He turned the engine off, left the headlights on, then got out of the car and walked with Chris down to the water’s edge. They sat down on a log and looked out over the water, which gleamed with the reflection of the moonlight and the beams from the car’s headlamps. When Chris rubbed her shoulders because she felt chilly, Rick took off his denim jacket and draped it around her.
“Is that better?” he said, moving close to her.
She smiled at him in a distracted manner. He picked up a few pebbles and tossed them one by one into the water. He glanced at Chris after a few moments. She seemed a thousand miles away. He suddently wanted very much to take her in his arms and kiss her, but as he put his arm around her, he felt her body tense. He sighed and took his arm away. He knew something was bothering her, but he couldn’t figure out what the hell it was. Was it something he had done or failed to do? Something had really changed between them since last summer. Maybe there was someone else back home, he thought. But surely, if that were the case, she would have told him.
“You know, I don’t think I could live anywhere else,” he said, looking out at the lake and just talking to make conversation, hoping he could get her to open up. “The nights are always so peaceful and quiet.”
She didn’t say anything for a moment, then, still not looking at him, she said softly, “It’s deceiving.”
He glanced at her sharply, puzzled by the peculiar comment. “What do you mean?”
Again, she was silent for a moment, as if she were struggling to get the words out. “The quiet can fool you,” she said finally. He saw her swallow hard. “It fooled me.”
Rick sensed that she was on the verge of telling him about it, whatever it was, but she was having a difficult time of it. Suddenly he didn’t think it was another guy back home. It was something worse. Something was really bothering her. Something had happened and she was scared.
“Chris,” he said, gently prompting her, “why did you come back here?”
She hesitated, moistening her lips. Her mouth had gone suddenly dry. “To prove something to myself,” she said at last. “To prove I’m stronger than I think I am.”
“What about us?” Rick said.
“I’m here with you,” she said, looking at him intently. “Can’t that be enough for now?”
“I don’t know,” said Rick, his frustration mounting. She seemed about to tell him, but suddenly she backed off again. “I mean, I don’t see you for months on end, and when I do, you put this barrier between us. How do I break though?”
She sighed heavily. “You’re right,” she said. “I should have told you everything a long time ago, but I just couldn’t.” She bit her lower lip and shook her head, looking away from him. She looked as if she was about to cry.
“Look, Chris,” he said, “you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.”
“I want to,” she said, looking at him earnestly. “I want you to know what happened so you’ll understand.”
She looked away from him and stared out at the water. She was afraid to tell him, afraid that he wouldn’t understand, but she could not go on any longer without telling him about it. It wasn’t fair. She owed him at least that much.
“Everything is so clear in my mind,” she said, “as if it were happening right now.” She shut her eyes a moment, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “I don’t know if you remember,” she said, “but when you dropped my off that night, it was very late. I knew my parents would be waiting up for me. But I didn’t care. We’d had such a good time.”
She sighed again and looked at him briefly before looking away once more. He was watching her intently, allowing her to proceed at her own pace, just listening and not commenting. He was doing his best to make it easier for her. Maybe he really would understand, she thought. Maybe he won’t blame me, as my parents did. The thought made it a little easier for her to go on. Now that she had started, she had to tell the whole story and it simply came spilling out of her.
“The minute I got in the door,” she said, “they started yelling at me and cursing me. We had such a big fight. My mom slapped me. That was the first time my mother had ever hit me. I couldn’t believe it. I ran out the door and into the woods. I wanted to punish them. I decided to hide out all night. I’d get them so worried that they’d be sorry for what they did.”
Her voice caught and she took another deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. Talking about it was bringing it vividly into focus. Rick took hold of her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. She continued.
“It had been raining out and the woods were cold and wet. I found a dry spot under an oak tree and I guess I fell asleep. All I can remember next is being startled out of sleep by the sound of footsteps. I was sure it was Dad, so I sat up and listened for him.”
She began to tremble.
“The footsteps stopped,” she said, her heart beating faster as she relived it in her mind. Her mouth felt dry. Her skin was clammy. “Then I heard this crackling noise behind me. I turned around and standing there was this hideous-looking man . . . so grotesque he was almost inhuman. He . . . he had a knife and . . . and he attacked me with it!”
Tears started down her face as she gripped Rick’s hand with a fierce intensity but avoided looking
