“It's three a.m. Your stuff is in storage, remember?”
“So you’re saying I have nowhere to go?” My question is like lighting a cigarette in the middle of the dusty old crop field, begging for a brush fire. The only goal of mine is to start a fight, and if Evan speaks, he’s automatically looped into it. He stays silent. I add, “FYI: I can always hole up at Jamie’s or my mom’s! Now, aren't you gonna say I'm good at running away when the going gets tough?”
He shakes his head. “Fuck no, because we are training you away from leaving—”
“Training me?” I jab a thumb toward my chest.
“Damn straight, Reese, you are mine, you ain’t leaving.”
My lips bunch together.
“Get back in bed, Reese. Enjoy your tea.”
Instead of doing as told, I place the mug on the nightstand. Then I take another glance at Evan before getting back into bed.
The light goes out, flooding us in darkness. God, I love this man, but it's true. The day I fell for Evan, is the day guilt began to gnaw at my bones and like talons, squeeze at the part of my heart which would always be reserved for my father, no matter how evil Milo was.
My eyes close to the burn of tears, and my body sinks into the comforting mattress. I turn on my side, away from the man I never should have given a second glance at.
A strong arm weighs down my waist. Then a second later I'm pulled back into the strength of Evan’s lean, muscular body.
I mouth an apology, as if the meaningfulness of it has evaporated into his skin, he holds me closer. My eyes close hard, and I blink back tears of joy. From experience, I’m aware that our relationship isn’t going to work out. I’ll break his heart in my inability to express myself. He’ll… What will Evan do to fuck things up for us? Endeavoring to cling to the here and now, I hold myself against his side, his rib.
36
Evan
My body tenses. Not because of Reese’s mouth, I’d expected to curb that attitude of hers in time. When shit is up, everything is worth it. She gifts me with a smile so bright, that nothing in this world is comparable. When shit is down, everything is all bad. But my fucking ribcage is bruised and bandaged, from the force and weight of Hector Rodriguez’s blow. The pain medication I’m on is beginning to wear off. As she clings to me, I clench my jaw to the dulling pain.
About ten minutes later, there is no soft lull, the sound of her sleeping softly could very well bring me peace enough to sleep. But she’s not at peace, she’s fighting a war that she won’t fucking tell me about.
This is gonna be a long night. “Talk to me, Reese?”
“I really should just go…” Reese murmurs.
I push myself up, slower than I did when she flew into a seated position about a half hour ago due to whatever night terror that motherfucker of a father put her through. I took a Vicodin as directed ninety minutes ago, shit, the hospital tried to get me to stay the night over some bullshit as a bit of swelling. But here I am, I returned home for her. I flick on the light, and glare at the pain pills on the nightstand.
“What do you mean, you should go? It’s the middle of the night, Reese. We’ve been over this. You have two choices, two choices only. Talk to me now. Or talk to me in the morning. I promise you, that hightailing it doesn’t even make the list of shit I won’t allow. Leaving should be so far removed from your mind right now, because you are my woman.”
“Evan, you can’t train me. You can’t fuck me into submission!” She glares at me. “And I sure as hell have never been a kept woman! How about that?”
Though Reese is a ball of fury, her dark-brown eyes are full of angst and questioning me. Her body language is geared toward flight. Only her eyes sparkle with the curiosity of why I love her. Why a woman so fucking broken, so submerged into confliction has become my choice… Reese Dunham is like no other female I have ever encountered. Each second in her presence is new, it’s me working to gain her affection and love.
Jaw clenched to pain, I grab her thigh and pull her closer.
She scampers to her knees. In an instant, I’m on mine too as we face off.
“So you’re gonna fuck me into submission, Evan? I won’t say I love you, I never will. I never did with Grayson, and we were together longer…”
My lips are a line. She brought up that prick.
“He said it all the time. Every day and fuck just saying it, Evan, Grayson meant the words. Love was in everything he did. Aren’t I acting like a bitch?”
I nod. “Now, shut up,” I say, the faint echo of pain has faded away. My hand skims her slender neck and clamps onto it. Her chin is high, jutted out. I kiss her lips. “Shut the fuck up, Reese. I will not hear about another motherfucker while we are in bed. You are mine. Everything from that smile of yours to crazy-ass ideas like battling to the death for dinner after I’ve barely fucking made it home. I. Make. It. Home. For. You, Reese.”
Tears sparkle in her eyes now. She’s silently dejected, cognition on a grain of toxins: the thought of me never coming home. I see it now, my call earlier, telling Reese I wouldn’t be home so soon has poisoned her mind and set her mind frame on the flight or fight zone. She doesn’t want to fight.
“You make it home for me, Evan? You always try to put me first. That’s something that I can’t reciprocate. I can’t love you, Evan. Just leave me, Evan, I should
