“I think,” he said quietly, “you needto wear that tonight, given all that’s happening and what itmeans.”
Naturally, my seemingly unusual actiondrew the attention of everyone else, but I barely noticed them;what I did notice was how myhands shook as I loosened the drawstrings, then dumped the contentsinto my palm. As I said, in terms of its physical properties, it isnot much; just a metal disc with a leather thong threaded throughthe small hole. It is impossible to truly explain why, but I hadnever taken the time to clean my father’s blood off from theidentity disc that had once belonged to Titus Pomponius Pullus, andI was alarmed to see the orange spots, very tiny but stillnoticeable, of rust, a reminder of how blood will pit and rustiron, though nobody I have talked to knows why this is the case.I’m going to have to clean it, I thought to myself, but nottonight; tonight, my father’s blood is coming with me on this task.I could feel the eyes of everyone in the cabin on me, but it was toSeptimus and Gaius I turned, understanding that, next to Alex, theywould understand what was taking place.
Holding the disc up, I barely recognized myown voice as I asked, “Do either of you know what this is?”
I was not surprised that it was Septimus whounderstood first, actually dropping to his knees as he gasped,“That’s Avus’ identity disc!”
“It is,” I confirmed, but while Icannot say why, exactly, I thrust it out so that it was closer tohis face as I said, “and that’s your brother’s blood still onit.”
Rather than recoil or admonish me for notcleaning it, Septimus reached out, his hand trembling, to touch thedisc dangling from my hand. And, I do not believe he would censureme for saying, tears welled up from his eyes, but I was similarlyaffected. Yes, it had been well more than a year since TitusPorcinianus Pullus had fallen, and almost exactly a year since Ihad brought his ashes to Arelate, but it made the moment no lesspowerful. I am not much of a believer in the gods, and how much ofan influence they have on everything we humans do, yet I confessthat I was certain my remembrance of that disc in that moment wasno accident.
“He’s come back to Alexandria. ThePrefect is here, with us,” Alex said, his voice suddenly soundingchoked.
Under any other circumstances, I would havelaughed at this as mystical nonsense, but I did, and still believe,that this was the truth.
We made our preparations quickly,though not without problems. Namely, since I would not be wearinga sagum, the plan called forme to wear a paenula, but notonly did it look ridiculous, making me seem like I was wearingsomeone else’s that I had already outgrown, most importantly, itwould not hide my gladius.This was not a problem for the others, although Gaius would not bewearing one; I did relent and allow him to carry apugio, more to forestall anotherteenage outburst than any thought that he would need it. Finally,with Demeter’s help, we came up with a solution, strapping thesheath to my back, though not in the normal way where the grip wasseveral inches above my shoulder, placing it so that it was insteadjust below my left shoulder. It made it more difficult to reach,but after practicing with it a couple of times, I felt confident Iwould be able to draw it. The other difference was that the harnesswas strapped to my body underneath the large civilian’s tunic I waswearing, thereby removing the need for some sort of covering, and Ihappily discarded the paenula. Demeter also broke out cudgels from hisweapons store, which I had been concerned about, thinking thatthese would be hard to conceal, until I saw them. Since these arefor use in the cramped confines of a ship, their handles were cutdown so that they are just a bit longer than a standardpugio, and they were attached toeveryone’s baltea to dangleopposite their main weapons, which I know the others got tired ofhearing me admonish about how they were not to be used unlessabsolutely necessary.
When Demeter held the last cudgel out to me,I smilingly refused it, assuring him, “I don’t need that to knocksomeone senseless.”
“No, I suppose not,” he said,laughing.
Nothing had been said, especially by me, butit was easy to see that for this, Demeter had silently shiftedcommand onto my shoulders, for which I was thankful, since I hadsomewhat expected a clash of wills on the subject.
Opening the cabin door, I held a briefinspection of each of them, just as if I was doing the same for myCentury before we went into battle, and once I was satisfied, Isent them up on deck, so I was the last one out of the cabin,giving Bronwen and me a moment of relative privacy. She had beenalmost completely silent, save for her outburst about Gaius, andnow she was pale, but I could tell that she was doing her best toappear unconcerned.
Taking her into my arms, I assuredher, “Everything will be fine, meummel. We’re going to be fine and we’ll be back withthat bastard and find out where whatever money he has isat.”
“I know.” She smiled up at me, theworry expressed in her eyes as she mouthed brave words. “I know youwill be successful, Gnaeus.”
“And then, we can go home.”
“Home?” Suddenly, she looked confused.“Whose home?”
This was the moment I realized that we hadnever discussed anything other than the immediate future. While itwas a conversation we would have to have, this was not the time,but the seed had been planted in my mind as I wondered, what if sheno longer wanted to come to Ubiorum with me?
“Yes, we’ll have to talk about that,”I answered awkwardly, and I felt her stiffen in my
