The objects clattered to the ground. So did he. “I love her, and oh, First One, he’s right. Maolmuire’s right. It’s the only way.”
He began rocking back and forth. Cautiously, I put my arms around him and held him while he cried. Strong, formal, rule-obsessed Jerroth… broken.
He and I, in that moment, were the same. Almost.
Finally, he wiped his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m supposed to be strong. Father’d be ashamed…”
How old had he been when he’d taken control of the county? To inherit while young… Jerroth always spoke with admiration for his father, and I suspected his whole life he’d been trying to please the dead man. Yet the rules of propriety and restraint hadn’t won him the girl of his dreams.
“I won’t tell,” I said softly.
“Thank you.”
After I left, I lingered in the hallway rather than return to the Quarters with the empty flat. Something had to change. I couldn’t confront Shamino, I just couldn’t, but…
No one has talked to Tressa.
I went to visit my former friend.
Chapter Thirty
“Adara. What a surprise.” Tressa’s smile told me it wasn’t a pleasant one. “What do you want.”
“A few minutes, if you’d be so kind.” Behind my back, I twisted my fingers together, apart, together.
Her eyes roved over my tattered Quarters clothing and her nose wrinkled. “Of course.”
I’d been to her rooms before, but they still overwhelmed me. Thick black rugs; intricate tapestries of ladies and lords dancing; plush, wine-colored upholstery. Elegance and luxury dripped from every inch. Tressa swept before me, her full skirts swishing, and she rang a little bell on a table. A woman dressed nearly as well as Tressa appeared from the servant’s room.
“Tea,” Tressa ordered.
Without a word, the woman fetched a tea set from the corner and laid it out on a table. She disappeared to the kitchen and returned with a teapot full of water and a plate of sweets.
Watching the woman, I thought of Mother. Had she been like that? Silent, invisible, busy. In my memory, Mother laughed and told stories with a sparkle in her eyes. She’d never looked at the ground when taking orders for her seamstress business, but instead looked her customers in the eye. She must have been completely conflicted, trading luxury and meekness for poverty and freedom.
Tressa cleared her throat and I jumped. “Fascinating, mmm? A personal servant? I don’t suppose you’ve ever had one.”
I took the hard, embroidered chair she gestured to and tried not to twitch from nerves. Tressa draped herself in another chair, elegant and nonchalant. It amazed me that either of us had thought we could be friends.
“Would you do the honors?” At my confusion, Tressa smiled. A predatory smile. “Serve the tea?”
No. Please, First One, she cannot know.
“Heat the water?” Tressa suggested.
Silently I picked up the pot, using a tiny speck of Gift to warm the water within. Thankfully the maid had filled the basket with leaves… but I didn’t know how long it took tea to steep. My tutor had only mentioned tea in passing. I hadn’t dared to ask. All nobles, high and low, knew the ritual.
Tressa handed me a plate laden with candied flowers. “You wish to talk. Talk.”
I licked my lips, which didn’t help because my mouth was so very dry. “I just saw Jerroth.”
“Jerroth?” An arched eyebrow. “You want to speak of Jerroth?”
I can do this for him. I leaned forward in the beautiful, hard chair. “He’s heartbroken. Have you seen him?”
She laughed. Laughed. “Poor fool. Surely he didn’t whine to you? He’s a better man than that.”
“He’s devastated,” I said, shocked at how easily she dismissed him. “He hasn’t slept, he’s drinking, he’s half-crazed. He adores you, Tressa. How can you throw his love away?”
“Love. Naive, romantic Adara. You’ve always seen the world so… differently.”
My twitchiness worsened. I popped a candied petal in my mouth to calm myself. It melted on my tongue, much too sweet.
“Tsk. You should wait for the tea. The combination is delightful.” She poured two cups. “When we met, my heart ached for you, such a pitiful but endearing thing. I put so much into our friendship. Then you insulted me and allied with that Westwood.”
I accepted the cup from her. “I told you I was sorry.”
“A week later! The war is an insufficient excuse. Maybe a day or two, but a week?” Every word she spoke, tense and angry. “Then, you apologized through a note! Prettily written, granted, but the rules are simple. Public insult, public apology. You don’t know how to do anything.”
With a deliberate motion, Tressa floated three candied petals in her tea. The steaming liquid melted the sugar, and they dissolved into nothing.
The blood drained from my face, my hands, my heart.
“Now, I have some words for you.” She took a serene sip. “I need Shamino devoted to me, but your name keeps coming up. That will not do.”
“I’m not trying to steal him away,” I said, rigid with terror.
She laughed. “You? Steal a man from me? The problem is, I became necessary to Shamino too late. He fell for a nobody back when he himself was a nobody.”
I tried to get angry, to use emotions as a shield, but fear choked me instead.
“Here’s what you’re going to do. You are going to leave the Dragon Quarters.”
“I can’t.” At her narrowing eyes, I added, “It’s not my choice! The Dragonmaster put me there.”
“Back when you were a trainee,” she said. “He can’t protest if his precious blue Dragon Mage wishes to join him at war. Until the Dragonmaster approves your request, you’re going to make yourself as scarce as possible. I need Shamino fully focused on our future.”
“Tressa, please.” I gestured to the hallway. “Jerroth loves you. He has land, money, respect—”
“If I were to explain the differences between Shamino and Jerroth, we’d be here all day.” Tressa set her cup on the table and tea sloshed into the saucer. “I have
