I follow that up with a text.
Me: It’s not what you think. Please talk to me.
And then one to my girls, too.
Me: Ed texted another photo along with a message and Sawyer saw it while he was kitty-sitting.
Quinn: Oh, shit.
Sophia: Did you try calling?
Me: He’s not answering.
Zoey: Could you go to him? Try to explain?
Me: I’ve never been to his apartment. I don’t know where he is.
Madison: Oh, girl. I’m so sorry.
Piper: What are you going to do?
Me: I feel like I’ve done all I can until he either contacts me or I see him at school on Monday.
Sophia: Can I just say I think it’s strange he’d automatically assume you’re cheating on him or something?
Quinn: Yeah … I’m kind of mad for you.
I wince. I could so easily say the same, except I know things about Sawyer that they don’t. I know what Tara did to him and how badly it messed him up. I just need to make him see that I’m not her.
Me: I get why you’d think it’s not cool that he’d make assumptions, but I also understand why it would look that way to him.
Me: And I really feel like this is at least partly my fault.
Chapter 30
Sawyer
It’s an interesting coincidence that I’d planned to go see the finals of the regional wrestling championship, which are taking place at NHS this morning starting at nine, as part of my student teaching observations. I’d also volunteered to take a shift at the snack bar, and now I’m totally wishing I hadn’t because after last night, I’d like to just skip out on the whole damn thing.
I’d awoken this morning after a fitful sleep not feeling very confident. I’m torn up inside; I’m confused, and if I’m honest, more than a little hurt about what’s going on. Why the fuck does that man have naked photos of my girlfriend? I’m not sure when I’d started considering her mine, but to have him say in that text that she’s his had thrown me for a loop, too.
Comparisons of my relationships with Tara and Hadleigh had plagued my mind half the night. After I’d finally fallen asleep, I’d dreamed of Hadleigh wet and naked like she’d been in the photo—with Ed’s hands all over her. It’s no surprise that I feel kind of sick to my stomach this morning.
After I’ve gotten dressed, I switch my phone back on to see a message from Hadleigh. It isn’t what I think it is. Hmm. Maybe it is and maybe it isn’t, but I’m stubborn as a mule when I’m hurting. I feel crushed knowing he’s still in contact with her, still calling her his.
Out in the kitchen, Willow is attempting to cook again. I hadn’t told her what was going on, I’d just gone straight to bed last night. She eyes me warily from the cooktop where she’s burning some scrambled eggs.
Without a word, I shake my head at her, gently direct her to step aside, and start the process over again. I can feel her watching me guardedly like I’m a bomb that could explode at any given moment.
Once I’m finished cooking her eggs, I hand her a plateful and she frowns, giving me a funny look. “None for you?”
“I’m not hungry.” My jaw goes rigid as I gather my keys, wallet, and phone, then shove them into my pockets.
Willow sits at the kitchen island, jabbing a fork into her eggs. “I’m going to kill her, you know.”
Yeah, I kind of both hate and love that Willow knows me well enough to know that something is really wrong.
I pull my coat off the hook at the door and slip my arms into it, yanking it up. I mumble, “I’m just pissed and need some time to process things.”
Abandoning her food, she stands up and faces me, arms crossed over her chest. Her chin juts out. “I’m serious. I’ll kick her ass. She knows what you went through with Tara. Did she cheat? Is that what’s going on?”
I clamp my mouth shut and raise both hands to my head, scrubbing my scalp like it’ll somehow bring clarity to the situation. All at once, I burst. “I don’t fucking know. There was a photo and a text from that guy she was seeing before me and—I just don’t know what it all means. I’m confused. She says it’s not what I think, and I’m inclined to believe her because the guy is a total dick but—” I huff out a breath. I drop my arms to my sides in defeat. “Will, you can’t kick her ass or kill her.”
“Well, why the fuck not?”
The words are wrenched from my very soul. “Because I’m in love with her.”
Willow blinks and her lips part. “Oh.” Blinks again. “Well, what are you going to do? Have you even talked to her?” Willow knows me well enough to know I haven’t.
“No.” My voice is clipped. “I wasn’t ready to yet—like I said, I’m thinking and processing.”
She groans. “Sawyer. If you love her like I think you do, you need to actually communicate with her. I know this is how you get when you are frustrated, not wanting to talk to anyone, but if you want this to work …”
“I know. I do.” With a jerk, I yank up my coat’s zipper and shove my hands in the pockets. “I’ve got to go to this damn wrestling tournament because I volunteered to work at the snack bar for an hour, but then I’ll be back and can try to figure out what to do.”
Willow’s laugh is incredulous. “But isn’t the jackass she used to date the wrestling coach?”
“Yeah. I’m sure it’s going to be awesome.” I truly don’t want to be anywhere near Ed Haskin today. I’d contemplated not going
