It’s been a rough couple of weeks. The moving, the divorce… it all happened so quickly. I need to tell them about it. There’s still some whiskey left in that bottle. Maybe I can skip my first class and start out with a bang.
My instinct tells me to go inside, but my legs won’t listen. My knees are weak, but the rest of my body still works as it carries me across the mowed lawn and into the parking lot. The smell of freshly cut grass fills my nostrils, mingled with cigarette smoke and alcohol vapors. It reminds me of summer camp and how close the four of us were. There was a connection between us—not just physical, we all knew it.
Mom used to tell me that there’s a name for girls who mess around with more than just the one guy, but I still can’t accept that premise. Things were different with Kellan, Rhett, and Gage. It took me a while to find the right word for it… synergy. As I walk over to them, I can almost feel it. The butterflies wrestling in the pit of my stomach. My breath cut short. My skin tingling all over. What we had was unique.
So, why haven’t they reached out, like they said they would? Maybe I’ll find out now. My instinct is practically screaming at me to turn left and head inside. Run really damn far away. But I can’t help myself. I’m drawn to them, in an inexplicable manner. Like a moth to a flame. Nothing good ever happens to the moth. Maybe remembering that is worth something. But forgetting it is so damn easy right now.
The girls are the ones to see me first. They look like sophomores, their faces padded with a smidgen too much make-up. They instantly recognize me as some type of enemy, because their eyes turn into slits and their smiles to scowls.
“Who’s she?” the blonde asks, flipping her long, bleached hair over her shoulder.
Rhett follows her gaze, slowly, carefully, then freezes upon seeing me. His expression… darkens, and I’m suddenly gripped by what feels a lot like ice-cold fear. I can feel its frosted fingers clutching my throat, thrilled to choke me to death. But still, I don’t stop. I keep walking until I reach the Range Rover. By then, Kellan and Gage notice me, as well.
None of them look happy to see me.
What in the world is going on?
“No one,” Rhett says, then chugs a mouthful of whiskey. He pushes the bottle into the blonde’s small hands and opens the car door. The brunette moves back, almost excited by what she thinks is going to happen next—I’m not sure what that is, but, judging by the look on her face, it can’t be anything good.
“Long time no see,” I breathe, my voice gone, hidden somewhere far. Somewhere where I can’t find it. I keep talking, because Rhett is headed toward me, and he doesn’t look like the guy whose shoulder I cried on, back in summer camp. He looks more like the reason I’d need a shoulder to cry on, in the first place. “I didn’t know you guys were in Trinity, too! I mean, I just got transferred here. My parents sprung the divorce on me right after I got back from camp and…”
I lose my words, too, because he stops in front of me, much taller than I remember. Gage is out of the car now, eyeing me like I’m a bug he needs to squish with the heel of his boot. Kellan is the last one to leave the Range Rover. He grabs the whiskey bottle back from the blonde and raises his eyebrow at me. Suddenly, I’m small and defenseless, unable to move or speak. What the hell is happening?
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Rhett grunts out, his voice cold, cutting through me like an axe. I swallow back a knot, my palm sweaty and slipping from my backpack’s shoulder strap.
“I… I got transferred. What’s up with the—”
He grabs my backpack and pulls it wide open, with no regard for the zipper’s dwindling integrity. I’m stunned. Lots of questions, no answers, just dread piling up inside me, my instinct kicking and punching and desperately pointing at the door. Even now, I can’t move.
The girls are smiling. Oh, they’re enjoying this. Gage looks bored, checking his phone. Kellan hooks an arm around the blonde, pursing his lips as he gives me a disgusted sneer. I don’t recognize him anymore. Rhett starts digging through my bag.
“What are you…” My voice trails off.
I’m astonished by my own inability to react. It feels like I’m tied to the front of a runaway train, and we’re headed straight for a massive brick wall. I think I’m going to crash into it, and there’s no one out here to save me.
Rhett finds my tampons on the bottom, and he takes one out. My face is burning. If shame could kill, I’d be writhing and foaming at the mouth right now, giving my last breath. I hear laughter. The beauty queens from earlier are back outside, along with a dozen more seniors. It’s a “Holy shit!” moment, and I can’t even move a muscle to stop it from unfolding.
“Rhett, stop,” I whisper. “What are you doing?”
He flicks the tampon toward me. It hits my shoulder, then falls on the gravel, mute and as ashamed as I am. Rhett chuckles, picking out another one from the box. The blonde and the brunette are stifling their scratchy chortles. Gage smiles. Kellan glances to the side, noticing the beauty queens and giving them a nod of acknowledgment. This is amusing to them. My
