When Alex reached the part about the actualfight, he stood up, getting into the spirit of telling this story,or so I supposed as he went on, “I was up on a table withCogidubnus and his brother Ivomagus watching, and at first, Ididn’t understand what Gnaeus was doing. When the barbarian chargedat him, he hopped aside, and Berdic ran his head right into theoverturned tables they used to form the square.” He grinned as headded, “He reminded me of when a bull charges something, andinstead of hitting what he aimed at, he runs into a tree.” Thiselicited laughter, and even I chuckled at the memory of how theblack-haired Parisii had run headlong into the table, bounced offit, then for a span of a couple heartbeats, stood there shaking hishead as he tried to clear it, and I could have ended matters rightthen but chose not to do so. “But then,” Alex turned to look at me,and he suddenly sound disapproving, “I watched as Gnaeus let thebastard hit him. And,” he pointed at the pink scar on my cheekbone,from which he’d removed the stitches a week after we left Petuar,“he got his cheek split open because of it.” He shook his head. “Ihad no idea what he was doing. It seemed to me like he wanted tolose.” Alex stopped then, and our eyes met, and in them, I saw thathe understood all too well. “But after it was over, I knew why hewas letting Berdic beat him.”
“The beast.”
This made me gasp, not because of the term,but who uttered it, and I looked over at Miriam, who had been theone who, like Alex, correctly identified why I had behaved in themanner I did. She returned my gaze levelly, not smiling, yet notseeming unhappy.
“Remember, not just the Pullus menhave read the Prefect’s account,” she reminded me.
Which I had, in fact, completely forgotten,but feeling the eyes of everyone else on me, I simply nodded myaffirmation as Alex continued, “Finally, Gnaeus fought back. Hepunched Berdic,” he pointed to his midriff, “right here, and evenwith all the shouting, I could hear the wind leaving his lungs. Andthen,” his expression changed, slightly but noticeably, as if,despite having reconciled himself with what had taken place, he wasstill having trouble understanding it, “he grabbed Berdic by hisbelt and throat,” he was mimicking the movement as he talked, “thenpicked him up over his head like this.” He extended his arms abovehis head, not completely straight but close, and this was afragment that I recalled, not in terms of an image, but recallingthat in that moment I realized if I had done so, I would havethrust Berdic up against the roof of the hall. “Then,” Alex pausedfor an instant, then made an extremely violent motion, twisting hisbody as he brought both arms downward, “he slammed Berdic headfirstinto the floor.”
And, suddenly, I remembered. Irecalled not only the sight of Berdic, hovering above my head, butthe feeling of the moment,and how I was worried that my grip around his throat would slipbecause it was so slippery from the oil he had lathered all overhimself, giving him the opportunity to use his hands to gouge myeyes or punch me because he did not have to worry about hiswindpipe being crushed. But, more than anything, it was the feelingof such power flowing through me, and the delight I took in theidea of crushing this man’s head by slamming him into thehardpacked dirt floor of the hall. I was…happy, I realized. In thatmoment, I had been almost as happy as I was when I lay with Bronwenfor the first time, and it was the realization of this as Alexdescribed what had happened that shook me, to my core.
“How large was Berdic?” GaiusGallienus was the one who asked the question, and I was surprisedat Alex’s answer, although I should not have been.
“He was about two inches shorter, butI’m certain he weighed as much as Gnaeus. And,” Alex addedpointedly, “it wasn’t fat.”
“Gnaeus,” Miriam asked gently, “do youremember any of that?”
I was tempted to lie, but I found myselfanswering honestly, “Not until Alex just talked about it.” I saidthis not intending to embarrass or censure him in any way, but assoon as the words were out, I realized how they could be construed,so I turned to him to assure him, “But that’s all right, Alex. Ineeded to hear about it, so thank you.”
There was a long silence, then Birgit brokeit.
“I agree, Alex. I do not want yougoing to Alexandria without Gnaeus. And,” she turned to look at medirectly, “I would not trust anyone other than Gnaeus.”
“It’s not going to be just the two ofus,” I began, but then Bronwen interrupted.
“No, it will not be because I am goingas well.”
I watched as Birgit and Miriam exchanged alook that gave me some hope that I would have some allies in myattempt to keep Bronwen in Arelate, which was barely flickering atthis point, but I was disappointed when they did not sayanything.
Alex addressed Septimus. “Did you findanything out about Aviola since the last time I was here?”
“I did,” my uncle replied, getting up.“Let me go get my tablets.”
While he was gone, Miriam took theopportunity to talk to Bronwen.
“I know that we don’t know each othervery well,” she began. “But I want to change your mind about goingto Alexandria.” I tried to hide the look of relief that threatenedto flash across my face, but thankfully, Bronwen was only lookingat Miriam. “I know I don’t have to tell you that it will
