“What is it, my love?”
I felt her eyes studying my face, but Icould not really bring myself to myself to speak truly, sayingonly, “I’m going to miss them.”
She surprised me then, saying simply, “Sowill I.”
When I looked over at her, I searchedher face for signs that she was just saying this to make me feelbetter, or perhaps not so alone in my feelings, but her gaze neverwavered as she explained, “Gnaeus, I have just sailed across whatyou Romans call Our Sea, and watched as these people riskedeverything to help you. Just as,”she grabbed my arm, “you did to help them. I have never seenanything like it, and I have never heard of anything like it. You,”she turned and nodded her head to indicate my family, who at thatmoment were laughingly arguing about some moment concerning stolenfigs and who the real culprit was, “and your family are the mostremarkable people I have ever met. And,” she smiled at me, “thanksto my father, I had already met many people, from manylands.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but thenI realized that there was nothing I could say that would topthat.
It was with a great deal of reluctance thatI stood from my spot on the couch to announce, “There are thingsthat Septimus and I need to talk to you about.” This was when Alexcleared his throat from his spot between his mother and sister, butwhen I glanced at him, he pointed to Septimus, who was next toMiriam…snoring, his head hanging over the edge of the couch. “Youcoward,” I grumbled, though I did not really mean it. Besides, Iwas certain that Alex knew everything that Septimus needed to say,and he obviously knew my part, but before I began, I realized thatsomething was not right. “Let’s go to the kitchen and sit at thetable,” I said.
Then, without waiting, I held out myhand for Bronwen, who had followed my lead and had a clear head.Entering the kitchen, I was relieved to see that the children hadbeen put to bed, and I waited for the others to file, or stagger,in and drop down into their spots. Servius had roused Septimus, andbetween him and Alex, they steered my uncle into the room; he wasawake, but I was certain he would be of no use. Gaius was in notmuch better shape than his uncle, but to my eyes, it appeared as ifhe was rapidly sobering up, and I wondered if it was the suddenchange in the mood. For some reason, I felt more comfortablestanding and I had the sudden and absurd urge to go to my room tograb my vitus so that I couldsend the message that what I had to say was not up for debate, norwould I change my mind. Everyone settled into their accustomedspots, while Bronwen sat where she had been sitting since ourarrival, and then all eyes were on me.
Before I could stop myself, I plungedahead by saying, “I owe all of you the truth, and my assessment ofthe situation that faces me. But, before I do, there’s somethingelse I need to say.” I had to take a breath to steady my voice. “Ihave absolutely no regrets about my actions, and even if I knew theconsequences that I’m going to be facing when I return, I would dothe same thing, so please understand that. You,” I cursed thesudden lump in my throat, but I managed to force back the tears,“are my family, and I hope that by now you know that I’m proud thatI know the truth, and that I’d die for each and every one of you.”I was unsure whether I felt better or worse seeing the sheen ineveryone’s eyes and the rapid blinking, but now I hardened myvoice. “That’s why I don’t want you wasting time and energyworrying about how you can help me get elevated back into theEquestrian Order. The simple fact is that it’s highly unlikely I’mgoing to be remaining in the Centurionate when I return to Ubiorum,which means that more sacrifice on your part to scrape together themoney will be a waste.” For the first time, I addressed myselfdirectly to Alex, and I used the tone of voice I knew that he wouldrecognize, not that of a friend and defacto family member, but a Centurion of Rome, which Istill was, for the moment. “And I don’t want anyone contacting mymother, for the same reason. It won’t do any good. I, and only Iwill be the one to speak to her about this.”
I paused, which was not a good idea, becauseMiriam immediately asked, “What kind of punishment are youfacing?”
“I don’t know,” I replied honestly,but I was also being evasive, and to my chagrin, I saw that she wasnot fooled in the slightest.
“Don’t play me for a fool, Gnaeus,”she snapped, confirming my observation. “What are the possiblepunishments?” She paused then, and now I could see the tears spillover, but her voice was still strong, “Could you be put todeath?”
“It’s…possible,” I answered honestlybut reluctantly. My only consolation was that I had alreadyforewarned Bronwen, although she was very pale. “It depends onwhether or not we’re still considered to be oncampaign.”
“But the season’s over,” Miriamobjected, yet another reminder of her familiarity with theLegions.
“It is,” I allowed, “but it’s alsopossible that Germanicus has been ordered by Tiberius to continuethe campaign into next season in order to finish Arminius once andfor all. If that’s the case, then even in the winter, it’sconsidered part of the same campaign season because it allows theLegate to use the men for duties specifically designed to continuethe campaign and not for other tasks. Like building a fleet, whichis what we did last year at this time.”
“But he’s been defeated and his armydestroyed.” Septimus spoke for the first time, and while his wordswere slightly slurred, his words made perfect sense. “There’s noneed to march in the spring.”
“Not unless the Imperator wants tomount Arminius’ head on the Rostra, because while his army wasdestroyed, Arminius got away.”
Alex had once again gotten to the heart