I could think of one way. “If you could push that thing out before I get there that would be great.”
“Just hurry.”
I’VE NEVER BEEN A FAN OF HOSPITALS. I’m not phobic or anything, but I’m leery of germs ... and people who hide behind masks ... and that antiseptic smell that gives me nightmares of my mother getting a bug up her butt and deciding that things needed to be spring cleaned.
All of that was on my mind as we reached the maternity floor.
“I’ll wait out here.” Eliot immediately peeled off toward the lobby as I started for the desk.
Self-preservation instincts kicked in and I grabbed his hand before he could go too far. “Where do you think you’re going?”
His expression remained calm. “Right here.” He gestured toward the couch. “I won’t leave you.”
Was that supposed to reassure me? “You’re not staying out here. You’re going into the delivery room with me.”
“Oh, that’s not happening.” He shook his head, firm. “She’s your best friend.”
“Yes, and you’re my boyfriend. You’re supposed to stick with me for better and worse. I think there’s something about sickness and health in there, too. This is definitely going to make me sick.”
His smiled. “Those are marriage vows.”
I thought the top of my head was going to blow off. “Are you kidding me?”
“You picked those words.”
I couldn’t take another moment of his smugness. I really, really couldn’t take one more thing going wrong in my life. In an effort to keep myself from corking off, I pinched the bridge of my nose and looked toward the ceiling. “I need you with me.”
There was sympathy in his eyes, but determination lining his forehead. “I’ll always be there when you really need me.”
“I really need you now.”
“No, you don’t. This is between you and Carly. She’s your best friend. She needs you. You don’t need me. You just want me to act as a buffer.”
“I’m pretty sure it’s the same thing.”
“And I’m pretty sure you’ve got this.” He rested his hands on my shoulders and gave them a light rub. “You’re better at being supportive than you realize. Carly wants you right now. You have to be with her.”
“What a load of hogwash. You just don’t want to see her give birth.”
“Fine. There’s no amount of money in the world, no deviant sexual fantasies you could offer, that would convince me to go in there with you. This is your responsibility. Suck it up.”
I felt like crying. “But ....”
“No.” Adamant, he shook his head. “I’ll keep trying to get Kyle on the phone. There’s still a chance he’ll get here in time. All you have to do is talk her into keeping her legs crossed.”
Hope bloomed. “Do you think that will work?”
“I wholeheartedly doubt it.”
Oh, well, there went that idea.
CARLY LOOKED RELATIVELY CALM WHEN they let me into her room. They made me wash my hands three times (sending me back when they said I didn’t put in the proper effort), but thankfully I didn’t have to don a horrible set of salmon-colored scrubs. That’s where I drew the line.
“You look okay.” I flashed a smile as she looked up from the small cup she was eating out of. “You feel good enough to have ice cream. That means you should be able to hold on until Kyle gets here.”
The look she shot me was dark. “Ice chips.”
“Hmm?”
“Ice chips,” she repeated, holding up the cup. “It’s not ice cream. Ice chips.”
“Are there at least sprinkles in there? If not, that seems cruel.”
“It’s to keep me hydrated. I can’t have a glass of water ... or food.”
“That’s cruel and inhumane treatment. I mean, you’re about to push out a baby. You should get whatever you want. In fact, maybe I’ll start a movement or something. Chocolate cake for everyone in labor.”
I expected her to laugh. Instead, she glowered in such a way that told me if she could climb out of the bed, she would smash my head into the cinderblock wall.
“So, who wants to hear about my day?” I asked, changing the subject.
She rolled her eyes. “Nobody. Nobody wants to hear about your day. We’re here to focus on me for a change. This isn’t about you.”
“Rowr.” I made an exaggerated cat swipe with my hand and grinned. “If you’re going to be this crabby before the kid even gets here, something tells me you’ll be the least favorite parent in your house.”
Rather than laugh, as I intended, Carly burst into tears and buried her face in her hands. “You’re right. The baby is going to like Kyle so much more than me.”
“Oh, geez.” I leaned forward, unsure how to make her feel better. “I was just kidding. You know I can’t help myself from making inappropriate jokes. If you’re wondering which parent has the better sense of humor, though, that’s also Kyle right now.”
She sobbed harder. “I’m not ready for this.”
I craned my neck, looking around for someone to help — honestly, I would take anybody right now, including the custodian — and then awkwardly patted her arm. “I was just kidding. You need to lighten up. If you don’t, the first thing your kid hears will be you crying. Is that what you want?”
“No.” She refused to raise her head. “I don’t want him to hate me.”
I glommed on to the one word I could focus on and ran with it. “Him? I thought you guys were waiting to find out if you were having a boy or a girl. Now I vaguely remember you saying you were having a girl.”
“We thought we were.” She lifted her tear-stained face and the vulnerable look I found there was enough to make my heart clench. “It turns out we were wrong. It can happen sometimes if the little ... you know ... is tucked behind something.”
“Yes, I think that’s what happened to the killer in Silence of the Lambs.”
For a moment, her face
