Barbès, an ironwork overground station overlooking the craziness of the cheap pink-and-white department store Tati.
Ligne 3: Gallieni–Pont de Levallois-Bécon
This line gets packed with the masses of commuters whose working day begins and ends with being squashed on to a suburban train at Saint-Lazare. The older Line 3 trains have been refitted and now feature bizarre holding-on poles in the aisles. Instead of a single pole from floor to ceiling, there is a sort of cactus structure that splits into three from waist height, giving triple holding-on space. On the ceiling, in the middle of this trio of poles, is a blue light that shines down the metal, making the whole thing look like some kind of teleporter. Touch the pole and you will be beamed instantly to Saint-Lazare, which, during rush hour, would be a welcome thing.
FUN STATIONS
Temple, because it is almost pointless. It emerges about 20 metres from République (where Line 3 also stops) and seems to serve only to take people to the door of the local Monoprix supermarket.
Réaumur-Sébastopol—not only does the station commemorate one of the few battles jointly won by the Brits and the French (the 1854–5 siege of Sébastopol in the Crimea), but also both Line 3 platforms are decorated with a collage of old newspaper articles, a reminder of the fact that this quartier was once Paris’s Fleet Street. The front pages give a patchy version of recent French history—a 1912 boxing match, the 1936 Tour de France, a one-legged man taking up skiing, and the outbreak of the Second World War, followed rather quickly by ‘Victoire!’ in 1945. No mention of the Occupation except for the announcement of the 1944 uprising, which includes the outrageous French propaganda of the time: ‘Paris has liberated itself … without support from Allied troops’ (D-Day and the subsequent rout of Nazi forces in northwest France clearly didn’t count as ‘support’).
Parmentier—the green trelliswork on the platform walls may make the station look like a garden in which the clematis have all died, but in fact the cross-hatching is meant to represent the threads of a potato net (potatoes are sold in net bags in supermarkets). This is a rather obscure homage to Antoine-Augustin Parmentier, whom the French claim as a pioneer in potato cultivation—which is why they call shepherd’s pie hachis parmentier. In fact, Parmentier was the scientist who proved to sceptical Parisians in the 1770s that the potato wasn’t poisonous, as was commonly believed. To win favour for his pet vegetable, he gave a plant to King Louis XVI, who wore the flower in his buttonhole. Fortunately, other Parisians understood that the tubers were meant to be eaten, and the potato has been a staple food in the city ever since.
Ligne 4: Porte de Clignancourt–Porte d’Orléans
The underground river crossing at Châtelet was one of Fulgence Bienvenüe’s greatest technological triumphs, but these days the stations at Cité and Saint-Michel feel (and smell) as though you’re in the very bowels of the earth. It’s a highly useful dash from north to south, which means that its ageing trains are almost always jam-packed between the Gare du Nord and Montparnasse. The line also passes through some dodgy neighbourhoods, especially around the Strasbourg–Saint-Denis station, with its low-cost Chinese prostitutes.
FUN STATIONS
Saint-Germain des Prés, which hosts regular literary events, and has texts projected on to its curved walls and ceiling. This is why it’s the only métro station without advertising billboards on the platforms.
Montparnasse-Bienvenüe—the station named after the métro’s creator is actually less fun than it used to be. In 2002, the long corridor leading to Lines 6 and 13 was fitted with the fastest-moving walkway in the world—12 kilometres per hour. But there were so many accidents and panic attacks that it was taken out of service. As if to compensate, the corridor has now been decorated with literary quotations about the métro.
Ligne 5: Bobigny–Pablo Picasso–Place d’ltalie
A good line for barflies (who will find all they need at Bastille, Oberkampf, and the Canal Saint-Martin near Jacques Bonsergent) and concert-goers (the Bataclan is at Oberkampf and the Zénith and Cité de la Musique at Porte de Pantin). At the Gare du Nord, heading north, there is a wonderful example of Paris’s attempts at crowd control. The platform is painted with yellow arrows telling passengers where to stand to let people get on and off the trains. However, the arrows were all repainted after an apparent change of opinion, and if you try to follow them, you will end up doing a tango and falling under the train.
FUN STATIONS
Bastille—on the northbound platform (direction Bobigny–Pablo Picasso), you can see some of the foundations of the infamous prison that used to stand on this spot, the storming of which was one of the key moments of the French Révolution. Although, as you look at the historical stones, you might like to consider that the prison wasn’t the notorious detention centre for political prisoners that it is made out to be. When it was liberated in 1789, it held only seven inmates—four forgers, two lunatics and a count who was accused of helping his sister run away from her husband. Not exactly revolutionaries.****
Quai de la Rapée, which is in the middle of nowhere, but just after leaving it, heading south, the train winds spookily around Paris’s morgue and then performs an excellent overground river crossing, with a spectacular view towards Notre-Dame.
Ligne 6: Nation–Charles de Gaulle-Étoile
The mirror image of Line 2, it loops around the south, which is a much richer part of town. There are long overground stretches along the wide boulevards either side of Montparnasse, one of which allows you to see the 15th arrondissement without actually having to get off and be bored by it (though, to be fair, the area around La Motte-Picquet-Grenelle station is actually an oasis of liveliness). Line 6 also boasts two river bridges, one near the ‘sewing machine’ (as the hideous Ministry of Finance is locally
