One, the directions were for flight. The author assumed I’d bond.
Two, the directions took me north, deep into the Karpak mountains.
To Thorkel.
Chapter Nineteen
What am I willing to do to stay?
The question kept me up late, long after I’d hidden the sapphire and its pages in my free boot. If Thorkel was correct, that I could somehow use the gem to free my magic, it would solve everything.
But to do so meant accepting the help of the man who had slaughtered our dragons and people. Not to mention, I’d need to hide the reasons why I could suddenly fling fireballs.
I could fling them against Thorkel.
Yet if I met him… what if he told me something that made me not want to kill him? I couldn’t imagine such a thing, but at one time no one could imagine the tribes of Carthesia uniting, or the renegade dragons in the desert forming a kyer. Countless men and dragons, persuaded that Thorkel was worth following.
I should take the directions to Merram. If they truly led to Thorkel… But I’d been through that with his previous gift. If Merram went north, another Illusioned trap would slaughter our dragons.
Then there was Merram himself, keeping his own secrets…
So many questions. No answers. Praying had done me little good before, but then, I’d been the one to run out of the Devotarium. Perhaps I needed to finish reading the passage about visions. Especially since one had come true.
I went early in the morning. This time, the Great Room’s tables were packed with people reading the Record or other religious books. Muted prayers and tears filled the hallway of prayer rooms. I passed one occupied room after another.
At the last room of muffled voices, I paused. Jerroth. Tressa.
I never apologized to her, I realized with dread. With my classes canceled, I’d had no chance. Long hours in the Quarters meant I ate at odd times or in my rooms.
“… barely move,” came Tressa’s annoyed voice.
“It’s made for prayer, Tressa.” Jerroth, too, sounded annoyed.
I bit my lip. No one stood in the hallway. I thought of creeping closer to the door—no. Eavesdropping? In a place of prayer?
“I’m bothered,” came Jerroth. Words too soft, then, “… spells were magnificent. I’m ashamed to say it, but he’s a genius.”
“He’s insane and this entire war… need to move on.”
I couldn’t help it. I eased over the tiniest bit, making sure they couldn’t see me through the little window.
“… upset, and you’re talking of parties.” Jerroth again. Definitely annoyed, and maybe angry. “There are dead dragons and mages because of this man—this madman I’m admiring—and you—you don’t care at all, do you?”
“Jerroth, love, you mistake me.” Tressa, switching to a voice of honey. A swish of fabric. I could see her in my mind, clinging to his arm and gazing at him with wide, concerned eyes. “You are right. What happened is tragic. But it is also war. From a practical standpoint, while it is right to mourn, we cannot let it make us weak. As for admiring Thorkel, well, it is natural.”
“Natural.” Jerroth’s doubt sounded a tinge hopeful.
“Is it wrong to admire an enemy who is more powerful, creative, and ambitious than your leaders? In fact—”
A door down the hallway opened and I jerked away. The emerging woman wiped her eyes. I pretended to be checking the windows for an open room as she left. Her room, now open…
Full of guilt, I returned to Jerroth and Tressa’s conversation. I’d missed some, but Tressa still spoke with confidence.
“… disregards the customs that make the rest of Drageria strong. Commoners hold high positions, there is no sense of rank—how can there be order during attacks if there is no clear hierarchy?”
“I suppose you’re right.”
An exasperated sound. “I’m glad I’m not staying at the Kyer. Things are frustrating at court, but not like here. Here, there are no consequences if a nobody slights you in public. At least no one will invite a Westwood to a party in Dragonsridge.”
“Tressa, you should let it go. Adara’s so naive—”
“I saw you talking to her. I know you explained how it works—etiquette that shouldn’t need to be explained.” I cringed as she went on. “She has not sent me a single apology for embarrassing me in front of such important people. I can’t have an Elderdown thinking poorly of Blackveil!”
Jerroth said nothing.
“Worst of all, I can’t retaliate! Adara is an unknown—my friends at court have never heard of her. I should have listened to Gia. She said not to give favor to a backwater ingrate.”
“No one can find fault in your generosity,” Jerroth said.
“I heard she can’t even use her Gift!” Tressa railed on without seeming to hear. “Why is she here? She doesn’t know Thorkel’s history, I don’t think she knows about the Seneschal’s scandal. How did she even get a position in the Dragon Quarters? There’s something wrong about her, Jerroth, and I will find out what.”
No. Please, please stop thinking about me.
“Arrrgh! I cannot believe Mother banished me here. Jerroth, the moment you bond, get me out of here. Except then I will be stuck in a little mountain—forgive me. Your house is honorable, and—”
“No, you deserve more,” Jerroth murmured. I could barely hear him. “I just don’t know how.”
A half sob. “Well, you can’t rise at the Kyer.”
“I told you—”
“Yes. Your father’s last wish. But if he knew what the Kyer had become…”
“I’ll try to find a way.”
Silence. I began to ease away when I heard Tressa murmur, “Adara.” But there were also sounds of them moving, so I rushed down the hall—someone had, without my noticing, entered the empty prayer room. I hurried instead through the Great Room and to the safety of the hallway.
My heart hammered in my chest as I returned to my rooms. I’d been a total sheep-brain for not apologizing to Tressa earlier. She had money, she had connections. If anyone could find out the truth of my past, it
