"I'm sorry, Pullus," Agrippa said quietly,after returning my salute. "I truly am. But there are...forces andmatters concerning Rome and its future that are greater than anyone man's fate."
"That's easy to say when you're not the onewho's going to be crushed under the wheel," I blurted out, unableto hide my bitterness.
If Agrippa was offended, he gave no sign.Instead, he gave a slow nod of his head.
"That's true, Pullus. That is certainlytrue. And ..." He hesitated for a moment, then said, "For what it'sworth, I do believe a great injustice is being done to you. And Iwill do what I can after the decision is rendered to make sure thepunishment is as light as I can make it."
"I...I appreciate that, sir," was all Icould think to say.
Saluting again, I turned about and left theroom, my mind whirling with the import of what I had just heard.For I had learned something that was even more important thanwhether I could get Claudius as my defender: Agrippa had just toldme in so many words that my fate was already decided.
Unfortunately, the news was not much betterfrom Diocles, although he had located where Claudius lived. As Iexpected, it was on the Palatine, but in something of a surprise,Diocles informed me that he had his own residence, apart from hisfather, which was a bit unusual. The younger Claudius' domicile wason the lower slopes than that of his father, and while that meantthat in theory it would be easier to contact him, I no longer sawthe point. Telling Diocles of what had transpired with Agrippa, Ileft nothing out, and I saw that he was as upset about it as I hadbeen. Unlike me, he was not ready to give up.
"Just because we can't use him as ourdefense, I still think that you should talk to him. He could stillbe useful as a character witness."
"If they'd allow it and, at this point, Idon't see that happening," I said morosely.
Diocles' hand clamped down on my arm with astrength that surprised me, and I am not ashamed to say that mylittle Greek actually made me wince in pain.
"Don't you dare give up," he snappedat me, obviously forgetting our respective roles. "This isn't over!It won't be over until you take your last breath! You're TitusPullus! You are a hero of the 10th Legion! You are oneof the best-known men under the standard of our time! If you giveup now, I will never forgive you!"
I stared at Diocles in open shock; I couldnot remember a time I had seen him so impassioned and angry. Infact, I was the one who broke the stare between us, looking down atthe table, more than a little ashamed of myself. Diocles was right.I had simply come too far and endured too much to simply fold up mytent and accept defeat. While I will not deny that this was mostlyself-interest speaking, it was also the knowledge of how much Iwould be disappointing other people, who had, over the years,expressed such faith and trust in me. What sort of example was Isetting for Gaius if I gave up? Or more importantly, young Titus?How could I shame him in this way?
"You're right," I said finally, and that wasthe last bout of self-pity and defeatism in which I indulgedmyself.
Turning my mind to more practical matters, Imused, "I'm going to have to catch him alone, but in a way thatwon't alarm him and make him think I'm there to do him harm. Didyou see him?"
Diocles shook his head.
"No, I didn't. In fact, I asked some of theslaves who are owned by his neighbors on either side, and they saidthey hadn't seen him about for a week or more. They said normallythey saw him at least once a day, usually more, but always once aday at a certain time."
"When?"
"Shortly before dark, he would head down thehill towards the Forum."
"Probably heading out to go carousing orwhoring," I considered. "Did they give you any idea where?"
Again, he shook his head.
"So," I asked him, "any ideas about how Ifind young Claudius?"
Diocles considered, then nodded hishead.
"Yes," he replied slowly. "I think there isa way. But it means spreading a bit of money around." He gave me asudden grin. "And we both know how much you hate doing that."
I had to laugh; Diocles was certainlyspeaking the truth. It is not that I am miserly, or at least so Ilike to believe, but since I had for so long accustomed myself tosaving every as, denarius, sesterce, or obol that came my waybecause of my ambition to become an equestrian, it was a hard habitto break. However, of all the times I needed to spend freely, thiswas it. After all, I reasoned, since it was so unlikely that I wasgoing to become an equestrian, I had no reason not to spend money.Dead men are very rarely elevated to the next class.
Thus began a very tense next few days, asthe trial of Primus drew ever closer. Diocles spent most of his daygone, but unusually, he refused to divulge where he was spendinghis time or what he was doing. I, on the other hand, did littlemore than take long rides in the country with Ocelus. My rationalewas simple; unless and until I could make contact with Claudius,there was not much else I could do. I was risking everything on onethrow of my dice, if only because I could not think of anythingelse. It would all come down to Claudius, and my hope that heupheld his oath, given to me after I saved his life. Of all thehopes and risks, this was the slenderest reed of them all,especially given my experience with the perfidy of the upperclasses, but it was all I had. Until I knew, I decided to spend asmuch time riding my horse as I could, in the event that we would beseparated after my trial. The best I could hope for was to bestripped of not only my rank, but all of my property, and exiled.The fact that this was the
