And that what I’m scared of. That I’ll do this, make my big escape, and she won’t even give a fuck.
Because I would miss her. I might even miss her so much I would do something stupid and chase after her. Convince her to stay with me. Put all my considerable power into attaining her love and respect.
Shit. I don’t know myself right now. That just adds to my frustration.
I head back to the bed, letting my eyes roam over her again. I feel myself smile.
It really doesn’t matter what I want to want. The only thing that matters is how she makes me feel.
And she makes me feel amazing. I realize I’m angry because that feeling might go away, and I have no control over that.
Only she does.
Maybe, like it or not, I’m hers.
29 Jane
It’s been a month now, and things are coming along great. I get up early in the morning, long before Riker wakes up. I wake up to him sleeping in bed. One side of his face is buried in pillows, and the side shown is highlighted by the sunlight streaming through the windows. I spot a bit of saliva crawling out of his open mouth, and he even emits a small snore. It sounds cute.
His arms loosely hug the pillows, and his bare back subtly moves as he dreams. I had to admit that Riker looks adorable. He’s different to how others perceive him as, and now, knowing him for quite some time, I feel like I can trust him. He’s someone that I’m comfortable to be around, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I gently lean over to kiss Riker’s messy hair before slipping out of bed. I take a quick shower, get myself in a comfy bathrobe, and pick up the phone to order some breakfast. I was in the mood for something fancy, so I order some crepes with a side of toast. As I wait, I’m tempted to call Nia and tell her more about Riker. She seems to be growing fond of him, so why not?
I pick up my phone and call Nia. I wait a few moments before her cute face appears on video chat. Her eyes are wide and filled with so much joy.
“Hi, Mommy!” Nia cheers, her voice rings so sweetly in the air. I want her to be here so I can hug her. I miss our hugs.
“Hi, Nia,” I say and wave at her. “I didn’t wake you up, did I?”
“Nope,” Nia says as she shakes her head quickly. “How are you, Mommy?”
“I’m doing well, how are you?”
“Great! I’m making breakfast, look! Look!” Nia brings the phone over to a bowl of cereal. She filled the bowl up with a mountain of sugary cornflakes, I don’t think there’s any milk.
“You added too much, dear,” I tell her, “it’s not good to eat all that.”
“Awww,” Nia whines, “but I wanted to make my own breakfast.”
“And you did a very good job,” I praise, “but you’ll get a stomach ache if you eat all that.”
“Mmm,” Nia pouts, and she shows me her gloomy face. I hate to see her like that. What happened to those joyful eyes?
“How about this, the next time I see you, I’ll help you make cereal. Would you like that?”
Nia’s face brightens up. “Yes!”
“Good.” I smile too, then I hear Riker coming over. I turn to see him in his bathrobe, his hair is still a mess. He rubs the sleep out of his eyes as he releases a huge yawn. He stretches out his arms before they relax back to his sides.
“Good morning,” I greet him with a smile.
“Morning,” he repeats and sits down next to me. “Are you talking to Nia?”
“Hi, Riker!” Nia greets with a huge wave, and she jumps about to add to her excitement.
“Hey, kiddo, what’s up?” Riker asks.
“Nothing,” Nia giggles. She has such a sweet giggle.
“She was attempting to make breakfast,” I tell Riker. “But she added too much cereal.”
“Is that so?” Riker asks with amusement in his voice. “Let me see.”
Nia shows us her work and Riker has a goofy grin on his face. “It looks good, I don’t see the problem with it.”
“She added too much,” I remark.
“It’s a good effort,” Riker says.
“Thanks!” Nia exclaims with another giggle. She jumps about again and does a little twirl.
We continue chatting, and I watch as Riker and Nia absorbed in each other’s company. He mentions that all of us should hang out together again, and Nia is absolutely thrilled with that proposal. I’m just smitten with how happy Nia is. I can’t recall a time that she was happier. It made my heart soar like a bird. Seeing Nia so happy is always a gift, even if it’s just a smile.
We talk for a bit more until Riker leaves the room to get ready. He waves goodbye and leaves just like that. Shortly after that, I finish chatting with Nia and get out to get our food. Once I did that, I settle down in front of the TV and turn it on.
I flip through the channels with a silly grin on my face until I get to the news. My smile drops. I freeze right there. I’m glad I’m not eating at that moment because I would’ve choked on my food.
A young woman stands in front of a group of journalists. She’s dressed in lavish attires, and her jewels sparkle brightly. However, her face is grim with the remnants of tears. She holds her stomach where there’s a tiny bump.
She’s the woman from Riker’s apartment a month or so ago that I kicked out.
What gets me is the bright red headline at the bottom of the screen. It claims that the woman is Riker’s ex-girlfriend, Ana, and that she’s pregnant with his child. My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach. I can’t be reading that
