choice?”
“The deal from the provost marshal’s office.”
Megan waited, swallowing hard. Her mind whirled. Thoughts chased themselves, and none of them made any sense. She was crying again, despite the fact that she’d thought herself drained of tears. Everything Benbow was saying was so … so … unbelievable. None of this could be real. God, please don’t let this be real.
“They want you to admit culpability in the Gerry Fletcher matter,” Benbow said. “Say that you were willful in dereliction of duty. Because of the personal agenda you have against Boyd Fletcher.”
“I was trying to save Gerry.”
“No one has to save Gerry now,” Benbow stated gently. “He’s gone, Megan. Wherever he is, he’s no longer part of this.”
“But they’re going to use my baby against me. And he’s not—he’s not here either.”
“Megan, I’m sorry. But, yes, they’re prepared to do exactly that.”
Megan forced herself to think, forced herself to breathe, and maybe she even forced herself to live in that moment. “What happens if I agree to that?”
“The provost marshal’s office recommends leniency. The down-side is that you’ll be left completely exposed to Boyd Fletcher’s civil suit.”
Megan whispered, “Goose and I could lose everything we’ve worked for.”
“Probably. If Boyd Fletcher wants to pursue the civil suit.”
“He will.”
“I think so too.” Benbow let out a breath. “I’ve never met a more vindictive man.”
“You’ve met Boyd Fletcher?”
Benbow nodded. “I wanted to see if I could reason with him. That didn’t happen.”
“Goose and I will lose everything, but the army will be clear.” Megan’s tears dried as the anger inside her turned cold and burned away the feelings of helplessness.
“That’s what General Braddock is hoping.”
“That’s insane.”
“It’s the best shot they have of walking away from this thing.”
The anger grew stronger, pushing aside the frustration and helpless feeling. Is that how it’s going to be, God? I’m supposed to help myself because You don’t care? She was angry with God and Goose and Joey and Benbow, mad at everyone who was supposed to be here to help her but was somehow MIA.
“What do I get out of this?” Megan asked.
The question caught Benbow off guard. He hesitated. “They’ll drop the charges.”
“Only because I admitted guilt for those charges. There’s nothing in that for me.”
“They’ll agree not to come after you, Megan. They won’t press criminal charges. You won’t take the risk of losing your counselor’s license.”
“I don’t think anyone would be inclined to hire me after I admitted guilt in something like this. It’s not the kind of thing you want on a résumé.”
“I don’t know.”
“I wouldn’t hire me,” Megan said.
“You also won’t be looking at any jail time.”
“Jail time?” That surprised Megan for a moment. No one had mentioned jail time.
“This is the military,” Benbow said. “There is the possibility that you would have to serve out a sentence. Probably no more than a few months, but more time could be involved.”
“Because I didn’t tell Gerry Fletcher’s parents that he was in the ER that night?”
“No. I was told that if they had to prosecute you for the Fletcher case, they’ll come after you for Leslie Hollister on a follow-up investigation. They may even press charges for second-degree attempted murder.”
Megan felt trapped. No matter which way she turned, things only got worse. “What would you do?”
“Megan, I’m not facing a trial here.”
Taking another breath, somehow getting calmer by the heartbeat, Megan said, “If I decide to fight them, will you represent me to the best of your ability?”
“If you decide to do that, it’s not going to be easy.”
“That wasn’t the question, Lieutenant.” Megan made her voice hard. “Your career is going to be at risk in this too. I know that. I want to know if you’ll stick with me. And how far you’re willing to go.”
Benbow looked clear eyed and competent, like the kind of guy who would take a bullet for a friend. Like the kind of soldier Goose would be proud of. “Yes, ma’am,” he declared. “I’ll stick with you. Every inch of the way.”
“Fine. Then you take a message to the provost marshal’s office and General Braddock for me. Tell them if they’re going to hang me out to dry, use my baby against me, and put me through hell so they can protect themselves, tell them that I’m going to take them with me.”
“I really don’t think we should respond in such an inflammatory manner.”
“Do you have a nice way of putting it?”
Benbow shook his head. “No, ma’am.”
“Then you tell them.
