Her eyes were glittery slits of anger. “Like what?”
“Have you considered that Rafael might be in no shape to walk? Are you going to hold him up and fight off the enemy? You might need us to carry him.”
“I’ll heal him. I’ve done it before.”
“What if you don’t have time? What if you have to run? You know as well as anyone that you might need me. I’m not going to abandon you when Sami has a multitude of other bodyguards willing to step up to the plate.”
“Oh, well, how great for Sami.” Zoe planted her hands on her hips and glared at her husband. “We’re going to fight about this later. You know that, right?”
He cocked his head. “I would expect nothing less.”
“It’s not going to be a pretty fight either.”
His smirk was evident. “That will cause the making up to be all the sweeter.”
A muscle worked in her jaw but I could tell she was trying not to laugh. “Is the Cauldron at least warded?” she asked.
Rooster nodded. “It’s warded well. Nobody can get to her as long as she’s inside. That’s why we want to hole up there.”
Zoe glanced at Sami. The girl’s look was dark, telling me she’d been listening to the entire conversation.
As if reading her mind, Rooster stepped a little closer and offered up a placating smile. “Raisin will be there, too,” he volunteered. “She’s very good at playing pool. Maybe you guys can have a tournament with a few of the others or something.”
“I get to hang at the bar?” Raisin looked positively thrilled. “You guys never let me hang at the bar.”
“This is a special occasion,” Rooster replied. “Someone needs to keep Sami entertained and you’re our best option.”
“Yay!” Raisin clapped her hands and hopped from one foot to the other. “We can get Whistler to make us Shirley Temples. They’re awesome.”
Sami nodded and forced a smile, but it was clear her mind was elsewhere. While she enjoyed her new friend, she desperately wanted her vampire back more than anything else. She wouldn’t calm herself until he’d been plucked from the clutches of the enemy.
I risked a glance at Zoe and found her studying Sami with a critical eye. When she realized I was watching her, she cocked her head. “Come on. There’s still twenty minutes until dinner and I need your help with the ghost.”
I was still uncertain what she had planned for Tim but I nodded obligingly. “Okay, but I don’t know what help he is going to be.”
“You might be surprised.”
“I’M SORRY, BUT YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?”
Tim was close to melting down when Zoe laid out her plan for him. He was so high strung in death I couldn’t help but wonder how he’d been in life. It wasn’t a pretty thing to envision.
“They’re bad people,” Zoe argued. “It’s okay to do horrible things to bad people.”
“But ....” Tim looked to me, confused. I wasn’t sure how to respond so I merely shrugged. Really, what was I supposed to say?
“So basically you’re saying you want me to find these people wherever they’re hiding in the woods, come back and tell you, and then go back and talk to them like I’m from New Jersey?” Tim looked positively apoplectic at the thought.
“I just threw the New Jersey thing in as an example,” said Zoe. “You don’t need to adopt an accent or anything. I just want them off their game.”
“You want me to say sexually suggestive things to the women.” Tim wrung his hands together. “I don’t know if I can do that. It’s rude.”
“You stare at women through windows while they’re changing clothes,” Zoe argued. “It doesn’t get any weirder than that.”
“Only the women who change in front of open windows,” he insisted, frustration edging his tone. “That’s not against the law ... or rude ... or crude ... or perverted. If they don’t close the curtains, then they want someone to look.”
Zoe rolled her eyes. “I’m pretty sure you’re making that up in your head. I don’t care, though. This mission is sanctioned. You’re allowed to be a jerk.”
“But ...” he glanced at me, “I don’t think I’ll be any good at being a jerk. I’m a gentleman. My mother always told me it was important to be a gentleman.”
Since the statement was directed at me, and he was technically my perverted ghost, I felt the need to respond. “Haven’t you ever wanted to be a bad boy, Tim? I mean, deep down, part of you probably has always wondered what it would be like to be that guy.”
Tim tilted his head. “I don’t know. What if I upset them and they try to hurt me?”
“You’re dead,” Zoe pointed out. “They can’t hurt you. The worst has already happened.”
“They can yell, call me names.”
“So call them names right back.”
“I’ve never been good at thinking of comebacks on the spot.”
“I’ll give you a list.” Zoe smiled encouragingly. “I’m really good at it. I’ve been saving up some for years. You’ll look like a genius, and it might be good for you to express yourself in a way that doesn’t included whacking off in the woods.”
I fought to swallow my laughter. She was blunt and hilarious. However, Tim’s expression told me he didn’t exactly appreciate her humor.
“I don’t do that!” Tim gasped, officially scandalized. “That’s what perverts do.”
“You’re a pervert,” Zoe insisted. “I mean, come on. You watch women through windows. You can’t tell me you don’t get sexual gratification from that.”
“I’m a ghost. I can’t touch myself.”
“I ... huh.” Zoe’s forehead wrinkled. “I hadn’t really thought about that. If you can’t enjoy yourself while watching, what’s the point of doing it?”
“I happen to admire the female form.”
Zoe folded her arms over her chest and stared him down.
Tim stared back for as long as he could manage and then quickly averted his gaze. “Fine. I might’ve touched myself when I was alive,” he conceded. “I’ve evolved now. I don’t do things
