Daisy.
I adjusted my shoulders, rolling the tension away from them. Less threatening, more open, that’s how I needed to be.
I pushed my hood off my head. See my face? I’m still me. That’s what the gesture was supposed to see. Just like I couldn’t miss her in a crowd of a million people, for some reason, I expected she wouldn’t be able to miss me. Especially not when I was sitting all to my lonesome. But she didn’t even look my way. She had an absent sort of scowl on her face, the kind people get when they’re staging an argument in their heads. Maybe I should have just sat there. I probably should have left, walked in the opposite direction. Stayed out of her way. But I had waited six long years to finally be able to talk to her again. There was no way I was going to wait any longer.
I draped my backpack onto my shoulders and started after her, following her into the store. Surprisingly enough, she was already at the register when I made my entrance. Apparently her life didn’t allow for wasting time scanning shelves or pondering what to buy and what not to buy. She came in, knew what she wanted, and when she had it, made moves to get the hell out. The cashier had other plans for her though, chatting her up like they’d been long lost friends.
“Dang, Daisy! Another case already? What’re you doing out there, throwing frat parties?”
“You know me, Douggie. Gotta get my drink on.” Her tone was light-hearted and playful, but I knew her well enough to know it was forced. Looked to me like her dad had taken his habit to the next level. Why she insisted on protecting his reputation I would never understand.
Douggie laughed. “The drunk librarian, huh? Sounds like the name of a song.”
“You should write it,” she said with a grin that didn’t meet her eyes. She handed over the money—exact change, damn she did do this a lot—and sent her good-byes to Douggie over her shoulder. She was looking down at the floor in front of her. Oblivious to the world around her, she still hadn’t seen me.
“Can I help you with that?” I asked.
She stopped short, every muscle tightening as the blood rushed out of her face. When she looked up at me, her eyes were deep wells of sorrow and rage. She didn’t answer. Instead, she pressed her lips together in a thin, angry line and pushed past me.
I followed her out. Matching her step for step.
“You got a long way to go carrying that case,” I pointed out. “Let me help you with it. I’ll take it halfway, ease some of the burden for you.”
Daisy kept walking, not answering, trying to pretend that I wasn’t next to her. I must admit, she was doing quite a fine job in the ignoring department too. But her arms were starting to shake. When the bottles in the box started clanking together, threatening to break, I took the box from her.
“Woah, woah! That’s a lot of money gone if you drop it. I got it, it’s okay. Come on, I’ll walk you home.”
I turned and took a couple steps, but didn’t hear her come with me. I turned around to find her still standing there, trembling and glaring at me like I’d just stepped out of a Stephen King movie.
“No.” She almost spat the word.
“What?”
She stormed up to me and snatched the case back out of my hands “I said no. You listen and you listen good, Kash Lawson. You stay away from me and what’s left of my family or so help me god I will put you in the ground with Hunter.”
She walked away and didn’t look back. A detached numbness washed over me, coating my insides before my heart shattered.
She thought I killed him.
Chapter 2
I barely made it out of sight before I broke down.
How dare he show his face here?
How dare he try to talk to me?
How dare he act like he can just pick up where he dropped off?
Years of silence and now he just casually walks up and tries to help me?
I was shaking too hard, my hands practically vibrating. If I held on any longer, I was going to drop the case and Kash would be right, I’d spent too much money to end up losing it all on the pavement. I stopped, catching my breath as I set the case down on a stump next to the gravel road and curled my body into a ball. Don’t scream, don’t scream. He hadn’t followed me, but he would hear it if I screamed.
A river of tears ran down my face and soon enough, I found that I couldn’t catch my breath. It was like a fist made of fire had captured my chest and was squeezing, squeezing so hard I could feel my heart push against my throat.
Kash. His name sliced through my skull and I shut my eyes tighter against the pain. I shoved a fist against my mouth, smothering the sounds of agony that threatened to echo through the night.
I’d given him every chance to redeem himself in my eyes. I’d made excuses for him. Rationalized all the evidence away. He couldn’t have done that. Not my Kash. He wouldn’t have killed my brother, that was insane. He wouldn’t have killed his best friend. Not Kash. I knew him better than that. He loved Hunter too much to have done it. Deep in the marrow of my bones, I knew it. So much so that I had sent him letters while he
