‘You can’t retaliate, sis.’ He picks up another. ‘I’m disabled. It would be cruel.’ Another hits me in the shoulder.
‘Cut it out,’ I say, and turn to look once more up Vine Hill. The snow has eased off, and I can just make out the shape of Finn at the top, staring down at us. He turns and walks away, and a few minutes later I hear the faraway rumble of his quad bike engine.
‘It’s going to take a while for Finn to ride down.’ I’m concerned for Thomas sitting waist-deep in the snow. We really hadn’t thought this through. I look about me, try to think what to do, and notice a bench near the trees. I remember the bench from when I was here last.
I dash over, and brush away the snow from the wood. ‘Let’s get you onto this bench, Thomas,’ I say, noticing there’s an inscription on the back. I rub the snow from it.
Kyla. Forever loved.
Footprints lead to and from the farmhouse, and I wonder if Michael Collis is there.
Maddie and I carefully lift Thomas onto the seat.
‘I’m a pain in the arse,’ he says, as we lower him down, both of us breathing heavily. He shakes his head in despair, hates relying on anyone – still clings to his independence as much as he can.
‘You’re not a pain,’ Maddie says. ‘In fact, you’re amazing. My favourite man in the world.’ She kisses his cheek.
We sit down either side of him. The sun reflecting off the sheer expanse of white hurts my eyes. Eventually, Maddie gets up and heads for the sledges.
‘Do you miss, Mum, Thomas?’ I say, while I’ve got his attention. He was never an open boy, not one to rake over his life or show his true feelings, often brushing them away with humour, or quotes from Shakespeare. When he returned from America following his accident, he folded into himself. But once Maddie arrived he began making joke after joke about his situation. Even now, none of us know how he really felt – still feels – about cutting his life in the US short. How he really feels about losing the ability to walk. ‘And Lark, do you miss her?’ I go on. ‘Do you wonder where she is?’
‘Of course I miss Mum and Lark,’ he says. ‘But life goes on, doesn’t it? It has to.’
‘Bit harsh,’ I say, clapping my hands together to free the clumps of snow from my woollen gloves, as Maddie approaches, dragging the sledges behind her.
‘I have to be,’ he continues. ‘If I wasn’t, I would never get up in the morning.’ His nose and cheeks are pink on his pallid face, and the furry lapels of his hat hang down over his ears. His brown eyes are bloodshot. ‘That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t give anything to see them again. But I know it’s never going to happen. Mum’s dead, Amelia. And however much Dad thinks coming here will trigger something that will lead to us finding Lark – and despite supporting him in every way I possibly can – I don’t believe we’ll ever find her. We have to get on with our lives, sis, or we might as well be dead too.’
‘Wow!’ I say, now picking snow from my gloves. ‘You’ve really thought this through.’
Finn approaches, roaring across the snow towards us on his quad bike.
‘Here comes our hero,’ Maddie says with a giggle.
‘Gosh, that was quick,’ I say, getting to my feet, as Finn cuts the engine.
‘Yeah, this old thing can go pretty fast downhill,’ he says, turning to Thomas. ‘Let’s get you on the back, mate, before you freeze to death.’ He lifts my brother from the bench, and onto the bike. ‘You guys need to follow the track back towards the ruin. But be careful as you go; keep on the pathway. The drop is lethal.’ He climbs on the bike, and Thomas grips his waist.
‘Before you go,’ I say, ‘do you know who Kyla is?’ I point at the inscription on the bench.
Finn looks at me for some moments, before simply saying, ‘That ol’ bench has been there for years.’ He revs the engine. ‘See you at the top,’ he says, and roars away.
I lead the way up the windy path, dragging one of the sledges, Maddie close behind pulling the other. Keeping to the track, we eventually reach the top of the path, where Finn and Thomas are waiting for us.
I look down the hill, and can just make out the footprints stretching across the untrodden snow from the farmhouse to the bench. ‘Is Michael on the estate at the moment?’ I ask Finn.
‘Why?’
‘No reason – just wondered.’ I give an odd laugh that doesn’t sound like me.
‘I think he’s away. You know he’s rarely there,’ he says, and pauses for a moment, studying my face. ‘He had nothing to do with your sister’s disappearance, Amelia, if that’s what you’re thinking. He wasn’t even in the country, remember?’
‘Yes, I know,’ I say, feeling chastised.
‘We all know Jackson took her,’ he adds, sounding so certain. As certain as I’d been when I first arrived. But doubts are creeping in. What if it hadn’t been Jackson?
‘Hey, I’m still here.’ It’s Thomas, peering around Finn. ‘And freezing doesn’t begin to cover it.’
‘Let’s get you back then,’ Finn said with a laugh, and he takes off across the snow. My brother flutters his fingers at me and Maddie, and winks, despite his obvious discomfort.
‘Finn’s great, isn’t he?’ Maddie says, as though she would trust him with her life. ‘I like him a lot.’
I don’t reply – simply turn and head towards my cottage, the snow crunching under my boots. Michael Collis was abroad when my sister
