“I don’t know. I’m not going to stop him from pursuing a relationship with his daughter. Still, shit is definitely not going to be sweet.”
“You trust him?”
“Not really, but I don’t want Janelle growing up and feeling like I kept her from him even though I have every right to. If she doesn’t have a relationship with him, it’s because of him and not me.”
“I understand. Do you think he’s going to come around, especially after what happened?”
“Probably not. He’s a coward, and he knows what he did was wrong. He’s not going to want to face me.”
“Do you want to face him?”
∞∞∞
“She’s so pretty!” Alexis screamed.
“Shhhh! Not so loud.” Raquel scolded her while she held Janelle, who was sleeping peacefully. My family was now visiting me, well us, and I was happy to have them around. Grandma Pep came through an hour ago with my cousins, Kalliyah, Kamille, Keshawn, and Alexis. I had a minute to Facetime Keisha and give a quick update. I didn’t feel comfortable showing my baby off since knowing her plans for hers, but I know that she was happy for me. After they left, Alexis stayed with my other siblings so she could spend more time with the baby. Wayne and Eric were sitting on the couch that was in the corner. They were quiet, I guess, just waiting for me to spill the beans—Alexis and Raquel was by my side on the bed. My room had been filled overnight with balloons, gifts, flowers, and cards. Most were from my family, but Chianne and Roon contributed to most of the balloons in the room. Chianne had been around all night, too, but decided to give me some time with my family while she went home to change and rest a little. She definitely seemed a little bothered with Eric being around. And every time he found a reason to be close to her, she had a very irritated facial expression. I know Eric could be annoying at times, but this seemed different, and I was quite curious about what was up with them.
Anywho, this was my second day in the hospital, and my doctor said I would be released in about two days. After my conversation with Ricky, I got sleepy myself. I ended up falling asleep after the nurses came to take Janelle back to the nursery. By the time my family came to see me, I was already sleeping. And instead of leaving because the visiting hours were over, they somehow got to stay in my room all night. I knew I wanted to talk to them and speed them up on what was going on with me. I know they cared about me and would care about Janelle just as much. I’m not sure how much I’m willing to tell them, because Wayne and Eric were crazy like my dad. Raquel would probably feel bad and become a mama bear. Wayne and Eric were loose cannons, so no telling how they would react to hearing Jemar put hands on me.
“Sorry,” Alexis said as she kissed Janelle’s cheek.
“It’s okay.” I smiled. I knew that she was so happy about a new baby being around.
“I’m going to be the best Auntie ever!”
“I know you are. Janelle doesn’t know what she’s about to get herself into.” Raquel shook her head. Just then, Janelle started to stir in her sleep and burst out crying. Poor Alexis thought she did something wrong and quickly handed her off to Quel, who began to rock her.
“Sorry, Bre. I didn’t mean to.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, she’s probably hungry,” I said and reached my arms to retrieve my baby. I was determined to give Janelle all of these nutrients from my breasts because they will be filled with milk. Homegirl was going to love the free milk because the way my breasts were already hurting, she better appreciate every sip.
“You hungry, mama?” Quel said in her baby voice as she handed Nelle to me. I pulled my hospital gown down to expose my left breast and allowed Nelle to latch on. I can’t lie the first time she tried, it didn’t work out, but after a nurse showed me how to get her to, it worked.
“Wow, she’s hunnnnnnngryyyyy.” Alexis giggled. I saw Wayne and Eric out of the corner of my eyes, frowning up their face.
“Why y’all looking like that?” I said with an attitude. They were my brothers, and since Wayne was a father, I would think he would cool with seeing me feed my daughter. However, I don’t think Aniyah breastfed the girls, so this was new to him.
“It’s just weird seeing you….feed her...like that. You can’t put that in a bottle or something. I don’t want to see your titty.” Eric said as if he was disgusted.
“It’s just a breast. Y’all probably sucked on plenty.” Quel said while rolling her neck. She handed me one of Nelle’s baby blankets. I frowned. “What?”
“I don’t want to cover up. I don’t want to be one of those women who gets shamed for wanting to feed her child publicly. Y’all are my family. I should be able to feed her without somebody feeling uncomfortable.” I expressed.
“It’s fine, Bre do your thing. Eric and I will step out for a minute until you’re finished.” Wayne said as he got up from the couch, and Eric followed him out of the door.
“They are so dramatic,” Quel said as soon as they walked out. I just shook my head and continued to feed Janelle.
“Does it hurt?” She asked as she stood over me, watching Nelle feast.
“A little, the nurse told me the pain will go away once my breast gets used to the feeling. But I don’t mind the pain as long as my baby is happy and fed.”
“She definitely is happy and fed. She’s already getting a little chunky.”
“No, she’s not!”
“Yes, she is. She was getting a little heavy in my arms when I was holding
