“Yes ma’am,” he said. “There were things we didn’t publish. Like the murder weapon. Kept it vague, blunt object, but he knew what it was. And that bit about the tattoo—we didn’t tell anybody that, not even Kash here.”
She sobbed once, then quieted. I helped her to her feet and she wrote her statement with a steady hand, her eyes looking glassy and faraway. Sandy was just as quiet as she wrote out her own statement.
As the cop cars pulled away, the three of us hovered close together. Silence reined until long after the taillights had faded, and nobody seemed to know what to do next. So we stood and gazed off into the darkness, waiting for the next step to reveal itself.
Chapter 28
I swear my insides froze over like the pond in winter. I remember the police leaving, unable to believe that my dad was gone with them. I remember being back inside, unable to see anything but the holes in the walls and the carnage in the kitchen.
Kash and mom were talking, but their voices were muted and alien in my ears as my brain refused any and all new information.
Dad killed Hunter.
Dad.
My dad.
Killed his own son.
My brother.
My best friend.
HIS OWN SON.
I don’t know how long I stayed like that, but after a while I heard a sound I hadn’t heard in years. Mom was singing. I’m still not sure why, but it snapped something inside me and I lit up like a freaking glow stick.
“What’s the matter with you?” I shouted. My breath was coming too fast, my mouth working on its own. Every filter between my brain and my mouth was out of order. The torrent was coming and there was nothing I could do to stop it. “This makes you happy? This?! Your husband killed your son! How can you be happy at a time like this?”
She smiled at me and it just made my rage fly higher and hotter. “Smiling! You never smile! You’ve been living with a killer for six years! Sharing a bed with him! Letting him run your life and my life and—he could have killed you! He could have killed me! Mama—he killed my… Hunter!” My scream split me in two and I was on my knees again, screaming and crying as if Hunter had died all over again.
The rest of the night was barely even a blur. I said things I don’t remember. Broke things and punched things and nobody stopped me. I don’t know when I finally burned myself out, all I know is I woke up on the sofa in the morning, full of an empty calm. Kash’s chest was my pillow and mom curled around behind me, her arms wrapped firmly around me.
Emotions spent, I spent several minutes just breathing and cataloging the events of the night before. All things considered, this was really a good thing. I never had to question my instincts about Kash ever again. Mom was finally free. I was free. Hell, with Kash’s innocence sealed, he must be free too. We could all live happily ever after—that is, if either of them could forgive me for the night before. I winced, remembering. I’d sounded like my dad. I must have looked like him, too.
Kash roused then, kissing me on the top of my head before his eyes were all the way open. “Good morning, sunshine. How do you feel?”
“Terribly guilty,” I said.
He sat up, shifting the whole pile of us, waking Mom. “What? Why?”
“Last night,” I said. “I didn’t mean to be like him.”
Kash wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, letting my tears spill over and stain his shirt.
“You’re nothing like him,” he said. “In all your fury, you never hurt anybody. Your anger was selfless and justified and honestly pretty harmless. You snapped, that’s all. Completely understandable, considering…”
“He’s right,” Mom said, stretching. “It was a lot to take in all at once. Which is why I saved this for the morning.” She got up and started toward her room. She looked back at us over her shoulder. “Well? Come on. I have something to show you.”
Curious, I followed, towing Kash behind me. I hadn’t been in her room in years. It felt weird to be standing there, surrounded by Dad’s stuff, especially with Kash wrapped around me.
“Several years ago, I noticed that your dad had started going into the shed every few days. I knew his pay rate and our bills hadn’t changed, but all of a sudden he had beer all the time. Used to be, he couldn’t afford more than two cases a week. That changed overnight. So, of course, I was curious.”
She opened her closet door as she talked, then pushed her clothes to one side. “Imagine how surprised I was when I found one of my good containers, filthy and damaged, sitting there on the shelf! I grabbed it to take it inside and clean it, but it was really heavy.”
Kash’s embrace had tightened around me and I could feel his heart beat fast against my shoulders. I frowned, confused. Mom’s eyes were sparkling.
“What was in it?” I asked.
“Money,” she said. “Loads of it. I don’t know exactly how much. I don’t think your father knew how much was there, either. At least I didn’t think he did. I took a handful and shuffled it around, then kept an eye on him. Every day he went out there, I’d go out after he was gone and take another handful.”
I was going to ask her what she did with it, but then she pushed on the back of her closet and popped a panel out. She slid the panel aside and reached into the hole. Kash’s grip around my waist grew even tighter until I had to wriggle to get him to loosen up.
“I kept it,” she said. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Daisy. I couldn’t risk him knowing that I knew about it. I really couldn’t risk
