I dig my toes in and manage to turn in Pax’s arms, looking across at Seth, his face drawn and eyes glossy. Roarke is mustering every argument he can think of. Killian might actually shatter his own teeth. And Pax.
Pax is shaking.
His fingers are trembling, breath skimming over the top of my head in shaky gasps.
Roarke keeps talking, arguing for and against the idea at the same time.
None of them notice me angling towards the Spring. Shifting Pax slightly. Finding a paver in the path to wedge my foot against.
Setting myself into the exact position I need before I interrupt them, “Right, guys. This is how it is – you saved my life that day at the Manor, and I love you in this crazy deep way that I can never explain, but I’m going into that Spring –” I launch myself before the words have left my mouth.
I’m expecting Pax to pull me back, and maybe the only reason he doesn’t is because his hands are shaking so badly. My toes slide into the water, falling through without any resistance.
There should be resistance – there should be a wall.
But there isn’t, and as I slip beneath the surface I realize it’s because all four Elorsins have dived into the Spring with me.
Pax smashes into me, basically pushing me further under and managing to knock the air from my lungs at the same time. The water sucks us down, and in an instant, we’re too deep. Surrounded by endless black. There never were any walls, like the edges of the Spring on the surface fail to correspond to any sides underneath. It could go on forever down here – not that it matters.
Seth and Roarke and Killian reach out, wrapping their arms around us in a ball and almost crushing me. All of them are kicking and struggling toward the surface.
And all of them fail as we sink endlessly.
The light fades to murky shades of gray, then black. I don’t realize my eyes are still open until there’s a light – silver and pulsing – in the distance, floating towards us. All of my guys give up trying to kick for the surface and turn to stare at it. I can’t make out their features, just sense their silhouettes. Sense the way we’re suspended in the water too far down to even know which way is up anymore.
My lungs burn, and the last bubble of air escapes my lips.
Then nothing, and the weird little light thing isn’t enough to keep my body happy without air, no matter how curious I am as it begins to bob and dance in excitement. Not Seth-style excitement, more like Killian-style excitement. A little hesitant and a lot like this is going to end in pain.
Pax lights up in my mind first. Or not my mind, my senses. Killian explained it once, long ago, but the important thing is I can feel Pax again.
Commander. One. Holding my right hand and alive with rushes of static and strength. The urge to bury my nose in his shirt and smell his vanilla scent is very real – and also very impossible.
Two. Seth, my Sethy. He’s behind my right shoulder with a fistful of my shirt in one hand and a tight grip on my waistband in the other.
Three. Roarke is beside him, alive with the weight of knowledge and wisdom and regret.
Four. Killian is on my left and angled a little in front of me, with his hand reaching back and pressing flat to my stomach as if prepared to push me away from the little light thingy.
All four of them.
All in their order.
I’m completely weightless. The bubble’s gone. The potion is gone. In a strange way, I’m free.
My lungs collapse.
My eyes close.
And my mind holds one last thought for the guys I love before failing to think at all.
She jumped into the Spring!
So we jump in after her.
Time fails to hold, even as I struggle with it. Slowing it, slowing it, but not halting it, and then slipping from my grip entirely.
As soon as I’m in the water, I pull myself close, grab Seth’s arm, and secure us both in a tight ball around her. Killian even grabs her hair and tries to kick with us to the surface.
But we’re sinking like a magnet is pulling at our feet. He lets go of her hair and forces an arm between us all to press firmly against her abdomen, all of us trying to be close.
As grief rips through me, my power locks on to her soul. The potion is wearing off. I’m grateful that I can feel this close to her, and I hope that she can feel me too – then guilt kicks me in the chest for assuming we’re not going to survive this. My power has already begun to slip through my grip, so I let it. Releasing the holds so it can spread and stretch. Filling the space around Kitten.
And knowing without a doubt that her only desire right now is to be with us.
There is no way I wouldn’t want to feel her last breath. To savor each second. No matter how painful. No matter if it kills me to be here.
We stop sinking and suspend in the darkness. None of us can manage to kick to the surface – the Spring won’t let us.
Alone – except for the spark of a small light in the distance. Which is strange. It advances, and all of us shift to watch it. It hovers, watching us too.
It’s a Silvari soul.
Kitten’s heart pumps its last beat. The final moment of her life. Her body limp in our arms. Her desires gone.
Leaving her hollow and empty.
Killian screams, the sound eaten by the depths. He tries desperately to kick, thrashing and pushing toward what would be the surface. We all do our best to help him, just one last time. But it’s no good – Kitten is stuck here. Held
