“It could be worse,” he murmurs, leading me out of my room.
“How could things possibly be any worse than being dragged around like a ragdoll?”
“You could get fucked like one too. Move. Brantley is throwing a party tonight and I need you to wipe the sad out of your eyes.”
“Hard to do—” I pause, squeezing my eyes shut to blink out the memories. Dorothy lived in the midst of the great Kansas prairies…
My breathing harbors my screams of when I woke and found her threatening to choke me.
“Hey!” Nate’s hands come to my arms.
I rear back. “Don’t fucking touch me.” I shove past him. “Good thing Brantley is having a party tonight. I could do with some distractions.” I stop outside Daemon’s room, pushing the door open slightly. I need something to pacify my rage that brutally rose to the surface.
His bed is empty.
I turn to face Nate, panic seizing my bones. “Where is he?”
Nate stops outside his door, staring between me and the bed.
“Goddammit, Nate!” I shove his chest. “What did you do!”
He falls backward, letting me shove at him. His eyes glass over and his jaw tenses. “He’s gone out. Will be back later.” Then he storms off and leaves me there, with an empty room and untamed thoughts.
Tillie
I tug on the hem of the dress that I borrowed from Bailey. It’s a long sleeve, see-through black garment that cuts off at my upper thigh. I paired it with a lace black bra underneath and—black cheeky boyshorts. I’m not proud of this dress choice, but I’m feeling hasty tonight. I don’t want to think about my past. I want it to disappear. I want to feel numb. I’m tired of hurting. As much as I think to myself that I need to turn dead inside against certain things or people, I don’t work like that. I can act like situations don’t affect me, but I’m only lying to myself. I’m good with lying to myself, and to others around me. If this is the only way that I’m going to be able to swim to the shoreline of peace, then I’ll make sure I float and not sink.
The music is blasting, spilling inside from the outside garden. At night, it’s even more spooky out there. I’m not sold on it. The back of Brantley’s house shows the design of the actual house. The left and right wing is cut into a U-shape, the whole inside of that U-shape is a mass garden. Flowers of all sorts springing up, displaying the only sign of life. It’s interesting, and not something I would have expected out here. Behind the gardens is where a large bonfire is blazing through the dark night, right before the backyard morphs into the forest and, yes, the Vitiosis graveyard which is obviously hidden between the trees in the forest somewhere.
I shiver, goosebumps breaking out over my skin. Everything Bran Bran is so creepy.
A glass is handed to me from behind, so I turn to face the owner. Cash is staring down at me with an eyebrow raised. “Thought you might need this.”
“Thanks.” I take it from him, bringing the rim to my lips.
“I take it boyfriends one and two haven’t seen you yet?” He raises a perfect eyebrow, his eyes dropping down my body.
“Bran Bran and Nate? No.” I shake my head, chuckling to myself. I didn’t plan to drink tonight. I still don’t like drinking, but one glass won’t hurt. I let the burn soothe my erratic heart and thoughts.
“Come, there are a whole bunch of people here that would love to see you…”
“Really?” I smirk, assessing him. “You’re an awful friend, Cash.”
“Aw.” He presses his hand to his chest. “I’m hurt, princess. Truly hurt.”
I shove him playfully as we make our way to the bonfire. There are people scattered around, sitting on old logs and drinking out of plastic cups. People I haven’t even seen before. When we get close enough, they all pause, everything falling silent, except for the song that’s playing through the loudspeakers that are set up outside.
My eyes drop, the silence annoying me. I quirk one eyebrow before they all go back to talking.
I turn to face Cash. “Are they all in our world?”
Cash laughs. “Hell naw. They just know who you are.”
“Huh.” I swallow a large gulp of my drink. “Interesting.”
“How is that interesting?” Cash asks, studying me carefully.
“That they know who I am, yet I don’t.” It’s true. I don’t. I used to know who I was. Why I was here and my purpose. I had a vision for what my life was going to be like, but I had a life worth living because I had someone to live for. Now I don’t. Giving birth to a baby is only a small part of becoming a mother. I had become a mother when I saw those two pink lines telling me that I was pregnant. That was when my thoughts started to shift into mother mode. Now? I can’t.
I take another sip of my drink, refilling it with the bottle of whiskey that’s sitting beside Eli. So much for just one glass and I don’t drink. It’s just Eli, Cash, Jase, and Hunter sitting with me. I notice how they all surround me like loyal wolves. They may be savage, they may be heartless, ruthless, and completely unattainable to most people, but with me, they’re different. I know that and respect it. It is subtle, but it’s there.
“Princessa, I think you’ve had enough…” Hunter says, judging me while passing the bottle of whiskey.
“Last I checked.” I snatch the bottle from him and pour more into my glass. That’s right. Glass. I get a motherfucking whiskey glass while everyone else here is drinking out of red Solo cups. “I’m my own woman, and also, no one owns me—”
“—You sure about that?” Nate’s voice interrupts us. I stiffen, refusing to turn and face him. “break up with
