I was pleased to see that he obviously did,because the color drained from his face, and even more gratifying,he began to shake visibly as he swore that he did and would abideby whatever he was told, without question. One thing I had learnedfrom my father is how the twin pillars of respect work, one beingout of love or regard for one’s superior, and for the system underwhich we operate, one based in fear.
“Whenever possible,” he told me onmore than one occasion, “you want your men to follow you becausethe respect they hold for you is based in their trust that you’redoing the best thing for them under the circumstances. Butsometimes,” his voice would always harden, “you’re going to find astubborn cunnus, or morelikely, be in a situation where the quickest path to obedience isbecause they’re more scared of you than they are of whateverthey’re about to face.”
This was what I had in mind when I spoke toGaius, and it was also to give him a taste of the kind of life hehad told me he wanted when we spoke the year before, but I alsoknew that only time would tell if he liked that taste or not. Thiswas how we added one more to our party.
Fairly quickly, we fell into the routine ofshipboard life, although Bronwen had a bit more difficulty, mainlybecause once past Massillia, land is nowhere to be seen, so thereis not even that distraction. She has an intense curiosity, andfrankly, it proved to be almost exhausting trying to keep up withher mind as she asked question after question, but no matter whatlies in our future, I believe we will both think back to thisvoyage as one of the best times of our lives. Naturally, on a shipfull of men, she was the most popular person aboard, yet shehandled even the clumsiest attempts by one of the crew to engageher in some sort of conversation with the kind of grace that leftthem grinning, even after she had evaded spending time around them.On the fourth day, we reached Elba, where we only put in for awatch to refill water barrels, but we spent the rest of the dayalong the coast, and she passed part of the time watching the landsliding past. It was two days later when we had our first crisis,although it was a small one, and it was totally my fault.
As we approached Ostia, which, next toAlexandria, is the busiest port in the known world, Bronwen and Iwere standing together, leaning on the railing, and I casuallypointed in that direction, saying, “You know, Rome is only aboutfifteen miles from here.”
I heard her gasp, and she spun about to faceme, her eyes wide as she looked up at me.
“Rome? We are close toRome?”
I was getting the first sense that I mayhave made a mistake, but I answered honestly, “Yes, we’re not faraway. But,” I tried not to sound desperate, “we’re trying to get toAlexandria as quickly as possible, and we’d lose at least aday.”
“But it is Rome!” she countered, and I was struck in themoment by the fact that here I was arguing with a Parisii girlagainst going to the city for whom I march that I had never visitedmyself.
Nevertheless, I managed to at least attemptto sound firm. “Yes, I understand that, Bronwen. But we can’tafford to waste time.”
“How can you waste time going toRome?” She snorted, tossing her head in a manner that reminded meof Latobius when he did not want to accept the bit, which I wiselydid not mention. Suddenly, she regarded me with narrowed eyes asshe asked, “Have you been toRome?”
I confess I was a bit ashamed to admit, “No,I haven’t. And,” I put my hands on both her shoulders, “I trulywant to visit it. But,” I struggled not to communicate to her thedepth of my concern, “it’s very important that we get to Alexandriaas quickly as possible.”
“Why?” she asked, and her eyes weresearching my face, which made it even more difficult to try andmaintain at least a semblance of unconcern about mysituation.
I decided to be partially honest.
“According to our rules,” I begancarefully, “instead of going to Arelate, I should have reported toUbiorum first. And then, I should have requested permission from myPrimus Pilus for an extended leave to travel to Arelate, thenAlexandria.”
I decided to leave out any mentionthat such a request would be beyond the authority of Primus PilusSacrovir, which meant it would go to the Legate, and unless thingshad changed, Germanicus was filling the roles of both Legateand Propraetor.
She listened, but when I was finished, iteasy to see she did not accept it, which was confirmed when sheargued, “But this is for your family! Surely they wouldunderstand!”
How, I wondered, can I tell her what itmeans to be a Roman, and even more importantly, what it means to bea Roman Legionary, and a Pilus Prior at that? For a long moment, Iconsidered broaching this topic, letting her know what she couldexpect being the woman of a Centurion of Rome. Oh, I had told hersome of it; specifically, that we are forbidden from being legallymarried, yet this had not seemed to bother her. However, if thetribes of Britannia were anything like the tribes of Germania, shewould have to become accustomed to her man being on duty around theyear, and in some ways, we are busier in the winter than we areduring campaign season. I did not, taking the coward’s way out byconvincing myself that I was doing it for her, not wanting to bestuck on a ship, far from home, and now that her eyes had beenopened, wanting nothing more than to return home.
Instead, I said, “Theymight have understood. But,” Ishrugged as if I was a helpless bystander, “now it’s too late.There’s no way for me to explain why I didn’t return immediately.So we need to get to Alexandria, as quickly as we can,
