The lesson Clark was, no doubt, brought here to learn hit her just as hard. She’d been so certain Miller’s Point needed the festival to stay together, never once considering that it wasn’t the festival keeping them together at all. It was their love for one another. Nothing could break that, not even a businessman with a heart of steel.
“Do you…” His voice shook. A grumbling sound came from his throat as he attempted to no avail to clear it. “Do they do this every year?”
“No. This is the first time they’ve done this. At least, I’ve never seen it before, and I’ve worked with them since I was seven.”
“So, they just came together on their own? To celebrate?”
“Yeah. I think so.” When he didn’t reply, she gave him a slight nudge. There was emotion in his eyes she’d never seen before, a fullness she didn’t recognize. “Are you okay? Do you want to leave? Do you want me to leave?”
Clark ran a hand through his golden locks and stammered, two things Kate wasn’t sure she’d seen him do.
“No, please. Will you…” He trailed off, voice thick with emotion. “Will you sit here with me for a while? I need to think. I want to watch.”
At the edge of a hill that might have been the edge of the world, they sat in the damp grass, not caring how the wet seeped into their clothes. They shared in the awe of the sight before them. Clark promised to take everything from the people of Miller’s Point. Kate promised to do everything to get it back. Yet, there they were. Spending the most sacred night of the year being in fellowship together, lifting their voices up and coming together as a community. There was nothing there but their love for one another and their belief in the goodness of this holiday.
Kate’s humility consumed her. She thought she needed to save the world, but really…what was she doing? Trying to make herself the town hero? Trying to force herself into the center of a conflict that wasn’t really there? Was she really so self-obsessed to think anyone in this town needed her? That it would die if she didn’t save the day? She swallowed hard to hide the tears. She didn’t want Clark to see them.
“What’s wrong?”
Rats. Too late. Clark saw everything; Kate considered it his worst quality. Too perceptive. She sniffled.
“It’s just beautiful, that’s all.”
Until now, they’d been sitting an honest distance apart. Close enough to feel his heat, but far enough that she thought he couldn’t easily reach out and touch her. Another miscalculation. His warmth wrapped its way around her as his arm crossed her shoulders and pulled her into his side. At first, she resisted. But it felt so nice. Beyond nice to be held when she wanted to fall apart in her own shame. She’d lived in Miller’s Point her entire life and still didn’t understand anything about it. Collapsing into his side, she welcomed his chaste embrace. There wasn’t a bit of harm or prowl in it. It comforted her.
“I’ve never seen anything like this.”
“Me either.”
“I thought it was just for the money, you know? A way to drum up tourism for a few months a year, but you all really love Christmas, don’t you?”
“We love each other.” All the ways she could think of to describe the sensation either fell short or sounded profoundly cheesy. Better to be accurate. “I think Christmas is just the excuse to love each other publicly.”
The empty field whistled behind them, and their voices stayed in whispers. Being overheard was an impossibility here. Still, they couldn’t help but confide in one another as though they stood in the middle of a crowded room. Time danced on the edge of a cliff while Clark’s chest tightened and his heart hitched in his chest, a movement of muscles Kate heard loud and clear. Her head on his shoulder felt better than any pillow.
“I can’t imagine loving anyone that much. Or being loved by anyone that much. It’s almost freezing, and they’re out there singing.”
“Really? You’ve never loved anyone that much?”
What a sad, empty life. Kate could barely imagine the darkness of a life lived unloved. No wonder he resented them so much at the start. Kate’s nightmares could only conjure up who she’d be without the love of her town.
“My parents, but…” She marveled at the careful way he considered his words. Upon meeting him, she pegged him as the decisive, cold type who spoke and assumed his words would have the desired impact because he said them with such authority. “I think sometimes I forget what loving them felt like. Like, I buried it so deep for so long that it doesn’t feel right anymore. I’m remembering a memory of a memory so I don’t know if it’s real or imagined.”
From her place on his chest, Kate couldn’t get a good view of him. Maybe it was for the best she didn’t. He needed her compassion, but he didn’t need her romance. Torn between his bewitchingly handsome face and her convicted town, she settled for playing with a loose thread on his hastily acquired overcoat.
“I think anyone’s capable of that kind of love,” she said.
“Even me?”
She’d never heard two words so filled with the promise of hope if confirmed and the threat of despair if denied.
“Especially you.”
Neither of them were wearing watches. They didn’t dare look at their phones. There was no way of marking time except for the passing of songs from the assembled crowd below. Kate and Clark remained frozen in their poses, two breathing statues carved from flesh and awe, entranced by the groundswell of spirit coming from Miller’s Point.
“Do you want to go down there?” Kate asked as the music paused long enough for someone—Kate swore she recognized Miss Carolyn, with her fake antlers stuck on her head of silver hair—to walk up to the podium for
