I had a pep in my step as I made my way to the front door. Good reactions flooded my mind, though deep down, I’m pretty sure I knew the odds weren’t on my father accepting Kash and me easily. Still, until the day came, the least a girl could do was dream.
I stuck my key into the lock and hadn’t even gotten the door half open before my heart sank to the bottom of my stomach. My mom’s scream shattered my focus and all the confidence that went along with it. I burst through the door just as the back of my dad’s hand connected with her cheek. I slammed the door hard enough to make the entire damn house shake like the earth beneath it had been struck by Thor.
Pure, white rage took over my voice. “What the fuck?!”
Time froze. Mom stared at the floor, breathing hard. Dad turned around slowly and stared at me. My brain screamed at me to run, but my feet were stuck in place. Rage and terror churned through me until I shook, hands clenched into fists.
“David.” My mother’s voice sounded distant, eerily calm. So calm that I had to look at her. The look on her face didn’t match the tone of her voice. Not one little bit. “Get out,” she barked, her eyes still trained on my father.
I tensed, waiting for my father to explode on her again. Instead, he deflated. Shoulders hunched, he slithered past me, avoiding my eyes. With a flick of his hand, he snatched his keys off the counter. Windows rattled as he slammed the door behind him. The house was dead silent until his car crunched away over the gravel road, then mom let out a breath which bordered on a sob.
“Mom?”
She rubbed her cheek and started tidying up the room.
“Mom, what happened? Has he hit you before? Talk to me!”
She stopped to brush the hair out of her face and shot me an irritated look. “I’m fine. No, he doesn’t make a habit of it. He’s stressed out about money. I told him to go to the staffing agency and he lost his temper. He’ll be fine. He just needs to go for a drive and clear his head and he’ll see that I’m right. Then he’ll stop for a drink and everything will go back to normal.”
I ground my teeth. “You say that like you’ve been through this before.”
She sighed and went back to her nervous cleaning. “Daisy,” she whispered, “when you’re with someone for as long as I have been with your dad, you learn things about them. Things you don’t like. Things you never thought possible.” She gave me a strange, faraway sort of look that stole just about the last of my breath. “And a lot can be forgiven when you understand where it comes from.”
I scoffed, stunned. “Forgiven? You can’t forgive that! Mom, he hit you!”
“Am I bleeding? Am I bruised? No.” Her eyes flashed defiantly at me and her face hardened, her lips pulled into a thin line. “And he’s never hit you, not since you were ten, and never more than a spanking. He’s a good man, Daisy. He just has trouble controlling his temper sometimes. There is nothing more to it than that.”
I wish I could say that I fought with her for hours and eventually talked sense into her, but I can’t. I was so stunned and sickened by the whole thing that I barely lasted another five minutes before storming off to my room to cry.
The whole episode had shaken me to my core, forcing me to question not only my mom’s sanity, but my own.
How long had this been going on?
How had I not seen it before?
Suspected, sure, but I should have known for sure. I should have done something. Asked her if this kind of thing was going on before I had to see it for myself. She was right, they’d been together for ages. So long that I’m sure dust has covered the memory of just how and when they met.
When was the first time he put his hands on her? And how many times has he reddened her face with the full width of his palm. I felt like I was going to be sick. My stomach churned, threatening to turn inside out. Anger didn’t even begin to explain what I was feeling.
I slinked my way into the bathroom and grabbed my toothbrush like it was a weapon. The three minutes it took to brush my teeth felt like an eternity. So many thoughts pummeled my mind that my brain felt thoroughly exhausted by the time I made it to my room. I shrugged my way out of my jeans and pulled on an old t-shirt before hiding between the discomfort of my sheets.
As I cried myself to sleep that night, there was only one thing that I was certain of. There was no way in hell I was going to tell my dad about Kash. Not in public, not in private, not at all. My instincts had been right on the money.
Vindication never felt so shitty.
Chapter 22
Lizzie’s sudden appearance at the library the day before had been my first lucky break in years. She knew just about everybody and if she didn’t know them, she sure knew how to find them. She’d been Hunter’s grassroots network back in the day, and I knew she played some part in getting my ass released, even if I didn’t know exactly what part that was.
She hadn’t known a Dayle Jenkins by name, but she had heard rumors about some older guy selling to teenagers and was willing to look into it for me. Well, not right away. She’d had to tear into me first, which I could
