I ease back, noting a hint of nerves on her face at what we’ve just done—again. I would be upset about it if I didn’t see such obvious desire in her eyes. I clear my throat. “I’m sorry, I should see who that is. Not many people text me.”
She nods without saying a word, her fingers moving to her lips, touching them, as if she can’t believe what she just did with them.
Anxious to talk this through, to kiss her again and show her that we are nothing to be afraid of, I pick up my phone, prepared to reply and get right back to the business of me and Hadleigh. I thumb my phone open and see it’s a couple of messages from Willow.
Willow: Come quick!
Willow: OMG, come NOW.
I frown. Shit. Willow is not one to send an emergency text without good reason. “I’ve got to go. Willow needs me at home.”
“Oh. Um, okay. Is that the girl you were with that night when we first saw each other?”
“Yeah.” Distracted and somewhat worried, I shove my phone into my pocket as I stand, quickly pulling on my coat, hat, and scarf. “I’m sorry to cut this short. I know we probably have more to say to each other, but I don’t know what’s going on, and she’s freaking out.” I give a frustrated huff. “She doesn’t usually do that. I can call you later, okay?”
Hadleigh nods, her hands tucked between her legs. “Okay.”
Chapter 18
Hadleigh
I try so hard not to lose it as he walks away from me. My face falls and, unable to stop it, a single tear manages to escape my eye and slide right down my cheek before it drips onto my pant leg.
But … what the fuck is the point if he has someone at home? Willow. What kind of name is that?
I’ve been sitting here in the coffee shop stewing for a full thirty minutes before I decide I’m being ridiculous and completely unlike me.
Me: Everything okay with Willow?
I grimace, wanting to say more, wanting to rail at him for leading me on and then leaving me here. He’d told me he’d been more than excited to see me again, yet—he has a girlfriend. He’s been kissing me all while he has a girlfriend at home. In the end, I don’t say anything about it. I can be an adult when I have to be … so I just wait.
Sawyer: Yep. She’s deathly afraid of spiders, and there was a big one in her bathroom.
Me: Ah. I don’t like spiders all that much either.
Sawyer: Sorry I had to take off on you so quickly.
Me: That’s okay. I didn’t have much more to say.
Me: You and Willow are really cute together, by the way.
With that, I turn off my phone. I don’t want to hear his response. I just can’t right now.
It’s a relief to find some of my friends at the bar a few hours later because I was going to feel really pathetic drinking alone. When I approach Madison and Piper, who are seated across from Shawn while he works, I have to smile, despite my sour mood. I think it’s super sweet that Madison keeps him company most nights now that they are together. He’s such a good guy. And he’s all hers.
And then there’s Sawyer … who is Willow’s? I want to cry. I’m just so damn stupid sometimes. He’d gone rushing off to save the day for her, without even a backward look at me—me, the one his lips had just been all over. Because why? Oh, right. He lives with her. He’s with her. He’d answered all the questions I hadn’t asked by rushing off to her rescue.
Shawn nods at me as I walk up to them. “What’s up, Had?”
“I could use a drink. Then maybe I can bring myself to tell you guys.” I slide onto the cracked-leather seat of the stool next to Madison, my shoulders slumping. I feel absolutely dejected. I don’t understand how other people seem to find such nice guys when all I find are jerks. With an agitated sigh, I shove all of it aside. I don’t want to spend another minute thinking about him or what a dating dummy I am.
“Fair enough.”
Piper, who’s on Madison’s other side, leans forward so she can see me. “The talk didn’t go like you wanted?”
Madison casts a furtive look in Piper’s direction and puts a careful hand to my back, giving me a little rub. “Shawn, get this woman one of your margaritas.”
I give Madison a weak smile. “No. No, it didn’t. I don’t want to talk about it just yet. Shawn, make it a strong one like that time we all got drunk before Christmas. I could really use it tonight.”
He shakes his head a bit. “Why does everyone think I adjust the margarita to your need level? I make them the same every damn time.” I see Madison shoot him a look out of the corner of my eye, and he continues. “But, yep, I’m on it. One Shawn’s Signature Margarita coming up.”
“Thanks,” I mumble.
Once he sets it in front of me with a kind smile, I down half of it in one go. Shawn’s brows hit his hairline, but he very wisely says nothing. Smart man Madison has chosen. Smart. I play with the condensation on the side of the glass while I go through the whole day in my head. Because, yeah. I can’t help myself. I swear, sometimes I think I just like to torture myself. Honestly, it had started out okay. It wasn’t until that last little bit that everything turned upside down. That’s it! I need to focus on something else.
Peeved with myself for my inability to stop thinking about Sawyer, I glance at Madison. “How are things in the library
