“What the hell are you talking about, Leroy?”
His good eye shifted back and forth at hyper speed. “You still sellin’?”
“Man, I just got out of prison. I ain’t even showered yet. You gonna give me a room?”
“Yeah, yeah, sure thing man, sure thing. But listen, uh—you know when you left, it put me in a bind. I needed mine, y’hear?”
“I hear you, I hear you,” I said, getting bored of his yammering real quick. “Gimme a key, Leroy.”
“I jus’ want you to know, I’m loyal as they come, lord help me if I’m not the most loyal friend a man’ll ever have.”
“Great.”
“So?” He stared at me expectantly, one hand on the room key I needed.
“So what?”
“You gon’ start your, erm—business again? ‘Cause if you are, I’ll move some stuff around. You know me, ol’ Leroy, I’m loyal as they come.”
“You gonna hold my room hostage until I tell you yes?”
“No, no, no hostages here. I know what you do to hostages.” He chuckled nervously and pulled the key off the wall but held it tight in his fist. “What’d Hunter do to you anyway?”
“Nothing.” God I was tired of talking about this. “Not a damn thing. Now give me my damn key.”
“Hol-hold on, hold on, you went and killed a man who ain’t done nothing to you? Well that makes me downright nervous, Kash. I don’t know if I want you in my hotel.” Leroy stared hungrily at me. Nervous my ass.
“Bet it wouldn’t make you nervous if I told you I was gonna be setting up shop here,” I said.
His face split into a rotten grin because, well, of course it did. “There you go! That’s the Kash I know. Here’s your key, you’re gonna be in room 314. Jes’ sign here—gonna be $665 for the month.”
I blinked and widened my eyes at him. “Thought this place was a hundred a week, Leroy.”
“Inflation, man, I can’t help it. What’s the matter, you ain’t got it?”
“I got six hundred total. No, wait…” I stopped and took out the money the bits and pieces of cash that jingled in my pockets. I pulled a couple bills away from the rest of the cash and then started counting. “Five hundred and…ninety dollars and…wait…five cents. Thought I might like to eat sometimes too, so I kept something back,” I said, patting the few dollars I’d skimmed from the pile.
Leroy stroked the thin wisps of tangled hair he thought was a beard and smirked at me. “Well, look here—I might be able to cut you a deal, seeing as we’re old friends and all.”
“Is a tick really friends with a dog?”
His smirk fell and he scowled. “Man, you’re about to talk yourself out of a room.”
I grinned. “Sorry, go ‘head.”
“What I was gonna say was, this place needs work done on it. Historical society day’s comin’ up, and I can’t afford another damn fine. City said they’d pay the last one since they’re the ones dead set on getting this dump landmarked, but they ain’t done it. You know anything about wiring?”
“I know how to use the internet,” I said blandly.
“Well then use it. I need these wires uncrossed by the end of the month. You do that, I’ll let you stay here for—say…two hundred and fifty?”
He would hold this favor over my head for the rest of my life and I knew it. Camping out in the woods behind Daisy’s place was starting to sound like a viable option—but I really did want that shower. One with soap and a curtain and privacy.
“All right, you got a deal.” I stuck my hand out to shake his crusty paw, then snatched it back at the last second. “But! You have to promise you won’t be pestering me for anything. No tree, no glass, no nothing. I’ve got eyes on me, man.”
“Yeah, yeah, sure man, I promise. But—you are gonna get back in it though, right?”
I shook his hand and snatched the key, leaving his question unanswered. “Two hundred and fifty dollars a month plus handyman junk. Deal?”
“Deal, deal, but come on man, you are gonna start selling again, aren’t you? Dayle charges too much and his dogs are mean. Look!”
He tugged up his sleeve to show me a bite mark which had clearly needed stitches and antibiotics weeks ago and had gotten neither. I swallowed a gag.
“Maybe you shouldn’t be pissing the dogs off then.”
“I didn’t do nothin’. It was Dayle shorting me, I saw the scale man, I read the same numbers he did and he had me shorted.”
“What eye did you read them with?” I grinned.
Leroy tugged his sleeve down indignantly. “You gon’ answer the question?”
“Are you?”
“Bastard.” Leroy glared down at his paperwork and blinked a few times, trying unsuccessfully to get both eyes facing the same direction. “Well? You got your key, get out of my lobby.”
“You got it, boss.”
I was halfway to the stairs before he started shouting after me.
“You best come find me in the morning! You still got wires to fix!”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll fix ‘em.”
314 was a smelly room in the middle of a smelly hall overlooking the smelly alley behind the building. But at least it had a shower and soap. I tossed my crap on the bed and it landed like a rock on springs that had gone and had all their bounce used up. The old clawfoot tub in the bathroom was streaked with rust, but I didn’t need it to hold much water anyway. Plus, though I wasn’t exactly a beggar, I lucked out on the deal Leroy offered me, so I wasn’t going to be all ungrateful and shit. A room was a room was a room and at least this room wasn’t a prison cell with a slab of cement for a bed.
Pipes
