“Aunt Kourtnee?” I mumbled to myself. Kourtnee was my cousin Keisha’s mother and has been MIA for over ten years. She left Keisha and her younger siblings and never came back from them. After that, they have been with our grandparents since then. Unfortunately, our Papa Kel passed about six years ago, so Grandma Pep took on the full responsibility of the kids. Nobody could explain or think of a reason why Kourtnee would leave her kids like that. It has been years since I’ve seen her. But I remember her face because my mother kept pictures of her all around our house. She honestly looked the same; same beige skin, long dark brown hair, and such a beautiful smile. I always said that she reminded me of a model or vixen. I tried to get a little closer so I could get a good look at her. It was hard because she was carrying on with the old heads out there. I couldn’t tell if she was drinking too, but she seemed to have a good time. I know that she battled with a drug addiction since her early teens, but I didn’t want to assume anything. I honestly didn’t know what to do, so I just decided to try my luck and call out her name.
“Kourtnee!” I shouted then ran behind a half brick wall near the apartment entrance. I peeked my head over it and saw that she was looking around, trying to locate who called her. Was that my aunt? I was too shy to approach her, but I owed it to my cousin to get answers. She deserved to know if her mother was still alive or not, but would that hurt her if she knew that she was? As I looked over the wall again, I saw that she started to walk away. Shoot!
“What took you so long?” Jemar asked when I finally made it into the apartment.
“I thought I saw somebody I knew,” I said as I came out of my coat and hung it in the closet near the door. I turned around and noticed that there was a big ass Christmas tree in the corner of the living room. It was nicely decorated and lit with a huge gold star on top. There were presents all around the tree wrapped in sparkly wrapping paper. I looked at Jemar, and he was smiling with his hands tucked in the pockets of his joggers. I also noticed that the apartment had been cleaned and actually smelled good.
“Jemar, what’s this?” I asked, still in shock by this surprise.
“I wanted you to come home to a clean house and a little surprise. I hardly decorate for Christmas since I usually go visit my dad at the prison. Still, since this our first Christmas together, I wanted it to be one you remembered.”
“That’s so sweet, bae. Thank you! Are all those gifts for me?”
“Most of them are, but a couple of them are for the baby. I was told to get a neutral color shit since we don’t know the sex yet. I did buy a crib, though. We have to clear the other bedroom out first, then I’ll put it up.”
“Jemar…” I said, then started crying. Maybe my mother wasn’t right. Perhaps we can make this work. And he can be a great father and potentially a good husband.
“What’s wrong? It’s too much? You don’t like it?” He asked as he grabbed my chin, searching for answers through my eyes.
“I love it. I’m just overwhelmed. I didn’t expect this at all. I honestly didn’t even know you had this side to you.” I confessed. Jemar and I just started dating this year, and we definitely jumped into things too fast. Technically we’ve only been together for about six months. And already there was a baby on the way, and we were living together. I know we already said I love you, but I still feel like I didn’t know him as well as I should have before I gave him my virginity.
“I know, babe. I don’t always show this side of me, but this is a side that I promise to show you more. I want to do right by you and my child. I really do love you, Bre, and I promise I won’t do anything to hurt you.” He said. I honestly felt like this was a lie, but I foolish and willing to try to give him another chance. I just hope this doesn’t end up biting me in the ass.
January
2016
9. Bre
January 2016
And it did. Literally, days later Jemar was back on his bullshit. I got up to fix us breakfast, and right after we ate, he mentioned that he had to go handle some business. I didn’t think anything of it since everything seemed okay, and I didn’t want to argue. So while he was gone, I set up my new phone that he bought me and put some of the presents up he bought. And I also took the time to make a list of everything we needed for the baby. Once I had my phone set up, I texted him so he would have the number. Hours went past, and I never heard from him. I started to get worried and immediately started calling his phone. He eventually answered after thirty calls and said he was on his way
