I shrug, made possible by Roarke’s pain relief. “That’s not too bad.”
Killian leans forward, whispering in my ear. “You died in that Spring. That’s what had to happen. You don’t need to do it again. Ever!”
I take a deep breath. “Chuck death,” I repeat. “Death and I are engaged in an ongoing dialogue about boundaries. We’re working it out, and I’m sure we’ll come to an agreement.”
I reach under the collar of my shirt, feeling the edges of a scar that starts at the front before moving down my back.
“Are you sure any of this is a good idea? She looks really weak,” Seth says, looking past me at Pax.
“Her muscles are barely holding together. Ride too hard, and you’ll rip them apart again,” Killian says.
“We’re safe here for a night. There isn’t a Seed alive that can get in here in one night.”
“You can’t stay this close to the border,” Pax argues. “And the only thing that’s going to get her to safety so she can heal properly is distance. We’ll ride to Drayden, then on to Hirana. Jada knows what to do – she’ll get to you, and you will all meet me there or somewhere between.”
I am so utterly confused that, at this point, I give up trying to understand.
“What do you mean Jada knows what to do?” Killian asks.
Pax runs a hand down his face, looking like he needs sleep. I don’t like it when Sabers need sleep; it’s never a good sign.
“I already asked her to gather orders. She knows where Muinthel is hiding and can manipulate a few of the others. She didn’t like the idea but agreed that as soon as we arrive at the White Castle, she will be there to release us again. I need more time before Lithael confronts Beautiful – I need more time before they seal her to the Castle.”
Killian grunts and nods – approving.
Which is beginning to piss me off, but I keep my mouth shut because returning to the White Castle isn’t on the top of my list either.
“And if she’s not?” Roarke pushes.
“Then tell them we’re injured and require a rescue assignment. The Dignitaries will honor that, and it’s not a lie.”
“It will take days – maybe weeks. Lithael has no duty of care toward his Sabers –” Roarke begins.
Then Killian cuts in – “He’s going to use this to destroy us.”
“It’s worth the risk,” Thane snaps, surging forward with glowing eyes.
“Agreed,” Killian says.
I don’t agree, but my head is spinning just from the arguing, especially seeing as though Killian seems to be on both sides.
“Brother, you could be dead before we get to you.”
“No one is allowed to be dead,” I declare. They all look sharply at me, so I add, “Death is my thing – it’s not allowed to be your thing, too.”
Killian growls, getting up and pacing towards the horses before pacing back. He points at me, saying, “No,” but nothing else.
Pax stands and walks away too, declaring, “Steal one last moment because we’re leaving now.”
“Leaving?” I demand, if something so soft and weak can be called a demand.
“Shhh,” Seth says, pressing his lips to my neck and distracting me.
Completely distracting me – suddenly the other three are way over by the horses, and I’m alone in the gentle hands of Chaos.
He makes it sound easy.
Double back. Secret the potions to a secure location. Find a disbanded triune that could almost be anywhere, except I’m ninety percent sure the man will be on the Falcon estates – that’s assuming Pax and the others are willing to stake their kingdom on Tan. Then ride for the Castle and hope Jada is there. If she’s not, explain the ambush somehow. Tell them that Pax and Kitten were separated from us, which isn’t really a lie, so the TruthSeeds won’t know the difference. I can Allure anything into place when it comes to a basic truth or lie test, Darkness scares the crap out of them, and no one bothers with Seth because all of his truths are lies and his lies are often truths.
And we have to do all of that right now.
It’s too soon.
“We haven’t had a chance to talk about any of what happened,” I say.
“Talk quickly because we’re leaving.”
We’re clustered beside the horses. Seth’s lips are on Kitten’s far enough away for her not to hear us. Not that we’re keeping secrets, just keeping things simple.
The amazing thing is, even as he gently tangles his fingers into her hair and shifts to deepen their kiss, I’m not jealous. I want her next, but not now, which makes me feel uncomfortably proud of myself.
“She definitely died in the Spring?” Pax asks, his voice cracking on the key word. “I felt my heart shredding to pieces.”
“She felt completely gone from my magic. A person can’t have no desires. If I look, and I did, I should have at least felt a desire to breathe.”
“Her threads dissolved,” Killian adds. “That light brought her back.”
“I’m pretty sure – no, I’m certain – it was a soul, or part of a soul.”
They just look at me for several long breaths as the pieces line themselves up and make themselves known. Mother ordered Kitten into the Spring; she stayed there for two hundred and seventy years and came out like a mortal. Aged like a mortal. Healed like a mortal. Had no sign of a Seed. Only the slightest hint showed any Saber ancestry, enough to confuse the crap out of me. Just a little something more. Like the fact that she wasn’t afraid of us, resisted my power from day one, and managed to walk right through our wards on more than one occasion. I thought it was the bubble; all of our powers were behaving weirdly. But maybe there was more to it. Maybe the majority of what made her Saber never came out of
