He turned off before Lübbenau and drove toward a dense forest area. He found a secluded opening by the side of the road and rolled in as far as the forest would allow. By the time he decided on a suitable place to bury Vivar, it was early in the afternoon, and he knew he would not be done before the morning. He rang Ida’s phone.
“Hello?”
“Ida, I can’t make it back today,” he said with a flat, dull tone. “We need to meet tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” said Ida. There was a long pause. “Is everything ok? Where are you?” she asked.
“I’m fine. Look, I really can’t talk right now. There’s just something I have to deal with today.”
“Ok,” she replied.
“You’re ok? No sign of Kalakia’s men?”
“No, not since I left your apartment. I’m fine.”
“Good. Then I’ll see you tomorrow. 1 pm at the Lustgarten in Mitte.”
“Ok. 1 pm at Lustgarten.”
He ended the call and put his phone away. He was not himself. He knew that. In his current state of mind, he had use only for anger. Kalakia was enforcing his authority. Frederich understood that. But the only authority he could ever tolerate was Kraas, and Kraas’ commands came with good intention. Like Frederich’s non-negotiable 5 am wake-up time, for example, or Kraas’ insistence that Sunday be a day of rest. It was about structure, discipline and what was best for Frederich. Kalakia was toying with him because he could. That made him viscerally upset.
To avoid getting too worked up, he turned his focus to digging. The soil came apart easier than he had hoped. He would never have imagined during the last week’s storm that he would later find himself in the middle of nowhere, with a shovel, digging a grave and feeling thankful for the deluge. It was a nice concession considering the situation.
He toiled throughout the day and into the night, channelling his rage toward completing an eight-foot-deep hole in the ground, adding an extra couple of feet to keep the wolves away. By 2 am the following morning, Vivar’s corpse was tucked deep in the Spreewald forest. By 4 am Frederich was back at his apartment and shortly after that he was showered and in a deep sleep.
Frederich took the S-Bahn to Hackescher Markt and crossed the Friedrichs Bridge into Lustgarten. To his left stood the Berlin Cathedral, and to the right was the monolithic Old Museum, under which sat Ida, patiently waiting on the front steps, dwarfed by a series of neo-classical columns. When Ida noticed Frederich approach, she got up and marched forward, wrapping her arms around him and holding his body tight against hers. Her warmth seeped in and filled him with something obscure and gentle, an energy he rarely felt. He lifted his arms and wrapped them around her in turn, and they remained locked together for a long time.
“I don’t think I can explain how glad I am to see you,” she said, taking his hand and leading him to sit beside her on the steps, which overlooked the open grass area. “Are you ok?” she asked.
It was a good question. He felt… different. The emptiness was still there, but it was now more than an inconvenient presence; it was a part of him. He first noticed the shift while standing over Vivar’s bloodied body. It had given him intense gratification, much like killing Elias Khartoum, only now it felt permanent, more rooted. It seemed each kill had allowed the void to become integrated, like a body part.
“Frederich, tell me what happened.”
“I’ll tell you,” he replied. “But tell me first, did they hurt you?”
“No, I’m fine,” she said. “There were two of them. They broke into the apartment. It was crazy. I became another person. I was so focused.” She smiled, and her face brightened as she recalled the events. “I used self-defence moves I learnt when I was younger without thinking. I mean, I jumped out of the freaking window!”
Frederich looked at Ida with a warm expression and nodded.
“What happened to you, other people would have broken down. You have amazing strength, Ida. I don’t think I’ve met anybody like you.”
“Thanks, Frederich,” she said, her eyes softening.
“And you should know, you’re safe now. Nobody is going to lay a finger on you. I promise.”
“That’s great,” she said halfheartedly. “How do you know that?”
“I spoke to Kalakia. We made a deal.”
Ida tilted her head and inspected Frederich’s face. Her expression darkened.
“Frederich, I want to ask you something, but I'm afraid.”
“Then don’t ask,” he replied.
“No. I have to know. Where were you the whole time?”
Frederich remained silent. She was reading him again.
“Something happened. I can see it on your face. You’re different,” she said.
“I need to leave Berlin tomorrow,” he said.
Her eyes widened.
“Why?”
“I’m joining The League. I’m working for Kalakia now.”
Her mouth fell open. She had been sitting side by side with Frederich, but now she shifted back and created a distance between them.
“You’re what?”
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Ida.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means there’s something in me that’s not normal.”
“And? We’re all weird in some way,” she shot back.
“This is different. I belong there.”
“What are you talking about? Bullshit! I’ve seen you, Frederich. You killed Elias because you had to. You were protecting me, and he was going to kill you first. They kill because they want to.”
“There’s more, Ida. And that’s the part you don’t want to see.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head vigorously. “No!”
“Ida, plea—”
“Frederich, they tried to kill me! And now you want to work for them? How? Why?”
“I never wanted them to hurt you. I was trying to protect you. I made a mistake the other day, and I’m sorry.”
Frederich felt cornered. His face was burning red now. He was not prepared for this conversation. Ida went quiet for a time.
“Fuck!” she blurted as a sob broke out. “Are… are you going to kill people for them?”
He paused. The moment he had feared was coming.
“Yes.”
Ida stood up and took a step
