And there are the Christmas decorations—miles of garland, the requisite giant red bows, the string of Christmas stockings with the employees’ names on them, the lights, the randomly placed naughty creepy miniature elves—it all adds a festive appeal.
And as the star on top of the proverbial tree, I thought it would be a good idea for the staff to wear Santa hats while working the floor, and so far, our tips have been up by forty percent. Tilly proposed we wear these red pointy hats year-round, and I haven’t exactly wiped the idea off the table just yet.
“So where we off to, Bowie?” Tilly unbuttons her blouse a notch. She’s donned a red sequin shirt that looks as if it was ripped right off the Las Vegas strip, and it really brings out that come hither look in her eyes.
“I think we’ll start with Carol Bransford. I spoke with her last night, and she mentioned that the deceased had an affair with her brother. And as it turns out, sleeping with someone’s brother seemed to be a trend Holly was keeping to faithfully in her life. Apparently, she hooked up with Mayor Wright’s brother, too.”
“Yuppers.” Tilly nods. “I remember when that broke about a year ago. It wasn’t pretty. Before that, she was just the mayor’s nutty wife, and after that, she was the mayor’s cheating nutty wife. Word started to circulate about wanting to ouster the mayor for tainting our good town’s reputation by way of a scandal.”
“Interesting.” It sounds like the mayor has a solid motive himself, but I don’t dare breathe it in the presence of gossip-hungry patrons.
Stephanie bops over with a tray of dirty dishes before setting them down on the conveyor belt behind me.
“Regina says she wants to have an employee meeting.” My sister sheds a short-lived smile. “I guess you’re not in charge anymore, are you? Don’t think for a minute that woman isn’t gunning to take back what’s hers. I’m talking, both your position and your man.”
I’ll admit, the thought doesn’t sit well with me, but it doesn’t surprise me either. Regina has made it crystal clear on more than one occasion that she’s still very much interested in both.
The queen of mean, Regina, struts up at the same time as Thea and Flo.
Regina has donned a tiny red and white Mrs. Claus outfit that looks better suited for the bedroom than it does the floor of any wholesome eatery.
“Hear ye, hear ye.” She sheds a snide smile my way. “I motion this staff meeting get underway.”
Stephanie leans in. “And I motion we make that hot dress you’re wearing our brand new uniform.”
Tilly raises her hand. “I second that motion.”
Flo grunts. “Only if it comes in black.” Flo is sort of our very own Goth princess with her overdyed shock of black hair, black nail polish, lipstick to match, and I’m pretty sure blush, too. She’s prone to wear leggings and oversized sweatshirts in the same somber tone, and her go-to footwear consists of a pair of beat-up black combat boots.
Thea is a redheaded, freckle-faced cutie with a picket fence smile and a bright disposition on just about everything. I doubt she’d be caught dead in that glorified naughty nightgown.
Thea shrugs. “If the dress fits, I’m in. I’ve seen those tips lying around on your tables, Regina. And I could really use some spare change this holiday season.”
Leave it to Regina to turn the dress code into something far more fitting for a brothel.
Regina sheds the glorious smile of a villain. “You can always count on me for having your best interests at heart. In fact,” she plucks off her Santa hat and dumps a fistful of tiny papers into it from her apron, “we’re doing a Secret Santa exchange this year.” She takes a moment to scowl my way. “Just because I’m no longer the manager, it doesn’t mean we need to break with a long-standing tradition.”
Thea belts out a whoop. “I hope you get me again this year, Regina.” She bounces her brows at my sister and me. “Last year, she gave me a genuine cashmere shawl. I still wear it all the time, and it’s so ritzy even Opal asked to borrow it once. Of course, I haven’t seen it since I lent it to her, but I can’t wait to find out what you’ll get me this year.”
We all take turns pulling a name out of the hat. Flo draws twice because she claims to have gotten herself the first time and I draw last and get Regina.
I shoot Flo the stink eye because I’m suddenly regretting going last.
The girls take off for the floor once again, and Stephanie leans in. “Who’d you get? I got Tilly.”
“I want Tilly,” I say. “How about we trade?”
She snatches the paper from me and belts out a laugh. “Sorry, sis. This one is all you. I have a few ideas about what Tilly might like. If I were you, I’d hit the voodoo doll section when picking up something for Regina. Or cut to the quick, and make one of yourself for her.”
Before I can give a snippy comeback, or agree, the bell chimes on the door and for a fleeting moment I’m hoping it’ll be my own tasty stud muffin stepping inside. But it’s not Shep. It’s those men from last night—the mobsters vaguely disguised as something wholesome and right like the naughty elf himself.
Stephanie gasps as they make their way over. “Well, hello there, Hot Stuff One and Hot Stuff Two. Say, the two of you aren’t interested in making my bare-chested Santa
